7-year-old nephew throws dinner plate at aunt because he can't use his tablet after 8 PM, mom berates her for refusing to babysit thereafter: 'She suggested I need to educate myself on modern parenting'

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    AITAH for telling my sister i won't babysit her kids anymore after one of them throwed dinner plate into me for refusing giving tablet in bed time?
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    Last weekend, my sister asked me to babysit her two kids (7M and 4F) while she went to a friend's birthday party. I agreed, no problem. I've always been the 'cool aunt' and love spending time with them. Everything was fine until bedtime. Her 7-year-old didn't want to go to bed and kept asking for his tablet, which my sister said he wasn't allowed to use after 8 PM. When I enforced that, he got upset and threw a full- blown tantrum, including throwing his dinner plate into me, leaving a massive m
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    The next morning, my sister came home, and instead of thanking me, she berated me for not letting her son 'self-soothe' by using his tablet, claiming I made things harder for myself and for her later. She even suggested I need to 'educate myself on modern parenting.' I was hurt and told her that if she's going to criticize me for following her original instructions and not letting her son walk all over me, then maybe she should find someone else to babysit next time. She called me dramatic and s
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    saintandvillian NTA. You were right. Never babysit a kid whose parents set you up for failure by changing their rules after the fact to make you seem like the bad guy.
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    didthefabrictear Yep. And also, a seven year old who is throwing a tantrum cause they can't have their tablet - is a 7 year old whose parents usually give in to their tantrums. Guarantee it. A three year old throwing things to get their way is one thing a seven year old doing it is learned behaviour that gets them their desired outcome usually.
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    Moon_Ray_77 A 7yr old still throwing tantrums to get their way WAS the 3yr old that got away with it.
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    didthefabrictear 100%. Toddlers are wild and you expect some crazy as you teach them how to regulate their emotions. But a 7 year old hurling plates is a toddler whose tantrums were given in to every time. Expecting anyone else to babysit your kids, if you chose to parent in a way that produces a volatile seven year old - is nuts.
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    Canid_Rose One thing I've learned working in an elementary school is the value of a cheerful, but unshakable "nope!" in response to an unreasonable request. Especially if that request involves tablets. Hate the things, too many kids these days go rabid at the very implication of them being at all accessible. Probably due to too many parents using them as pacifiers. Which is unfortunate because excessive screen time is bad for brain development, especially in the infant/toddler stages.
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    swbarnes2 Letting kids "self-soothe" with a tablet before bedtime is a terrible idea. Giving in to that behavior is what will cause long term problems. 7 year olds should have better ways of handling their disappointment than throwing things.
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    Dismal Proof_2951 It's already causing problems. Throwing a plate when told no is a completely inappropriate response for a seven year old, especially when it escalates this quickly. A crying tantrum or getting a bit upset can be reasonable sometimes, but even then would be a bit much. If a good bedtime routine was established already, with a more appropriate self-soothing strategy, this wouldn't be a problem.
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    Certain_Union7793 Exactly where my mind went. My kids are feral when they've had too much screen time and I can't fathom giving a 7 year old a blue screen emitting tool to self soothe!
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    vanastalem This is why it's recommended that 7 years old have a max of 2 hours of screen time per day. Children shouldn't be glued to screens. They should be playing with dolls, Legos, etc... not just watching stuff.
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    Turbulent-Lie-1366 NTA. You did your sister a favor by babysitting her kids, and you even followed her instructions regarding the tablet rule. Her son's reaction, while extreme, wasn't your fault-you enforced the boundaries she set. It's unreasonable for her to criticize you for following her own rules, especially after her child acted out in such an aggressive way. Your response to the tantrum-staying calm, cleaning up, and getting the kids to bed—was responsible and respectful. If your sister
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    xTwilightSugar I agree. You were just following the rules your sister set, and you handled the situation responsibly. Her son's tantrum wasn't your fault, and you stayed calm while cleaning up the mess. It's unfair for her to criticize you for enforcing her own boundaries, especially when you were doing her a favor OP. NTA
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    OwnLime3744 NTA. Sister wanted you to enforce rules where she is incapable of doing so. Tell her to be a better parent, you are no longer willing to babysit for her spoiled brat.
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    ashatteredteacup 'Self soothe with a tablet' what sort of sh parenting is this? This is what screen addiction looks like, when children scream murder just because their electronic devices were removed. If my kid were this r de to my sibling, she can say bye to screen time until next year. NTA.
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    Outside-Ad1720 ΝΤΑ I have a family member whose son 'self soothes' with his tablet. He screams day and night if he doesn't have it. Won't eat without it. Won't sleep without it. We all hate being around him and he's only 3. You were lucky he didn't hurt you. Stick to your guns. It will only get worse if she doesn't start parenting.
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    Dont-Blame-Me333 NTA your sister is mooching off you. She's got a FREE babysitter but still she's trying to parentify you. You don't have your own kids, you don't need parenting lessons. SHE is the parent, it is HER job. Her kid throwing plates of food at their sitter is a sure fire way to get black-balled by every sitter in the area. Spread the word her brats are out of control & don't babysit for her anymore. Maybe after she can't get anyone to babysit, she might finally wake up.
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    NHFNCFRE "Modern parenting" suggests that children shouldn't be using screens at all. Bad parenting is when you let your kids be babysat by electronics. OP is NTA.
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    Aggravating Ring39 Nah. She berated you. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. She can stay home with her self righteous modern parenting and self soothe herself
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    say-so1986 NTA. Tantrums happen but the comment of your sister is way out of line
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    Covert Pudding NTA. Tell your sister that you aren't punishing her. You're just not finished educating yourself on modern parenting methods!
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    Alarming Paper_8357 NTA! Sister sniffing about "modern parenting" is an ungrateful parent raising a brat. If my kid threw a plate at someone, there would be significant consequences - such as no tablet for a week, and a sincere and abject apology to the babysitter. Tell her to pound rocks next time she asks.
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    Ok_Passage_6242 NTA. You followed her instructions. It seems like she may be changed some instructions, but forgot to tell you that part of your job was being psychic to be able to read her mind. When you do someone a favor and they act ungrateful, you are responding the exact correct way, which is to not do them that favor again. You're not being dramatic and she's actually being punished for a very specific reason her ungratefulness.
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    luvfolklore NTA. Aside from her child being disrespectful and horribly behaved, you followed a rule she told you to enforce?? And she'd mad at that?? Don't babysit again until she apologises, learns to respect you, and teaches her son he can't throw sh at people for not getting his way.
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    Oddly-Appeased So she berated you for following her rules? I'm guessing if you had given in she would have berated you for breaking her rules, pretty much a no-win situation here. Definitely NTA, she should find someone else to babysit next time.

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