Ex Romantics Recount the Moment They Knew Their Relationship Was Over: 'We were growing apart, not growing together'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 27, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Welcome, romantics. Hindsight is 20/20. We've all been in a relationship where, in the moment, we felt like we had truly found the one. Emotions and hormones were high, blinding us to the glaring red flags right in front of us. Only months, or even years later, after we have mourned the relationship, detached from the past, and reinvented ourselves, are we able to see just how bad the whole thing truly was. As we reflect on our failed relationships, many might be able to pinpoint the exact moment that the facade shattered — the very instance that they realized that their 'forever person' was destined to be temporary. In this heart-wrenching and far too real thread below, netizens recount the moment that they realized they would likely never recite vows and raise a family with the person they were seeing at the time. Scroll down to get in on the tea. 

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  • 01
    r/AskReddit u/ruxpin82.1h At what point did you realise she would never become your wife/he would never become your husband? 335 445
    via u/
  • 02
    florida_lmt. 1h I found a text to his friend saying he saw no future with me. We had been together 4 years and he had recently convinced me to leave my high paying job to move to a small town for his career ← Reply 785
    via u/florida_lmt
  • 03
    Vreas • 9m Man I don't get this logic. If you don't see a future why ask someone to take steps back in their path to cater to you? Just end it and do your own thing. ✓ Vote
    via u/Vreas
  • 04
    Jolly-Accountant-722 8m • Saw my ex's mother had asked if I was getting a ring for Christmas and his response was 'Oh dear God, no. No. Absolutely not. No'. Three years and we'd discussed all the future stuff. ← Vote
    via u/Jolly-Accountant-722
  • 05
    MrCrix • 1h When she asked me to bring her home fries after work. So I stopped into McDonalds and got her two large fries. I came in with them. She proceeded to take the bag from me, open it up, pull out the fries and throw them in the trash right in front of me. I was pretty shocked and asked what was wrong, "I wanted frozen fries!" then asked why I even came over. This caused me to think really hard about things in the past and there were so many other incidents like this that I just brushed o
    via u/MrCrix
  • 06
    Due-Celebration-9463 21m That's awful! You were such a great bf to her. TWO large fries?! Love that. ... G Vote
    via u/Due-Celebration-9463
  • 07
    cowPoke1822. 49m That's messed up. Already cooked fries are the best! She must have been broken not to appreciate your efforts. Vote
    via u/cowPoke1822
  • 08
    Outside-Flow-9510 • 1h When I realized I was making excuses for his behavior instead of feeling proud to call him mine. Reply 563 ↓
    via u/Outside-Flow-9510
  • 09
    WomenGotTheWorld ⚫ 1h I think especially the last part of your sentence 'instead of feeling proud to call him mine' is one more people should acknowledge. 143
    via u/WomenGotTheWorld
  • 10
    ACaffeinated Wandress 58m • I've honestly had that epiphany for a lot of friendships. That feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize how many excuses you make for their sh, and then honestly ask yourself if you could see yourself, even on a terrible day, treating someone the way they treat you. ✰ Vote
    via u/ACaffeinatedWandress
  • 11
    yakizoba • 1h when i cried about him doing nothing for my birthday or valentines day and he ignored me and watched thirst traps on tiktok as i sobbed next to him in bed. or when i asked him him why he was constantly lying to me and him replying "well there's no consequences, so..." Reply 642
    via u/yakizoba
  • 12
    idi Banashapan • 1h Wow... that's another level of low I didn't know about 6 ว 169
    via u/idiBanashapan
  • 13
    VegemiteFairy • 51m Sounds like my ex. Never celebrated any holiday or my birthday and on the last birthday my bestie was taking us out to breakfast. He was trashed by 9am and told me that I was a drama queen, not special and the only person who cared about my birthday was me. ... Vote
    via u/VegemiteFairy
  • 14
    Smirknlurking • 1h She just kept leaving town, I soon realised that it was building up to leaving permanently Reply 259
    via u/Smirknlurking
  • 15
    Ruth FloraGlow93 • 1h Had the same thing, when they choose to get away from you often it's a clear sign. 10
    via u/RuthFloraGlow93
  • 16
    DarrenEdwards • 1h When I took her to a movie that I had wanted to see for several years and the only thing she said after was, "We don't have a lot of things in common." ← Reply 259
    via u/DarrenEdwards
  • 17
    Bearded GDillahunt ⚫ 1h • Duuuude this feeling blows. I loved how much she cared about her hobbies. I wanted to know about the reality tv drama, the marketing trends she was so excited about, and loved hearing her talk about the books she was reading. I adored hearing her gush about anything because she was so joyous and it made my heart full.
    via u/BeardedGDillahunt
  • 18
    I'd talk to her about an old movie that blew my mind and she'd just zone out. When I asked why, she'd say "It's not really about you. It's just some movie." 125
    via u/BeardedGDillahunt
  • 19
    BrightGuyEli • 1h Ouch. Nothing worse than someone just not vibing with your interests. At the very least you'd hope for them to understand that its not their thing, but they can still appreciate your love for it yanno? The complete lack of that, while honest and time saving, is rough. 22
    via u/BrightGuyEli
  • 20
    DragonfruitSpare9324 • 1h He got married. (To someone else) Reply 184
    via u/DragonfruitSpare9324
  • 21
    IsoAgent ⚫ 1h Small fights started to last longer and with less provocation. And she wasn't particularly eager to make up afterwards. Basically, when she stopped trying. Reply 45
    via u/IsoAgent
  • 22
    ruxpin82 OP. 1h Pretty much how it goes. The relationship needs water AND sunlight to survive I.E. it's a 2 way street. Singular effort is the beginning of the end. 58 10 д
    via u/ruxpin82
  • 23
    lilfairybloom • 1h "I have like 20 credit cards and most are maxed out, it's fine though I'll get my husband to eventually pay them off for me or I can file for bankruptcy and get new ones." When I tell you I RAN, GOOD LORD I RAN. ... Reply 124
    via u/lilfairybloom
  • 24
    Narkus • 1h She said she didn't feel loved or supported when I had done everything in my power to love her and support her. I was so burnt out and she wasn't listening when I tried to explain that. When she ended it I just let it happen, she was mad I didn't fight to keep her. I didn't have anything left to give. Reply û 24 ♡ Q
    via u/Narkus
  • 25
    CodMain 9705 • 1h We'd been together for half a year. I was talking about pink taxes and other women-oriented social issues, just generally complaining / ranting about it since I'd written an essay on it recently. All he had to say was, "Since I'm not a woman, none of that affects me, so I don't care about." It took me another 6 months before I realised, but I think that was the moment I stopped seeing a future with him. Reply 174
    via u/CodMain
  • 26
    astory142 1h • When I realized we were no longer growing together, but apart. Д Reply 10
    via u/astory142

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