Mansplainer legal advisor quotes female's lawyer's own work to her without knowing, gets angry when she reveals the truth: 'He explained all of it to me in details, like I was a first year law student'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 17, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Mansplaining is a new-ish term for a phenomenon that's been happening I'm sure since the dawn of time. A woman trots along, minding her business, engaging in an activity she probably knows a thing or two about. Then bam, there's a man beside her saying, "Well, actually…" or "You should really try…" or "Common mistake but…" Even if they're well-intentioned, it can come across as condescending, patronizing, and well, just plain annoying. And sometimes they're even proven wrong. 

You'd be hard-pressed to find an adult woman who hasn't at some point in her life faced the brunt end of a mansplaining. But it doesn't usually have such a satisfying ending as this one. Women who have experienced mansplaining have dreamed of the moment that this Redditor got to live through in real-time, at a bar with her friends. Read on for the story and see just how epically she was able to shut him down. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10441788928
    via Unsplash+ (Vinicius "amnx" Amano)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? I don't normally post on reddit so please forgive me if I do this wrong.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 03
    I (33f) work in a very small, technical, specific, male dominated field. I won't give too much information on it as I think you could easily find my identity if I did, but let's just say it's a sub category of law.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 04
    I graduated 9 years ago (for anyone wondering, the system in my country is different than in the US so I only studied for 5 years), and am now a lawyer as well as a researcher. I published some work here and there but nothing too major, and no one outside of that field knows my work.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 05
    Yesterday I went to a bar with a couple of friends who introduced me to one of their friends who works in the same field as me. I was pretty excited to meet him because it's rare to meet people who work in that field. He doesn't exactly do the same thing as I do, he's not a lawyer but a legal advisor, but we work on the same topics. So naturally we started talking about our work.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 06
    At one point we were discussing a point on which we had different opinions, so I explained mine to him and he replied by saying that my opinion was based on nothing while his was based on the work of a professional (you guessed it, me). He basically started explaining my work to me, but in a
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 07
    completely wrong way and missed all of my points. I asked him if he was sure that that was what the author meant and he said that he was because it was "pretty simple actually". For another good 20 minutes he explained all of it to me in details, like I was a first year law student. I didn't say anything because it was pretty funny to watch him say things that were completely wrong with so much confidence.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 08
    After that the topic changed and the night went on, but at the end of the night right before leaving I decided to tell him that I was actually the person that wrote the work he had quoted, and that he hadn't really understood it. He reacted very badly and got angry, and he told me that I had manipulated him to humiliate him. He yelled at me for not saying it was my work at the beginning. I simply replied that he had embarrassed himself and left.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 09
    I woke up this morning to texts from my friends saying I was wrong for causing drama and tension and that I could've been nicer to their friend. I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong there. I mean yes, I could've told him right away, but is it that big of a deal that I didn't? I'm not exactly sure. AITA?
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
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    Edit: I forgot to make this clear and maybe it's a bit of a misunderstanding, but both conversations happened only between the two of us. We were the only ones talking about our work and our friends also weren't really there when I told him that I was the author. So it's not like I publicly humiliated him. The only thing "embarrassing" for him here. is that a woman seemed smarter than him, and I think that's what ge had an issue with.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 11
    VerbingNoun413 • 3h ago NTA This is hilarious. •
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    Miserable_Bag_4746 OP • 3h ago • That's how I felt the whole night! Honestly I was laughing so hard inside I didn't expect him to take it that way
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  • 13
    YarnPenguin • 2h ago • This is as good as that man on twitter that tried to tell Margaret Atwood which religious doctrine the Handmaid's Tale was a critique of
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 14
    According-Adde... 3h ago. NTA He f ed around, found out. He's just p ed as a small man that realised he was outclassed and potentially made some massive career errors. Being plain wrong, to start with, and then being enough of a misogynist to behave like that without realising you were the author.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 15
    You took the trash out. He probably behaves like this in the office too, so taking him down a peg probably hit too hard.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 16
    Constant-Goat-2... 3h ago. • NTA. A decent person would just laugh and apologize admitting he really must've looked funny to you, and then respecfully ask to explain the points he did not get. No matter how late you revealed the truth, and even if you said
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 17
    that a little bit bitter - any sane, healthily confident person would apologize for misinterpreting your text. He could continue argueing, but how he reacted was not normal. You're ok.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 18
    Opening-Worker... . 3h ago • NTA He's the Twice. Maybe three times. Firstly for mansplaining. Second for kicking off. And possibly third for whining to your friend.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 19
    You merely listened politely, and gave him enough rope to hang himself. Not your fault he took it.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 20
    WomanInQuestion • 3h ago NTA - "How dare you let our friend behave like himself in public! You were supposed to help him cover up his ignorance!" Perhaps they are angry and feel foolish because of what their association with him says about them?
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 21
    Mindless_Behavi... • 2h ago. NTA. The fact that he said your opinion was based on nothing was what did it. He didn't inquire about how you came to that conclusion and then quoted your published work. LMAO. He thought he sounded smart and overestimated his brain power. Instead of humbling. himself, he lashed out. Just yuck.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 22
    "Stupid is as stupid does." · F. Gump My Daddy taught me "I don't talk stupid." This story gave a very good example of why not to engage those who speak it fluently.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 23
    Bold-Belle2 • 3h ago • NTA. I love it when people do this, its hilarious. You also did the right thing not to tell him until later; it would have humiliated him regardless, so its better to wait.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 24
    Secretly Twisted • 3h ago. NTA and I think you are a legend for telling him that he had embarrassed himself! :D
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 25
    healingadept 3h ago . . NTA. He was a real j And your "friends" are not your friends if they failed to see he plagiarised your work, completely misunderstood it, and made a fool out of himself, and you were just being kind and pointing out he got it all wrong.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 26
    His taking it poorly is all on him. But your friends defending him and taking his side is something I would be wary of.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 27
    Low-Win-4236 3h ago • NTA • This man is just ignorant and clearly thinks he can get away with it. It's more funny than anything.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746
  • 28
    Liss78 3h ago . NTA How dare you not try to stop him from making himself look like a fool? /S I mean he really wanted to one up you. His intentions were not good. You just sat back and let him jump headlong into looking a fool.
    via u/Miserable_Bag_4746

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