'You only care about yourself': Entitled wife demands that her contractor husband build 5 extra rooms in their house so her family can move in

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 12, 2024 5:00 PM EST

This man couldn't catch a break from his in-laws when his wife insisted he build their house 2x the size so that her extended family could move in with them…

Are you mentally preparing for the holidays coming up? Regardless of whether your family bickers over mashed potatoes or peacefully sings Christmas carols, by the time the family dinner is over, the plates are washed, and the flickering candles are blown out, you're probably VERY ready to pack your bags and go home. That's because we all need some healthy space from our in-laws, cousins, siblings, and parents–it's what nature intended. 

However, when this man finally purchased his dream lot in Minnesota, he was psyched to build his own personal oasis, far from anyone else. But his entitled wife had other ideas, demanding he build 5 extra rooms so that her entire family could move in with them. So much for personal space…

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10427405824
    via welcomia

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my wife that the house we are gonna build won't have 5 extra rooms for her mom, her 3 brothers and her cousin?
    via bulmynjo
  • 03
    Was looking at house plans to submit to the town hall for approval for an acre we own out in Minnesota, 4 bedroom, one for wife and me one for each of our 2 kids and an extra room as a play room/game room. "Where's my family staying?"
    via bulmynjo
  • 04
    She already promised them that they would move in with us, and she us now furious that "You only care about yourself. What about me?" I told her that I didn't agree to that from the start. Now she's looking to sell the land from under me to prove a point, I guess.
    via bulmynjo
  • 05
    Info: The land is owned jointly by me and my wife. It was purchased using the life insurance payout we got for the death of our one year old girl in 2021. Between then and now, I got a manufacturing job with a federal government contractor.
    via bulmynjo
  • 06
    Her family has no stake or rights to our land. I got a call from the town's registrar about the "ownership change inquiries" for the land. We actually own 2 parcels, and I offered her to sell one parcel to her siblings for market value, but she declined.
    via bulmynjo
  • 07
    The house will be paid by me. I told her if her family want, I can do an ADU, but they will pay market value for their rent, per room. So, about 900 each. She declined. My current course of action is to
    via bulmynjo
  • 08
    transfer my ownership of the land into a trust with my kids as primary owners with express instructions that only direct descendants of me may build and live on the property.
    via bulmynjo
  • 09
    LK Feral NTA. I'm guessing her family would also be a financial burden? Why else would they need to live with you? That many functioning adults should be able to pool together, buy their own land, and build their own house.
    via LK_Feral
  • 10
    However... Who owns the land? You may be selling it soon to divide the marital assets anyway, if you really don't want your wife's relatives living with you. If the land is in her family or was her inheritance, I'd change my vote. But, if you purchased it together, my vote stands.
    via LK_Feral
  • 11
    Midwest Normal Apparently, OP's wife sees OP as an all-in-one social service for her family. Lodging, food,.. where will it end?
    via MidwestNormal
  • 12
    amberlikesowls There will be no end. I wouldn't want to build a house with her and her entire family.
    via amberlikesowls
  • 13
    dt641 as someone that lived with in-laws, it's a bad idea. they'll be parenting your kids, doing sh you tell them not to do etc..... and it's worse if they aren't planning on paying the bills.
    via dt641
  • 14
    LLD615 It sounds like you guys may have a communication problem if you were already submitting plans and she thought there would be five extra rooms and she already told five extra people they could move in. It's not like she said one or two people could come visit. Five people moving in and your didn't even know?
    via LLD615
  • 15
    iwishiwasjosiesmom Your problem is not the house.
    via iwishiwasjosiesmom
  • 16
    Strong Storm 2167 Solution. 1. Divorce. 2. Sell both parcels of land so you both are no longer on the titles.
    via Strong_Storm_2167
  • 17
    3. When your divorce is finalised. With your half of the money from the sale of the land. Buy your own property with the title in your own name and get a house.
    via Strong_Storm_2167
  • 18
    Your children and you live in that house. Your ex wife can find her own land and build her own house or rent for when she co parents with her family. Have custody of the kids. until she can provide her own place.
    via Strong_Storm_2167
  • 19
    shigui18 And be glad you haven't built the house yet.
    via shigui18

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