17-year-old storms out of his own birthday party when parents "gift" him the gender reveal of his sibling as his only present: 'Everyone was saying I’m a spoiled brat for walking off'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 30, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

There's one thing worse than not getting someone a gift for their birthday or any other situation where gift-giving is an expected social norm, and that's getting them a "gift" that is actually for yourself and serves your own wants and needs. Doing this surpasses the thoughtlessness of not getting a gift and strays into the territory of showing them that you put thought into it and then settled on something for yourself instead.

In a similar vein, it's never acceptable to overshadow or steal the thunder of the guest of honor at an event, such as announcing your engagement at someone's wedding, your pregnancy at their baby shower, or any combination of similar occasions. While it might seem convenient to stage your important announcement while everyone is gathered together, such flawed, self-centered thinking will see you labeled as a narcissist, whether or not you are one. Thus, achieving both of these breaches of etiquette by giving your announcement as a gift is outright intolerable. When it's parents doing this to their own child, it's either a serious misstep or a sign of narcissistic parenting. 

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    via Kyle Head

    Image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Image is for illustration only and subjects are models.

  • 02
    AITAH for storming out of my birthday party after my mom did her gender reveal at my (17M) birthday party? So I'm using a throwaway account to hide my identity from friends who said I'm the AH for walking out of my birthday party. Everyone was coming up to a stage to share what they got me for my birthday.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 03
    My mom was the last one, and she revealed the gender of my new sibling. I was just so annoyed because I already feel my parents attention deviating from me. I just wanted one last day about me, but I see I can't have that anymore. I stormed out and my girlfriend went after me to tell me it was pretty tacky of her to do that especially because she didn't get me a gift.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 04
    The gift was essentially the gender reveal, and my parents know I'm not too thrilled about the idea anyways. Everyone was saying I'm a spoiled brat for walking off. Am I really the AH, or do I have a right to be annoyed?
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  • 05
    Deep_Mood_7668 • 2h ago Gender reveals are one of the most idiotic traditions we have NTA
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  • 06
    Chaoticgood790 · 2h ago . who tf thinks a gender reveal is a gift anyways? so tacky. One more year OP and then you can leave this behind
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    shammy_dammy • 2h ago One more year and you can get out of this completely. NTA. At that point in time, it ceased to be your birthday party and became your mother's gender reveal. No reason for you to stay.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 08
    East-Salt-9570 2h ago. • As a mother I could never make a day that is for my child be about me. That is beyond selfish. I'm sorry that that happened and imo you are NTA. Your mother saw an opportunity to save a buck and make it about her and that s ks. One more year and you can leave.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 09
    inchyradreams · 2h ago . NTA. Your parents didn't even get you a gift and your mom made your night all about her. You have a right to be angry. Don't let other people invalidate your feelings about this, it sounds like there are some underlying issues in your family.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
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    I'm that sorry your birthday was ruined. When you turn 18, celebrate it exactly how you want - start planning your dream 18th birthday now. Learn to treat yourself kindly, even when others don't.
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  • 11
    MyChoiceNotYours 2h ago. NTA that was more than tacky that was cruel. It was YOUR birthday not HER gender reveal. Just remember you turn 18 soon then you can go NC or LC with them since they're already choosing your sibling over you. Your girlfriend sounds awesome.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 12
    . Bookish1331 2h ago NTA. They made your birthday about them.
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    TroublesomeTurnip • 2h ago • NTA also just so you know, you don't need to bond with your much younger sibling because I can predict your mom nagging you to babysit and treat your sibling well when in fact, the age gap is too much IMO. I'd create distance as soon as you're able to do so.
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  • 14
    DreamPinkSunflo... . 2h ago. NTA. Next year, you may want to have a different celebration. Maybe just with friends who will celebrate you.
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    • enchylatta 2h ago. NTA however everyone who came to your party now probably thinks that your mother is one. That's the thing about so many of these questions. All the people that hijack an event and make it about them share a common denominator. They are all the and everyone in attendance knows it. (This goes for the people who wear inappropriate clothing to weddings as well - everyone there views them as .)
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 16
    lilmissspetite • 1h ago. Honey, you're not the AH. It was your day, and you deserved it to be about you. That gender reveal was just plain tacky, especially without a gift for your birthday. You've got every right to feel hurt, and stepping away was understandable. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting your special day.
    via Born_Veterinarian847
  • 17
    Mother_Assumpt... • 2h ago. NTA This is some of the same no class bs as i consider doing a birthday as a package deal for 4th of July or Christmas if the birthday falls close. Its celebrating a birthday, not Flo bundling with Progressive!
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  • 18
    teresajs 2h ago • NTA . Also, just a head up that you're going to need to set some very firm boundaries around not babysitting.
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  • 19
    jessmeows 57m ago . your gift was the gender reveal? why on earth would a 17 yr old want that Imao. No OP you're nta, your girlfriend is right it is tacky
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family drama entitled parents brother birthday teenagers siblings family feud entitled family entitled people
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