Couple Renovates Ungrateful Mother-in-Law's Home and Builds Her a Shed by Hand for Free, She Sells Upgraded House Instead of Moving In

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 21, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Welcome, internet gossipers. We have all likely gone above-and-beyond before for a loved one without expecting anything in return. Perhaps you paid for a good chunk of your child's wedding, made yourself available at the drop of a hat for your sister if she needed last-minute, free babysitting, or used your artistic talents to paint a pet portrait for your cat-obsessed relative free of charge. Sometimes it feels good to do something kind for a family member with no strings attached, but the wholesome philanthropic vibes can quickly curdle when occasional favors become expected behaviors met without so much as a "thank you."

In our story today, a woman puts a lot of free labor and money into renovating her mother-in-law's new home. She and her husband even build her a shed by hand. In the end, though, the entitled and ungrateful MIL decides to sell the flipped house for a profit instead of moving in herself. Get all the details down below. 

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  • 01
    TWO TAKE r/TwoHotTakes u/TheStrsWhoListen ⚫ 1d AITA for causing my MIL to sell her new house?
    via u/TheStrsWhoListen
  • 02
    To start with some background, MIL lives in Arizona and bought a new house site unseen about an hour away from me (31F and my husband (37M) in Idaho about a year and a half ago.
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  • 03
    After closing she comes up from Arizona and is furious at the state of the house - which in all honesty isn't bad. It's mostly just cosmetic things - clean up the yard, paint the walls, redo the stained flooring, etc. My husband and I are both very handy with remodels and we offered to help. She calms down and agrees to stay. After a few weeks of making the hour drive out there, we've done a few
    via u/TheStrsWhoListen
  • 04
    things like removing carpet, trimming trees, cleaning the rooms from 10 years of dust build up, and sanding the kitchen cabinets for painting. Looking back on this, she never actually thanked us for any of that help. It was more like she just expected it. She still didn't feel like the place was fit to live in, despite again just knowing it was only cosmetic work it needed.
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  • 05
    About a year ago - my FIL (divorced from MIL and remarried to step MIL for 16 years) was diagnosed with ALS. Husband and I shift gears to start helping FIL and step MIL with a bunch of remodeling to accommodate a wheel chair. One of the things FIL asked us to help with was to build a SheShed for step MIL. FIL passed about 3 months ago. It was incredibly hard on my husband and step MIL as it was not an easy passing.
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  • 06
    During this time, we obviously had not worked on MIL's house and she was back in Arizona finishing up her job before retiring anyways. She retired a couple weeks after FIL passed and came back up to stay with us for about 5 weeks - again not feeling like the new house was livable. Husband is tense during this time - really just kind of angry at everything and MIL kept making negative comments about FIL and step MIL - all of which I tried to shield my husband from as best I could. I was playing r
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  • 07
    Now in the last 3 months we have been trying to finish up the she shed - flooring, skylights, drywall, the works. While also working on our own bathroom remodel due to a leak we had 2 months ago. I could tell MIL has not been happy with the time we've been spending at step MIL's place and not at hers.
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  • 08
    MIL came up again on Monday and again stayed with us with the intention of getting the new house in a condition for her to move in. Husband and I were putting the finishing touches on the SheShed on monday/Tuesday and told her we would we completely free to work on her place after this week. TBH- we really weren't paying her the level of attention we normally do since we were both so busy with work and getting the shed done.
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  • 09
    Yesterday I was making lunch and she came in and wanted to chat with me. She made a few comments about us helping "that women" (referring to step MIL) and how needy she must be, and how her mom (husband gma) was blaming my husband for allowing MIL to buy a house that needed too much work and how we didnt have time to help her. I snapped. She's made these comments a lot before and I brushed them off - so I'm not sure why they bothered me so much this time. I told her that
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  • 10
    husband and I are doing our best to help everyone we care about- including step MIL. And I told her that SHE was the one who decided to buy that new house site unseen despite my husband recommending against it and she should be taking accountability for her choices and not putting them on her son. I also stated that there was plenty of "neediness" going around and that step MIL wasn't
    via u/TheStrsWhoListen
  • 11
    the only one this might have been the a h le part as I could tell she wasnt happy that I was basically accusing her of being needy too. But MIL decided to immediately pack her bags and leave. I did apologize and I told her she didn't have to go. She said she did and we could talk to her again after we have time and are done with all our projects and "that woman".
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  • 12
    She texted today to say she is emptying the new house and will be selling it. Which is honestly fine by me considering it's less work for us. But part of me feels like an a h le for snapping yesterday and causing this rash decision. Part of me also feels guilty for not getting her house ready sooner but then another part of me is frustrated that she
    via u/TheStrsWhoListen
  • 13
    couldn't just get over the need for fresh paint on the walls or do it herself if she needed it so badly. Painted walls to make a space "livable" just doesn't seem as necessary as a wheel chair ramp or a promise to a man to help him finish a project for his wife. Though I could see where she felt pushed aside because of this. So, AITA? ۵ 1,200 179
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  • 14
    mynamecouldbesam. 1d 100% NTA Why can't she make her own house liveable? Is she not a fully grown adult? My mother is 78. When she wants changes made to her house, she hires someone. Because it's her responsibility. If we can help, we do. But it's never on us to do her housework. Reply 1.4k
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  • 15
    LowBalance4404 • 1d Exactly. I have to make sure my 82 year old mom doesn't get on the ladder anymore to paint ceilings. 347
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  • 16
    AnSplanc⚫ 1d At 80 years old and with a back brace on, my grandfather was on the roof of the house, cleaning the chimney. I happened to call when he was up there and told him to get down before he wrecked himself completely! We had to talk him into hiring someone to do it for him. He was still doing DIY at home in his 90s ... Д 165
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  • 17
    Low-Salamander4455 • 1d My mother will be 80 next month. She painted her bedroom last week. ... ← 18
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  • 18
    Inevitable-tragedy • 1d This woman essentially just flipped a house with free labor from her adult child and his wife. 500 17 ♡
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  • 19
    mtngrl60 1d That's what I thought as well. I'm 64 and still do my remodeling stuff. I mean... I'm renting right now... But when I had to leave my last place to go take care of my dad with Alzheimer's, it looked amazing.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 20
    It was in historic building with original hardwood floors. I painted everything because I had been there for three years. Floors were waxed. I repaired the screens because I have cats. I don't know what's wrong with this lady. She just sounds entitled. ↑ 27
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 21
    NTA BeMandalorTomad⚫ 1d The level of selfishness she achieved floors me. Prioritising her own cosmetic house repairs above caring for her dying ex husband and his grieving widows is deplorable. The least she could have done was thank you for your hard work. I'm glad for you that she's no longer planning on being just an hour away. That's much too close. Reply 155
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  • 22
    CaptainBaoBao • 1d She botched and tried to blame someone else. She searched a scapegoat for months and finally found it you are not at her service alone. Stop blaming yourself. She never wanted that house. Reply 231
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  • 23
    IndySkyes. 1d Does your mil often make rash/ impulsive decisions or is there something going on with her Reply Q 16
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  • 24
    TheStrsWhoListen OP 1d That's a good question - my husband and I were actually talking about this today. She does have a tendency to make rash decisions but not usually this big. Usually she just spends too much money on random things she sees on TV. She has been having some health issues over the last couple years and we thought that was likely why she made the first rash decision to buy the house to be closer to us. ... 16
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  • 25
    LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa- • 1d NTA. Your MIL is looking for attention, specifically from your husband. She doesn't care that he's grieving his father, only that her house isn't the priority. ... Reply 9 3
    via u/LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa
  • 26
    mphflame 1d NTA. So sorry for your loss. You did and prioritized what was needed. MIL couldn't even be grateful for what you accomplished. She really needed to get in there and do some of the work, too. However, she sounds a tad entitled. Reply Ŵ7 ♡
    via u/mphflame
  • 27
    Quaint Sophie • 1d NTA. You and your husband have done your best during a tough time, prioritizing urgent needs like FIL's care and step MIL's support. MIL's expectations and comments were unfair, and snapping was a human reaction. Her choice to sell the house is her decision, not your fault. ... Reply Ŵ 6 ♡ Д
    via u/Quaint_Sophie
  • 28
    cozkim. 1d Truth is she really didn't want to move there, and she was using the house, and your time with her ex's wife, as an excuse not to move. Now she can play the victim and do what she really wants Without taking any responsibility for her her choices. It amazes me that people get to be that age haven't developed any accountability You did your husband and yourself a great favor. Don't feel guilty, please. Reply ↑ 6 ♡
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  • 29
    GoAskAlice • 1d Also she got to flip a house without doing any work or spending any money. Personally, I'd be suing for half the profit. ← & û 3 +38
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  • 30
    janshell . 1d NTA!!! You and your hubby are so amazing for doing all that work! I wish I were that handy too! Your MIL is a miserable person, sometimes you just have to ignore negativity. I know you feel badly for snapping but perhaps it needed to be said. You did apologize, maybe she will take some accountability eventually. She is selling the house now so maybe she may get a profit from the work you did ... ← Reply ↑ 5 ♡ 53
    via u/janshell

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