Woman Rethinks New Marriage After She Is Expected to be Free Maid and Nanny to Her New Husband’s Son, ‘Take care of your own kid for once!’

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    TWO TAKE r/TwoHotTakes u/Ambitious_Repeat_383. 2d AITA for telling my husband to leave me alone and take care of his kid for once. Listener Write In
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    | 32f and married to V 33M. He has a son from a previous marriage Z 9M. It's important to note that V is an only child to a single mom. We recently bought a house. While in the process, V & I both worked 2 jobs. His were 2 full time, mine was a full time and part time because I'm a teacher but i still worled 30 to 30 hours per week. My MIL did a lot of the heavy lifting with Z while we were working toward the house. After we bought it, Z expressed that he wanted to live with us full time. I was
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    switch schools if he lived with us. In March, I quit my part-time job because that was the deal. We want to try for a baby, and I couldn't find the energy to go to appointments to get help if I'm always working. A few weeks after, V lost one of his jobs. After a couple of weeks, we had a conversation about me finding another part-time job. He said we currently were pressed for cash, considering we had a new house and needed to fill it. So I sucked it up and got another part-time job. It pays mor
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    work. I never see him put in any applications or anything. During the summer, I worked around V & Zs schedules. I made sure to do activities with Z, read and reinforce chores. I was home most of the time caring for the house V &Z. Now that school is back in, I'm starting to be exhausted again. I come home at night && want to go straight to bed nut home work has to be checked, dishes, lunches, etc. V doesn't handle any of Zs school work because "he doesn't have the patience" his exact words. "You
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    out in my class, and I have 26 students. So we were all miserable at 230. I came home threw dinner together, showered, and laid down. I gave Z directions from the bed, and at 830, I asked V to put him to sleep, which just means he needs to turn the TV off and the night lights on. He acted like he couldn't be bothered. He asked why I couldn't. I responded that I've been doing it all summer." And it wouldn't kill you to do it one night because it is YOUR kid. I deserve one night to be left alone f
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    Edit [fixed grammar errors] The two jobs were to save for the down payment because we weren't sure what we were going to get approved for and how much we were going to put down. We ended up having to use all of what we saved up because we could only get an FHA loan, and they wanted 20% down. Plus, they have PMI added to the loan, and we can't refinance to try and take it off and lower the payment. To me, money isn't tight. We have all of our bills paid and plenty to spare, so I'm not sure why he
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    I've talked to his mom earlier today, and she feels the same way that I do. Lately, he forgets that Z is his kid when she needs him to do something for him, like pick up medicine or drop something off somewhere. So I at least know I'm not crazy in viewing it that way.
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    I want to also say that this hasn't been a long time occurrence between us. It's only been within the last few months. When we rented, Z stayed with us full time until about a year ago before we bought the house. V didn't act like this before. So idk what happened within that year and a half that makes him this treatment is cool. ۵ 3,438 908
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    prairiemountainzen • 2d He has shown you that he is completely uninvested in his own child and he is completely uninterested in sharing the load when it comes to taking care of the house and his family. Do not have a baby with this man. Do not bring any more children into this situation. ... Reply 2.7k
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    Ambitious_Repeat_383 OP 2d . I've made it clear that I wasn't going to work 2 jobs and have 2 kids. I grew up raised by everyone but my parents and don't want that for my kid. ... 1.2k
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    Ok-Repeat8069 • 2d Right now you're working two jobs and taking care of two children, for all intents and purposes. So he knows that's not a boundary you'll be firm on. He has walked all over you with so little resistance that you're in here worrying that you went too far by speaking sharply when he couldn't be bothered to flip a light switch.
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    Currently, he has no motivation to change. You could create motivation by telling him either he gets off his and raises his own child or you walk, but consider this: your exhaustion and unhappiness are not motivation enough for him. He sees you worn down and miserable and is fine with that. I would not want to normalize that kind of model of a relationship for my children, but that's what you're going to do if you stay. 11k
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    shammy_dammy • 2d He married a nanny. How convenient for him. Reply 2.9k
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    Sugarpuff_Karma • 2d Yet you want to procreate with him? How do you think that will be? How will you afford a child when you can't afford to live currently? Ignoring the wood for the trees. ... Reply 1.1k
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    bill-mcneal-on-crack • 2d so he won't take care of his kid. and you wanna have another with him? .....why?? Reply 661
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    [deleted] .2d Why are you married to this man? Reply 149
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    Ambitious_Repeat_383 OP.2d He honestly has only been this way the past few months. That's what's the most frustrating. If it had been before marriage RED FLAG. But it started recently. 85
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    tekflower 2d . He waited until you bought a house so you would be less likely to leave. Lots of bad actors only show their true colors once they think they have you trapped. 112
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    murphy2345678 • 2d NTA. Stop doing everything. Just stop. When you get home go to bed. If V can't take care of his child at all then he needs to go live at his mom again. Reply 105
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    SmartFX2001 • 2d Do you think your SO will behave any better with He's showing you who he is. your child? For your own sake, please pay attention! Reply 60 ↓

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