Breadwinner Wife Puts Her Foot Down With Unemployed Husband to Find a Job, He Buys Himself a New Phone on Her Dime

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    My husband does not currently have a job because he is choosing his career carefully and wanting to make sure it's a place where he wants to work. Meanwhile, I work from home full time while also taking care of our baby. I take care of our son alone at night and about ~6 total hours during the day. I'm always exhausted. I'm
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    r/TrueOffMyChest ⚫ 6 h throwaway_111122 I resent my husband who relies on me financially yet spends more money than me.
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    My husband does not currently have a job because he is choosing his career carefully and wanting. to make sure it's a place where he wants to work. Meanwhile, I work from home full time while also taking care of our baby. I take care of our son alone at night and about ~6 total hours during the day. I'm always exhausted. I'm
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    also pretty frugal because I don't make a big money, just enough for our little family. But he recently bought a new computer part, new phone... And new game. 1. Yet I don't want to I'm so bring this up to him because he has short temper and anger issues, and I'm too tired to fight. I don't think I'll be happy with him
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    until he gets a job. Taking care of an adult who's dependent on you is soul-sucking.
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    Eta: I know it's my fault for marrying him. But I really loved him. In some ways, I still do. I was too naive to realize how hard living with a dependent adult and a baby would be. Actually, I trusted in him to step up. I just didn't judge him correctly. I'm miserable. It's my fault, but I don't have anyone that I can talk to. If I
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    tell my family, it's going to break their hearts. If I tell my friends, my friends are his friends and it will be socially uncomfortable. Actually, I'm embarrassed to admit to my friends I made a bad choice by marrying him. So here I am.
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    Pastabilities218 • 6h ago So instead of your money going toward your baby, it's going to him. He doesn't work and is freeloading entirely off of you, evading all responsibility, choosing zero career, and stealing money from your child. Why would your friends support a
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    deadbeat father avoiding his duties as a parent? He's a grown man who has managed to avoid all responsibility. It's not just that you deserve better. Your child deserves better too. There's no purpose in shaming you for marrying
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    and having a kid with him, what's done is done. It IS time, though, to make the harder but smarter choices for the sake of your baby and yourself. He doesn't have to rely on you. You allow him to rely on you. You don't have to do that.
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    Anonimityville • 6h ago It's never too late to undo a bad decision. Get rid of him. You'll feel 200 pounds lighter.
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    • Tight-Background... 6h ago Hey, so open a new bank account, or take him off of yours. Just because you are married doesn't mean you need to share your money. Honestly, if he reacts negatively, PLEASE tell your family. Chances are they already know and are
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    waiting for you to seek help from them.
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    donaldsw2ls 6h ago This is why my mom divorced my dad. She fell out of love with him over financial issues like this. She made the most money, but my dad would have a new car without talking with here. She was driving an old car. Multiple times she
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    would go get groceries and the check bounced even though she just got paid. I doubt your going to continue loving him when he feels and acts like a leech.
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    • kickingyouintheface ⚫ 6h ago Your friends already know sweetheart. Anyone with a pair of eyes would see that what he's doing is not okay. Let him get mad, you're mad, right? him, let him know he needs to get ANY job and ASAP, and
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    put his on an allowance. The one time my husband, a carpenter, tried to work for himself but wasn't being disciplined enough to make it, I took his card from his wallet and put $40 in it. Told him that's what he had until payday, don't like it, Yeah, he was mad, but off. him. He was us up!
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    bunnylicious81 • 6h ago Create a monthly budget spreadsheet and shows him his big spending hurts the household?
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    I don't work, my husband is the breadwinner. He gives me monthly allowance, but he will give me extras if I ask, which was almost every month. One day he showed me his monthly budget spreadsheet, stating that we were in deficit, he had to take money from saving account or sold some stocks,
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    since then I don't go over budget anymore, well, maybe one or two times, during spring or summer break since the kids are home and we take them out often.
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    FairyFartDaydreams ⚫5h ago You need to use your words. Tell him he has 1 month to find a job or get out because you have a kid and he needs to stop acting like a carefree teen.

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