Fun uncle gets pressured into babysitting his niece and nephew from 9 AM to 7 PM every Saturday and Sunday, his sister flips out when he asks to cut back: 'I never agreed to be their full-time nanny'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 30, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

So many people don't think twice about taking advantage of their loved ones. They see it as their right to get constant service and favors from family members and friends, no matter how absurd they may be. While we do have some level of duty to our family, especially when they're experiencing significant hardship, you've got to draw a line in the sand when they're treating you like a total sucker. There's a big difference between giving your brother money when he is unemployed and struggling and spending all of your weekends babysitting your sister's kids for no money and without any thanks. The latter situation is the crux of this tale. A mother of two young children is struggling to keep her marriage afloat, and her strategy for doing so is to have functionally child-free weekends. She gets her childless brother to care for them 10 hours a day, and she's wholly unprepared to give that service up.

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    Cheezburger Image 10410959104
    via Brooke Cagle (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for Refusing to Babysit My Niece and Nephew Every Weekend?
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 03
    I (32M) love my sister, Hannah (35F), and her kids (5M and 3F). I've always been the "fun uncle" and happily agreed when Hannah asked me to babysit one Saturday so she and her husband, Jake, could go on a much-needed date. The kids were great, and I didn't mind helping out. But the next weekend, they asked again. Then again the next.
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 04
    What started as one Saturday has now turned into me babysitting both Saturday and Sunday, every weekend. They drop the kids off at 9 AM and pick them up around 7 PM. That's two full days of childcare—no pay, no food brought for the kids, no consideration for my time. I work full- time during the week, so my weekends are my only time to relax, hang out with friends, or get things done.
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 05
    I finally told Hannah I couldn't babysit one weekend because I had made plans with friends. She got upset, saying that I didn't understand how hard it was for her and Jake to maintain their relationship and that their marriage was struggling. She implied that my refusal to help could make things worse between them, which made me feel really guilty. She said I was being selfish and that I should step up as family.
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 06
    I tried to compromise by offering to babysit once or twice a month, but Hannah said that wasn't enough. She said since I don't have kids, I don't understand the stress they're under and that they need this time for their relationship to survive. Now, both Hannah and Jake are upset with me, and even my parents are weighing in, saying I should just help out "for the sake of family."
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 07
    The thing is, I do want to help, but I feel like my time is being taken for granted. I love my niece and nephew, but I need my weekends back, too. I never agreed to be their full-time nanny, and I'm starting to feel burned out from constantly giving up my plans.
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 08
    I'm torn because I understand they need a break, but I also feel like it's unfair to expect me to give up my entire weekend, every weekend, indefinitely. AITA for refusing to babysit every weekend and wanting to set boundaries with my sister?
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 09
    Kami_Sang NTA - so your sister has kids but thinks you should sacrifice your weekends so she could be childfree and have fun. She's delusional. Don't let her rob you of your life. You don't have kids and weekends are your time to relax and have fun. You don't owe your sister a sacrifice she isn't even willing to make - you must work all week then babysit her kids all weekend? She's not even willing to do that.
    via u/Kami_Sang
  • 10
    You are not responsible for her needing a break. Also, which parent gets a break every weekend all weekend unless you're a dead beat? I can understand her asking you every now and again for a few hours, maybe a one off weekend. But to take all your weekends? She's massively selfish. Telk your parents for the sake of family they can help out. A parent is closer kin than a sibling so they can step up for their daughter.
    via u/Kami_Sang
  • 11
    JEBELKINS Your sister is claiming that there's issues in her marriage and they need the time alone. Perhaps you should point out that you work full time and having her kids every weekend prevents you from finding someone or if have a partner from dedicating your time to nurturing your own relationship. Family should not weigh in when they aren't pulling their weight in watching her kids.
    via u/JEBELKINS
  • 12
    Harmonia PASB She's not going to care because she has a family and OP doesn't. Even if OP had a partner she won't see them as a family unless they have kids. The grandparents can lend a hand or they can pay for a sitter. There are options other than OP but those don't allow them to drop the kids off like they would a non custodial parent's every weekend custody schedule and not have to pay a dime. They have a sweet, sweet deal, of course they're going to be mad they can't shirk their parental re
    via u/Harmonia_PASB
  • 13
    Suckerforcats NTA. No is a complete sentence. Don't answer her calls or answer the door. They're using you. One day a month is one thing but both days every single weekend is taking advantage. You have a life and rest time too. If they want weekends to be kid free, well, they should have thought of that before they had kids. They can hire a babysitter but you shouldn't have to give up your only free time so they can have free time for themselves.
    via u/Suckerforcats
  • 14
    Fancy Moonlight OP Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it! You make a good point about the weekends. I don't mind helping out now and then, but sacrificing every weekend just isn't realistic for me. It's exhausting, and I'm not sure why I'm being expected to take on this much when my sister is perfectly capable of managing her own kids. I'll definitely bring up the idea of our parents stepping in more after all, if they feel so strongly about family pitching in, they can help too. It's t
    via u/FancyMoonlight
  • 15
    MizPeachy Keen ΝΤΑ Your sister & BIL need to spend time together, WITH THEIR OWN KIDS on the weekends. She wants you to make all the sacrifices for her relationship? No. She & BIL need to also make sacrifices, ask the grandparents, their friends to help. You are making sacrifices SHE won't make for her own family. You're no longer available for free babysitting. You can offer one day a month, two if you feel comfortable. According to your schedule. Live your life.
    via u/MizPeachyKeen
  • 16
    Tough Crazy_8362 Hannah is very manipulative, implying that if her marriage fails it's YOUR fault. Ballsy asf. Twice a month, that alone is extremely generous! Babysitters in my city make $20/hr - plus they bring no food? So and entitled. You feel guilty because she specifically tried to make you feel that way. What an AH move. NTA and stand your ground on this one.
    via u/Tough_Crazy_8362
  • 17
    sleddingdeer Stop baby sitting altogether. If their relationship is so bad that they need every weekend off from parenting, then they might as well end it now and move on. Then they will both get 2 free weekends a month and are free to find partners who suit them more. My guess is they are partying their a$$es of and are hungover during the day. Sorry, that's not ok. Your parents are free to babysit. They are free to hire babysitters. But this needs to stop now. Don't even do your reduced schedu
    via u/sleddingdeer
  • 18
    MysteriousRange4760 That was my thought too. Either they're partying hard and stuck in bed all day hungover or they just don't like being with their children. During the week they have school, work etc so they're only spending a few hours every day with the kiddos awake. They obviously don't like being parents and that's just sad and unfortunate for their children.
    via u/MysteriousRange4760
  • 19
    junkfile19 If this were to continue, the kids would start to wonder why their parents ship them off every single weekend. They would feel like a burden to their own parents, which is exactly how they're being treated. ΝΤΑ
    via u/junkfile19

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childcare nephews family drama babysitter kids mother niece nanny babysitting dad uncle little kids family mom nephew children Father
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