Years of Friendship Come to an End After Woman's Best Friend Fails to Reach Out During Mother's Decline in Health: 'You weren't there when I needed you'

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  • 01
    TWO TAKES r/TwoHotTakes u/Star_moon1227 • 11h Aitah for blocking my ex bff repeatedly without giving her a chance to talk to me. Listener Write In
  • 02
    1 24f and my ex bff 23f were close friends from sophomore year of highschool til I was 21. We would sleep at each others house all the time. Her mom called me her daughter. My mom called her mija (daughter in Spanish). Her grandparents loved me to death also. We literally did everything for each other. I supported her when she got kicked out. I was there when she said she was suicidal on Valentine's Day when I was already on a date with my bf. We basically flew to her house and stayed with her.
  • 03
    She was there for me with all my health issues. And when I had to quit jobs because of my narcolepsy with cataplexy she supported me too. She'd pay for us to go out or get me food when I had no energy to do anything. She literally felt like a sister to me. Everyone in my family treated her like a sister. My nephew even had a nickname for her. My autistic brother was comfortable with her too and he hates everyone.
  • 04
    But when I was 21 my mother slipped into a coma due to complications with lupus. I tried reaching out to her but she wasn't there for me at all. Barely texted back. Or even said anything to me. We'd make plans which was hard for me to make because I had to raise my autistic brother and pay all the bills my mom was paying. I picked up jobs and worked myself to death so on my off days when I needed a distraction I made plans with her. Which in return she cancelled it last minute for her then boyfr
  • 05
    7 months later my mother passed away. I was struggling mentally with everything and I sent her a last message on when my mom's funeral was happening and where at. I told her my mom would appreciate her being there since my mom always thought of her as a daughter. She never even opened my message. 4 months later my boyfriend asked me to move in with him and to bring my brother because he can see me breaking down.
  • 06
    I moved across the country for him. I moved from Illinois to Washington and it was a huge change for me but a good one. I started posting about my adventures with my boyfriend and being in Washington and that's when she finally tried texting me again.
  • 07
    She send me a message that said "hey sorry I didn't text you:(!! I was just super busy with Jose (her boyfriend). I saw you moved!!! You should invite me over one day and Imk if I can bring Jose!!:)"
  • 08
    I was astonished at her audacity to be honest. She didn't acknowledge my mother's death at all. It felt like she wanted a free vacation and that's it. I ended up just blocking her and I didn't hear anything from her until a couple months after that. She'd occasionally make a new account and say " hey I miss you pls talk to me:(" and I just blocked her without an explanation over and over again. Until recently her cousin texted me.
  • 09
    She asked me to hear out my ex bff. That it hurts her so much that I won't talk to her. That she needs me. She doesn't know what to do without me. But I feel like I don't need her in my life anymore. I feel guilty because we supported each other through everything. But for her to not be there when my mother passed away.... Hurts like crazy. To not even acknowledge it too. I just wanted to know if I should hear her out or if I'm in the right to just block her and ignore her. 980 ⇓ 177 Д D
  • 10
    Rade-Royal-5043 • 11h Where was she when she needed you? You feel bad because you're human and have empathy and you once loved this person. That love doesn't just go away, it hurts because you loved and cared so much for her that you can fathom ever doing what she did to you to her. Hear her out if you want but all you will be getting are a bunch of excuses, a bunch of woe is me stories, and it most likely will never redeem her for how she discarded you in your time of need.
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    Protect your peace. Cherish the memories and fun times you once had but remember they were past times. Don't allow them to cloud your judgement on her. The fact that her first message wasn't I am so sorry I was unable to be there for you during your time of need or to say my goodbyes to your mom speaks volumes to me. She wants a free place to crash at in your new city. ... Reply 1 505
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    Worried-Guarantee-90 • 1h Exactly! It's hard to move on from someone you cared for so deeply, but you deserve better than excuses. Protecting your peace is the priority here. If she really cared, she would've reached out differently. ... 4 5 3
  • 13
    start46 • 11h So she needs you now and want to talk to you. But when you needed her at one of the worst times in your life she was no where to be found. She didn't reach out or show up once. And when she finally did she didn't even apologize. You don't owe her anything. She's not a real friend. Either keep her blocked or if you want to get it off your chest send her a message explaining how you feel then block her. Either way she is not a friend you want in your life Reply 156
  • 14
    Brandykat 11h You're the only person who can make that call regarding if you should hear her out or not. However should you choose not to, you wouldn't be wrong. Sometimes we just outgrow our friendships. I had to break up with my best friend, and I have no regrets. ... Reply 449
  • 15
    orchidlake ⚫ 11h Yeah, this. • Only you know what fulfills you, makes you happy and is comfortable for you, OP. You're not an a hole for moving on from a person that wasn't there for you in a rough time. If something in you tells you to hear her out (NOT out of guilt), do it. If everything in you tells you to stay no contact, stay no contact. Literally nobody else can tell you with 100% accuracy what you need to have inner peace ← ⇓ & 소 98
  • 16
    Necessary_Tap343 • 8h Exactly, some friendships come with expiration dates and once they expire keeping them going only leaves you with a toxic mess. 24
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    aretasdamon • 7h Personally I'd 100% want to hear if their excuse or reasoning for not acknowledging me or my family in the worst time of our lives met my threshold. And if it didn't, like I'd assume this convo went I'd explain how bulls a one sided friendship was and how I've outgrown whatever that friendship was ... 15
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    stickywebbb • 2h This would be me. I think just for closure I would throw out a line like, "Please explain how ignoring my mother's illness and makes you my friend. She loved you like a daughter. You ignored her and me when things were at their worst." Get her reply. Say goodbye, or just block her again. Sometimes when we're young, we form friendships by proximity. As we grow in our 20s and beyond, we change and outgrow people. It hurts like⠀⠀, but better to appreciate what they were in your lif
  • 19
    not a robot Minute_Box3852 • 11h If she didn't know exactly why you blocked her she wouldn't be begging for you to hear her out. She knows and knew exactly what she was doing. Move on and away from her and keep her blocked. While you still considered her your bff, she did not reciprocate. ... Reply 100
  • 20
    GingerSnap4949 • 11h Hard pass. That's a conditional friend, that is only there when it benefits her, not you. ... Reply 168
  • 21
    yennyyenyen · 11h She's horrible and a user. Tell her cousin to kick rocks and block her too. Reply 62
  • 22
    Top_Put1541⚫ 10h Sounds like the cousin wants to stop having to show up for this pathetic needy relative and wants to offload the labor back on to the OP. She's not asking the OP to reconcile with Exstie out of the kindness of her heart or anything. She's meddling because she gets something out of it. ... ← & 쇼 313

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