25 Hilarious Motherhood Tweets That Capture the Trials and Tribulations of Raising Tykes and Tots (December 12, 2024)

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  • 01
    Mom Transparenting @momtransparent1 How much time passes from the minute I drop kids at school until I pick them up 7 hrs later: approx 37 min How much time passes from the minute I pick them up from school until they finally fall asleep that night: exactly 19 days, 22 hours, 49 minutes and 37 seconds
  • 02
    Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife I call today Takeout Friday because | don't want to cook so we order food. *Not to be confused with Takeout Monday & Takeout Wednesday when I also don't want to cook so we order food.
  • 03
    Jessie @mommajessiec *can't find whisk* BEFORE KIDS: Looks in drawer, dishwasher, sink AFTER KIDS: Looks in drawer, dishwasher, sink, backpacks, toy bins, under couches, bathroom, car, library lost-n-found, dryer, car, yard, attic, neighbor's house... O
  • 04
    Jessie @mommajessiec My daughter once summarized a 10 minute story in 4 hours.
  • 05
    Arianna Bradford @thearibradford I love when I mention getting frustrated with my kids and someone's like "have you tried TALKING to your kids?" Omg thank you you visionary and here I've been communicating with charades silly me ...
  • 06
    Kids_kubed I+I @Kids_kubed 7: I'm hungry Me: We have bananas, apples, peaches, grapes and strawberries 7: I'll take an orange Me: 11:19 AM Sep 20, 2020 291 87 people are Tweeting about this
  • 07
    disaster SPICY The Spicy Disaster Mama MAMA @spicydisasterma My husband sent me a text asking what happened to our savings account so I sent him back a picture of our kids.
  • 08
    Humorandwine @humorandwine Please do not judge me based on the contents of my kids lunch boxes. I know they just throw the healthy stuff away. I will make them eat the healthy stuff at home.
  • 09
    Cynical Parent Cynical Parent @cynicalparent You've hit max parenthood when you catch yourself getting excited about "sleeping in" until 7am.
  • 10
    Ramblin Mama @ramblinma I didn't realize 80% of song lyrics were inappropriate until I had to listen to them in the car with my kids.
  • 11
    MomTransparenting @momtransparent1 Sometimes a mother's love looks a lot like a messy house, a sink full of dishes, laundry baskets piled up or cereal for dinner because mom's sanity matters too.
  • 12
    questionable mom B thequestionablemom @questionablemom Booking an appointment as a mom: 1. Check the rest of the family's schedule 2. Check all the babysitters schedules 3. Realize numbers 1 and 2 only allow for two specific dates and times 4. Make the appt 5. Reschedule the day before because something came up 6. Repeat forever
  • 13
    Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_ I'm not the "Get down from there sweetheart" kind of mom. I'm more of a " are you doing?! Do you want to break your neck?!" kind of mom
  • 14
    Crockett @CrockettForReal The CDC now recommends that the kids stay the weekend at grandmas . 7:08 PM 5/14/21 Twitter for iPhone .
  • 15
    MacgyveringMom22 @MacgyveringM22 As a child, I always thought my parents were just being strict by @macgyveringmom22 enforcing early bedtimes. Now I know it's because they were just ready for a break.
  • 16
    Becky Vieira | Witty Otter @wittyotter_ My son just came to me and and said he was hungry. Then he asked, "what are we ordering for dinner tonight?" And that should tell you everything you need to know about me as a homemaker.
  • 17
    Maryfairyboberry @MaryJustice86 My son had to pick his towel up off the @maryfairyboberry floor today. Apparently he's forced to do everything around here.
  • 18
    momwithaboysname @momwithaboysna1 People say my daughter is exactly like IG: @MOMWITHABOYSNAME me, and so I'd like to issue an official apology to my mother because parenting a 2y/o version of myself is TERRIBLE
  • 19
    Alexandra Fisher @alexandrafishr Diamonds may be a girl's best friend. But sleep is a mom's best friend.
  • 20
    I'M NOT Tma HOT MESS Spicy DISASTER The Spicy Disaster Mama @spicydisasterma Feel guilty about throwing your kids artwork away? Just gift it to a grandparent and make them do it. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

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