16-year-old Chooses Grandparents Over Parents to Accompany Ceremony, Leading to Family Dispute When Parents Find Out

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    r/AITAH 23 hr. ago Aware-Vermicelli-947 AITA for inviting my grandparents to see me get an award but not my parents and stepparents?
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    My parents divorced when I (16m) was 4. I don't know why or what their marriage was like. What I know is their divorce has been very competitive since they remarried other people. My dad's been married to Wendy since | was 6 and my mom's been married to Sam since I was 7. I have half siblings in both houses, 3 in my mom's and 2 in my dad's.
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    There's also Sam's recently discovered son who's 18. He had no idea he existed until a couple of months ago.
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    I love my parents. I don't like them, but I love them. I don't hate my stepparents. Don't feel the same for them as I do my parents but I have friends with worse stepparents. Neither "set" as in mom/stepdad or dad/stepmom feels like my collective parents and the four together don't either. Mom and
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    dad are but sometimes I feel less like their kid and more like a pawn or something. I'm always. asked what it's like at the other parents house, even now. Do I have fun there, do they do x, does this happen, etc. Then I'll get asked if I like being there. And normally I'll be asked would I rather live with the asking parent
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    or the asked about parent. I also get questions about isn't Wendy better than mom at this or isn't Sam doing this way more than dad. My stepparents are always watching how I interact with my other stepparent and both have accused me of being more affectionate with the other. I also get watched on if I'm closer to my
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    mom's other kids or my dad's other kids. When they're in the same room sometimes they argue over who my "actual parents" are.
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    My mom's side of the family are... a lot like the parents and stepparents in my life. They talk about how I should be a momma's boy and how they're surprised I didn't choose to live with mom and Sam more.
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    My dad's an only child but his parents? Best support I could ask for. They let me vent about all four "parents" and they have spoken up for me with both mom and dad before. They tell me all the time I don't need to pick sides and it's okay if I don't really feel great with either. They said it shouldn't be that way but it's on
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    the adults who didn't provide me with healthy environments and not on me. Whenever a debate happens over who takes me to art or game development classes or anything related to those, I call and ask my grandparents.
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    So when I was told I was winning an award for the game development class, my grandparents were my first choice to invite and they were my only choice in the end. My parents had no idea it was anything other than a typical class. My grandparents took me out to celebrate after. It took two weeks
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    until mom and Wendy noticed the photos of the awards on Facebook to realize what happened and now dad and Wendy and mom and Sam are angry I invited my grandparents instead of (one set of) them. AITA?
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    Missue-35 23h ago • Top 10% Commenter NTAH your grandparents sound like caring, supportive and wise people. Your parents sound like typical divorced/remarried adults that often behave more like children. I think you made the right decision about who
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    to invite to the award ceremony. They are the ones that always step up when you need to be driven to this extracurricular activity. I think that showing them the honor of inviting them to attend was respectful and a nice thing to do. Now, if it were your high school graduation, I might not be
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    quite so quick to agree. But, in this case I think what you did was acceptable. In the future you might consider doing your parents the courtesy of telling them beforehand what is going on and that you plan to invite just your grandparents. At 16 you are approaching adulthood and it should be
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    expected that you exhibit some independence in some areas. Things like this would be a good start. Stay close to your grandparents. They sound like good people. They've been around for a while and often have good advice to share and interesting stories to tell.
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    Morlakar 23h ago • ΝΤΑ You know why. All 4 "parents" of you suck.
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    legallychalleng... 21h ago. A real parent would be asking why you felt the need to not include them in such a special event in your life. They would be looking inward to see what they could be doing better. NTA. I'm sorry your parents are such children. I'm glad you have your grandparents.
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    Nova Veile 14h ago NTA, your grandparents sound amazing. They deserve to celebrate your achievements with you.
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    Dachshundmo... • 21h ago • Top 1% Commenter "You can be mad all that you want, but actions have consequences. For years, I've been in the middle of your sick tug of war. It's not about being my parents and loving and supporting me. It's about beating each other. I'm nearly an adult.
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    I'm old enough to know how unhealthy this is and that's on you for creating this situation where I don't want my parents because I know they don't care about me the way they are supposed to, just being 'better' than each other. Expect that I choose to celebrate and spend my life with people
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    who actually love and support me. Not people who see me as a pawn."

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