'No ring, no wife duties': Mom Bans Son’s Girlfriend After She Treats Family Dinners Like Her Personal Restaurant, Offering No Help

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    WIBTA to ban my sons girlfriend from my house
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    My(52f) son(22m) has started bringing his girlfriend over a little over a month ago. The first time he brought her over I took it quite formally and cooked up a feast but it soon became obvious it's becoming a daily thing and not just a one time formal thing.
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    The first meeting she came quite a bit late and the food was cold by the time she came. No pardons or anything and when we were done everyone helped to pack up. And we thought she
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    would kind of get the notion but since it was her first time here we didn't say anything. As for deserts I like to do this thing example for cupcake I will prepare the icing and everyone would gather and decorate their
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    desert but she made it quite clear from the get go she wasn't interested in it and stuff. So for basically the last month she's almost here daily and she would request for specific dishes with no thanks and stuff. My
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    other son(17m) has also verbally called him out on her not contributing anything gently but she said something around the lines of "no ring, no wife duties". I don't see this as a wife duty? I would do this for my friends hangout and everyone in my
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    house put a hand in. My daughters, my husband and my sons. So today when my son told me that she requested a specific meat pie for dinner I am quite done, however I don't want to
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    affect my relationship with my son over this. Especially since he really likes her a lot but I'm really considering banning her from our dinners. Edit: the reason I have such a big problem with this is because my
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    other children has brought their mates back. My eldest son and his girlfriend is living in my house actually but none of them have a problem like this. It was almost natural of them to contribute. Also I don't have a problem with
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    not wanting to decorate but it's the idea of her not joining in on family. Like movie night and everything she would just stay in the room alone, even my son was in the living room. Edit: yes it was verbally
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    communicated to her that she's expected to help out after maybe a few weeks but she replied with the "no ring, no wife duties” ideology. And no, my son isn't able to get his own place. It's expensive and you need to be
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    married to get a house. He can't just move out Edit: as for the people asking about the housing issue search up Singapore...
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    Kinsleyturner • 17h ago • So this girl you barely know is showing up daily, requesting specifics meals but not helping with prep, setting the table, participating in food rituals (decorating desserts), helping clean up, or even saying thanks? You should tell your son she needs to learn some manners and at
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    minimum won't be welcome to family meals until she learns some. Also... the nerve to request a specific meal.... Jesus - I've been with my partner for 12 years and only ever requested something from my in- laws when they've wanted to cook me like a birthday dinner and they asked ME what I wanted.... 16K ○ Reply
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    juniperginandtonic • 17h ago • Have a chat with your son. Ask him if he is happy with how his girlfriend is treating the family dinners as a restaurant. Maybe set some guidelines of "max 3 x times per week, must assist with washing up or setting the table. What's on the menu is the menu and you make this menu based on what's on special, in season etc. You could even start
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    doing a rota of kids' take turns in cooking a meal once a week to set themselves up for living on their own and this includes your son and his girlfriend making dinner.one night a week. ◇ 3.4K ○ Reply
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    • Here IGuess 17h ago NTA • But 1st, stop acting like her caterer &/or personal chef. Unless she has a food allergy, don't make what she requests. Even then, she can be responsible for bringing her own sometimes food if it's that big of an issue. She really seems to be just leeching off of you Make what you'd make anyway. She can eat what's available or not. She can reheat her
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    food or eat it cold instead of inconveniencing an entire group. The cupcake thing sounds dumb on her part bc that's part of a group activity & partially meant for fun for everyone. The no wife duties should only be applying to their things done between them (unless of course your son never does anything to help or participate either at your house.)
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    The biggest thing is why is your son okay with entire rest of his family being treated this way by someone? That's your real problem. 1.7K ○ Reply
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