Man Refuses to Drive Entitled Coworker Home After She Begins Treating Him Like a Personal Chauffeur, In Retaliation She Spreads Rumors That He Abandoned Her Late at Night

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 8, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Welcome, gossiping goddesses! Even in the safest cities, walking home alone late at night as a woman can be anxiety-inducing. Most of us carry pepper spray in our purses, learned to arrange house keys in our hands so they stick out like Wolverine's claws, or have gotten in the habit of at least pretending to be on the phone while walking around late at night to lower the chances of being targeted by weirdos. 

The best case scenario if you do not have a car with which to go home is to get a ride from a coworker. However, if it becomes a regular thing, then the least you can do is offer to pay for gas from time to time. The worst you could do is to become so entitled to their car that they begin to feel like your personal, unpaid chauffeur — as was the case in our story today. Get all the details of this workplace drama by scrolling down. 

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  • 01
    "Then she started pushing it further. She'd ask me to make detours to pick up things for her or drop her off at places other than her home..."
    via Maridav
  • 02
    r/AITAH u/bondbro ⚫9h AITAH for refusing to keep giving my colleague lifts home after she started treating me like her personal chauffeur? Join
    via u/bondbro
  • 03
    AITA for refusing to keep giving my colleague lifts home after she started treating me like her personal chauffeur?
    via u/bondbro
  • 04
    I live in England and work as a project manager for a tech company. My job often requires late nights, and so does the job of one of my colleagues, who I'll call Emma (not her real name). We've always gotten along well, and I've been happy to help her out when I can. A couple of months ago, Emma mentioned she was nervous about taking public transport late at night after a particularly scary incident where someone followed her from the bus stop.
    via u/bondbro
  • 05
    I felt for her and offered to give her a lift home whenever we finished late, as her flat is only about 15 minutes out of my way. At first, this was fine-she was really grateful, and I was happy knowing she was getting home safe.
    via u/bondbro
  • 06
    But over time, things started to feel... off. For one, Emma began expecting the lift rather than asking. She'd linger around the office waiting for me instead of heading out, and if I tried to leave without her, she'd make comments like, "Oh, I guess chivalry really is de d."
    via u/bondbro
  • 07
    Then she started pushing it further. She'd ask me to make detours to pick up things for her or drop her off at places other than her home. For example, she once asked me to stop at a 24-hour shop so she could "grab a few essentials," which turned into a 20-minute wait in the car. Another time, she asked me to drop her at her friend's place instead of her flat, which added an extra 30 minutes to my journey.
    via u/bondbro
  • 08
    When I gently told her I couldn't keep doing this because it was adding to my already long days, she got defensive. She said I was being selfish and implied I didn't care about her safety. She even made a snide remark about how she'd "find someone who actually cared."
    via u/bondbro
  • 09
    I've now stopped offering her lifts altogether. She's been giving me the cold shoulder at work and has even told some of our colleagues that I "abandoned" her late at night. A few people have said I should've just put up with it for the sake of workplace harmony, but others agree she was taking advantage.
    via u/bondbro
  • 10
    I feel bad because I know the world isn't always safe for women, especially late at night, but I also feel like I was being taken for granted. AITAH? 1,300 ☐ 223 D
    via u/bondbro
  • 11
    Accurate Prompt_8800 . 9h No. You're NTA. You offered to help her out of genuine kindness and concern for her safety. It's clear you were trying to be supportive, and your actions went above and beyond what most colleagues would do.
    via u/Accurate_Prompt_8800
  • 12
    That's not something she's entitled to; it's a favour you extended out of goodwill, and you have every right to withdraw it at your discretion. She's shifted from being grateful to treating your kindness as an obligation. Expecting lifts without asking, making snide comments like "chivalry is de d," and asking for unnecessary detours shows a complete lack of respect for your time and boundaries, all serious red flags...
    via u/Accurate_Prompt_8800
  • 13
    Ultimately, Emma's safety is her responsibility not yours. She should explore other options to ensure she has safe travels to and from work. It's not your duty to completely shoulder that burden. If your colleagues want workplace harmony, they should offer to be her chauffer instead! ← Reply 916
    via u/Accurate_Prompt_8800
  • 14
    Grandmapatty64 • 8h For real, somebody else could give her a ride if they are that worried about it. I don't know how anybody could point the finger at OP anyways because she's the one that started dragging other members of the staff into this. OP it might be time for you to go talk to your supervisor about what's going on before it gets out of hand. You don't want her telling her story her way and then everybody vilifying you around the office. It makes me think of one of my favorite sayings. N
    via u/Grandmapatty64
  • 15
    Accurate Prompt_8800 Exactly this. 8h While some colleagues may think you should've "put up with it," your workplace relationships shouldn't come at the expense of your personal time, energy, and mental health. Better to bring this up to a supervisor / HR and nip it in the bud quickly. ← û 74
    via u/Accurate_Prompt_8800
  • 16
    qlohengrin 9h • NTA. Tell those telling you to put up with it that no one's stopping them from chauffeuring her around. Reply 120
    via u/qlohengrin
  • 17
    Good_Ad6336 • 9h NTA. If you can I would go to HR and file a complaint. The coworker is talking about you in a negative light to influence how others interact with you. That's a hostile workplace environment. Also, if she is so concerned about her safety why doesn't she put a request in to restructure her schedule so she doesn't work late? Maybe someone should point this out to HR... Reply 55
    via u/Good_Ad6336
  • 18
    Basic Rabbit4 • 9h Nta. She's using you like a taxi. But you've also got to learn to say no much sooner. The first time she waited around for you, you should have shot it down. "I don't mind taking you home when we are both here late as a once in awhile thing, but you are too far out of my way for it to become a regular thing". Reply 49
    via u/BasicRabbit4
  • 19
    Bsnake12070826 · 8h NTA I used to take a co-worker home, it turned into him expecting a ride and no longer asking. I got mad when he told a new guy that I'll give him a ride home without asking, he just assumed I'll do it. Then new guy lied about how far he lived. Some people will take your kindness and abuse it Reply 38 ♡
    via u/Bsnake12070826
  • 20
    gilbert10ba 9h Absolutely, NTA. If she's that worried about taking public transit, she can buy her own car. If she can't afford it, then she can learn humility and how to be grateful for someone that does her a favour. Reply û 67 ♡
    via u/bondbro
  • 21
    chaingun_samurai • 8h She even made a snide remark about how she'd "find someone who actually cared." "Cool. You can start today." Reply 33
    via u/chaingun_samurai
  • 22
    Dull-Crew1428 • 8h she can get a taxi uber or lift home then. i noticed she never gave you money for your gas and time to do this either Reply 223
    via u/Dull-Crew1428

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terrible coworkers single rumors toxic Female Empowerment coworkers reddit story relationships petty love workplace entitled reddit thread red flag Reddit women
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