Resident refuses to let neighbors drive on their private road, then gets a call from district official telling them ‘it’s not nice' to deny access: ‘I'm not obligated to be nice’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 21, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Surely we've all had that inner conflict between being kind to others and being true to ourselves, and it's hard to find the right balance between the two. On one hand, you want to do good and help other people however you can, while on the other hand, that help can come with a price, a price that you might not feel ready to pay.

The couple in this story bought a secluded house because they wanted as much privacy as they could get, and they were pretty happy about their purchase. That was until they learned their neighbors had been using their private road to drive around the neighborhood, a road they paid a lot of money for. While they could be nice neighbors and let others use that road, they wanted to keep their privacy, so they told their neighbors to stay out. This led to an interesting conversation with a district official who reprimanded them for their unfriendly behavior.

Keep scrolling to read the rest of the story. After you are done, click here for another story of a neighborly dispute with entitled residents.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10406431232
    via Getty Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for not allowing my new neighbour to use my road for access.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 03
    Hello Reddit! In my country, there is a saying - "if you want to live in the forest, you have to buy the forest!". So we did, Me and my husband's life dream was to live somewhere
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 04
    private, and a few years ago we finally did it! made home office possible, so there was no reason to live in the city anymore! So we sold our apartment and bought a nice house which was surrounded by forest.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 05
    Our closest neighbour is 400 meters away behind a grove of trees, historically there used to be a road going from front our house to the next house and the road connected 2 parallel roads both leading to the nearest town.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 06
    The house next to us has been empty for 30 years, and even before that the people who lived there used the entrance on their side as back then both roads leading to the town were gravel,
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 07
    so the last time the road was used as a road was even before the previous owner got the place in 60s, so nature has taken over the part that is between two houses, but the path is still passable with vehicles.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 08
    This summer, someone bought the neighbouring land with the remains of the house to build their home there, which is fine. One day I saw a lady driving through our driveway on the path
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 09
    leading to the next house, so I jumped on the ATV and followed and asked "Why are you driving on our road?" and the lady answered - "Well we thought we are going to use this road because the entrance this way leads to the paved road!"
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 10
    I pointed out that we have a sign "Private road, enter only with permission!" She replied, "I looked it up, it used to be a public road in the 50s." I told her "Not my problem,
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 11
    please don't use our road!", the government let everyone privatize many small roads in the 90s in my country, so they don't have an obligation to take care of those, so it is our private road.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 12
    I get why she is mad, the road our driveway leads into is paved, but they have to use a gravel road, and it is a ~10km drive into town. They thought they would use our driveway to access the better road.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 13
    I told her that they can't drive there and she called me an for that. We bought the place with the idea of privacy, other people using our driveway would mean no privacy.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 14
    Later I got a call from some local district office and they told me that it is not nice to deny others access to their home, and again I explained that they have access!
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 15
    They, the officials themself made the road private decades ago, and the official told me that this was not nice of me. AITA?
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 16
    EDIT: I am asking about AITA part, no need to discuss legal part here, I know the law.
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 17
    seanmconline . 1h ago In the countryside it's important to get on with your neighbours, you might need emergency help from them sometime in the future. People have an idyllic view of country living but if you don't get on with your neighbours it can be a lonely place.
    via seanmconline
  • 18
    OriginalBranch4175 OP 1h ago The lonelyness was the whole point, this is why we bought a house that is inside the forest, no neigbors visible, to traffic. visible (unless someone ignores the signs).
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 19
    Not everyone likes to be around people. And how would you know if those neighbors would even ever be useful?
    via OriginalBranch4175
  • 20
    fallingfaster345 1d ago. P◆perintendant [64] Based on the information provided here, that being that the driveway and adjoining private road are on your private property, of course you are NTA for informing someone that they are on private property.
    via fallingfaster345
  • 21
    I am a little skeptical though seeing as you got a call from the district office. Wouldn't they have access to the information and have been able to tell your neighbors that it was indeed a private road if it is in fact a private road? Why even bother calling you? That's the only part that seems off.
    via fallingfaster345
  • 22
    hadMcDofordinner • 1d ago Certified Proctologist [28] I would go talk to the "local district office" to see if they really called you. LOL Could be a fake official. NTA and your neighbors should have had enough sense to come to you and ask for occasional access (not full, ever), in case of an emergency or, say, once a week to go into town.
    via hadMcDofordinner
  • 23
    Organic Start_420 • 1d ago Partassipant [2] NTA put a gate in Also more traffic especially heavy one will destroy your road and you'll be responsible to fix it paying out of pocket.
    via Organic_Start_420
  • 24
    Jenicillin 1d ago Aficionado [16] NTA. It's your road, it's privately owned. The neighbor should have made sure she had legal access before buying and assuming she did. Would it be nice if you allowed it? Yeah, sure. Do you have to?
    via Jenicillin
  • 25
    Nope. Is it neighborly? Yes. You don't have to be nice. You want privacy, you purchased privacy. If she wanted that access she should have checked. No one is obligated that official. to be nice.
    via Jenicillin
  • 26
    KittikatB 1d ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] NTA. It's not your job to be nice. The district officer is just trying to guilt you into letting them use your road so they don't pressure the district to pave the other road.
    via KittikatB
  • 27
    Antique_Ant_9196 • 1h ago Your defensive attitude suggests you're an abrasive person. So yeah, YTA..
    via Antique_Ant_9196
  • 28
    OriginalBranch4175 OP • 1h ago Sure, good thing I moved into forest with nobody near me right?
    via OriginalBranch4175

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neighbors reddit story Reddit privacy aita house private neighborhood neighborhood-drama neighborhood-stories petty entitled entitled people
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