Woman Questions Boyfriend's Marriage Proposal After Compliments Give Her Major Ick Energy: 'My stupid brain is getting in the way'

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 28, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Dating is already hard, but adding long-distance to the mix makes it even more challenging to navigate. It's a whole new set of rules and video chats. What if it didn't stop there? The ick can creep up on you when you least expect it, and sometimes you don't even know until it is already there front and center for all to see. All to see except for your partner which makes it even more awkward. 

That's exactly what happened to our girl after her boyfriend showed her a teenage video of his for the first time. Is there even a way to come back from it? This couple may or may not make it to the finish line and so it begs the question, can the ick be fought off? You'll definitely need a knight in shining armor to battle this dragon. Hopefully the dragon can be slayed soon so our couple can "slay" all the way to the altar.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    ← r/relationship_advice ⚫ johnappleyseid Boyfriend (21M) of 3 years giving me (21F) the ick.. and I have no idea why. ...
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 02
    Boyfriend of 3 years suddenly giving me the ick... and there's no reason why.
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 03
    My boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) have been together 3 years as of April. We met in college and are in the same major, so we were pretty inseparable since. We are now long distance since it's the summer (something we've done two summers in a row now, so not necessarily 'new'). Suddenly,
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 04
    everything he's doing is giving me the 'ick', and I have no idea why. The thing is, nothing has really changed. He is still the sweet, affectionate, kindest person I've ever known. But
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 05
    now, his compliments cringe me out, and him initiating intimacy honestly grosses me out, as much as it hurts me to say. His playful, funny nature now strikes me as literally childish, which gives me an even further ick.
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 06
    The scary thing is, marriage is on the table once we graduate. It's always been the plan, so not really a surprise. Up until these past few weeks, I've been totally on board
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 07
    and excited! But now, senior year approaches, so maybe it's becoming too real? Idk.
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 08
    The thought of hurting him is unimaginable. Even typing this out hurts, just the thought of him reading it is awful.
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 09
    But, I've tried so hard but I can't shake these feelings. What I'm really looking for is how to reignite that spark for
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 10
    myself. How do I move past these icks and eye-rolling, cringey reactions and fall back in love with him?
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 11
    TLDR: My boyfriend is giving me the ick and making me reconsider our long term, serious relationship. How do I fall back in love?
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 12
    Skull- I don't know if you can TBH. It's really hard to go back once you've got the ick. Nothing at all triggered it? All I can say is plan a romantic date night, try to take it seriously. If you still feel the ick afterwards, it may be over. 3
    via u/Skull**
  • 13
    johnappleyseid OP ⚫ Idk if this counts as a trigger, but I do remember the first time I got it. He showed me a video he recorded of himself as an early teen/tween, and he sounded exactly. the. same. Not his physical voice, but the jokes he made, the cadence of his voice.. So now, sometimes when he speaks, all I hear is that little kid, and it grosses me out. As if he speaks and I'm suddenly hanging out with a 13 yr old. Thanks for the reply, I can try to do that. We're currently long distance, s
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 14
    alesan_me I would let him know my feelings, if he is as amazing as you say he would be supportive an understanding. Try to find a path forward as a couple, if later you cannot find a way to fall in love again, it will not be as shocking for him, he would know you tried. I would prefer to know the truth than being with someone that does not love me anymore and is just faking their feelings, he deserves better, someone that loves him and it's excited to marry him. 2 ...
    via u/alesan_me
  • 15
    johnappleyseid OP • 1y ago He absolutely does deserve that, I just want it to be me! I want to be the girl excited to marry him, my stupid brain is just getting in the way.
    via u/johnappleyseid
  • 16
    Mckitten Man Distance can do that to relationships unfortunately. Even though you're together, you're not full on together... You have a lot of independence when you're LDR, and that independence can shift people from a first person perspective, to a third person perspective about their relationship and notice things they never payed attention to before.
    via u/MckittenMan
  • 17
    All I can recommend... Do not get married if you're feeling this way. Marriage is not a solution to fix problems. 2 ...
    via u/Creative_Recover
  • 18
    Creative_Recover You grew apart whilst you were away and if you want to save the relationship, then you need to focus on spending quality time together. You are not ready for marriage yet either, get your relationship sorted and in a genuinely good place first. 2 ...
    via u/Creative_Recover
  • 19
    However... Ick's are kind of different ball game. And I am not sure that its even possible... You would be trying to force yourself to feel something that is against your natural instinct. I know it s ks... but these things happen unfortunately.
    via u/MckittenMan
  • 20
    • Those who wait to marry until they are over 25 years old are 24 percent less likely to get divorced Marrying young vs marrying over age of 25... Has greater chances of success.
    via u/MckittenMan

Tags

long distance long term relationship couples love ick Reddit dating compliment marriage proposal relationships reddit thread
Scroll Down For The Next Article