30-year-old woman bakes cake for friend's birthday party, throws tantrum when one of the guests accepts a slice from her instead of letting her have it: 'She knows I took her slice and threw it away to spite her'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 16, 2024 1:00 PM EST

I'm not exactly the most social person in the world, but even I can admit that one of the most fun parts of having friends is the opportunity to do nice things for others. A kind gesture can be a rewarding exercise for everybody involved, but unfortunately, there are many people out there who only do so under certain conditions. If these don't get met, things can get awkward.

This is something that one man fell foul of when he attended a friend's birthday party. The girlfriend of one of his other friends had baked a birthday cake, which she cut into eight slices although there were nine guests. When she gave out the last slice of cake and he accepted despite not liking the flavor that much, she and her boyfriend accused him of being selfish and not allowing her to try her own baking. Needless to say, the whole situation left more than just this unwitting guest scratching their heads.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10442833152
    via Ana Tavares

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for accepting cake at my friend's birthday party?
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 03
    So this is a bit of a weird one. I (41M) was at a friend's birthday party on the weekend just past. There were 9 of us at the party including the birthday boy (which is surprisingly relevant). All fake names from here on out. Amy (30ish F), one of the guests, baked a cake for the birthday boy. After the relevant party traditions of singing the birthday song, and the hip- hip-hooraying that happens after the birthday song here in Australia, I went back to talking to one of my friends when Amy cam
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 04
    About 45 minutes ago, Steven (30ish M), Amy's partner, sent me a series of angry texts (8am on a Monday morning is really not the best time to receive angry texts) saying how Amy spent last night crying about how she didn't get to eat any of her cake and that I took a slice of it only to throw it away and deprive her of her own cake, and that she only cut 8 slices since she knows I don't like coconut, but I took her slice and threw it away to spite her. I replied, "Why did she even offer me any
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 05
    I forwarded the message to my other friends that were there, and most of them have left me on read so far, except one who responded with a thumbs down emoji, and another who hasn't seen it yet (as of this writing). The fact that no one's responding to me is making me worry that I might have been the a h le here.
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 06
    CrinklyPacket NTA. What a bizarre situation. You cut enough cake for everyone there (including yourself), and don't hand cake to people if you're relying on them turning it down so you can eat it yourself. You did the right thing by accepting it, it would have been more ride to decline. She seems weird as she's making this a much bigger issue than it is.
    via CrinklyPacket
  • 07
    LeoHyuuga OP I mean, she expected me to decline, so was there just no winning here?
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 08
    greenhouse5 Then she would have cried that you refused the cake. She sounds like a drama queen. If your friends think you are the AH here, they aren't friends. You did nothing wrong. If she knows you don't like coconut, then she should have told you it had coconut in it.
    via greenhouse5
  • 09
    aLittle TooEverything Wait wait wait.... so Steven... her partner.... ATE CAKE and didn't give her any? And then he messaged you about not liking the cake that was offered to you? Amy and Steven are perfect for each other hahahahahaha NTA PS. Coconut is delicious, you're wrong there.
    via aLittleTooEverything
  • 10
    LeoHyuuga OP I like most coconut things except desiccated coconut. I really love coconut water and the flesh of young coconut; it's really refreshing. Desiccated coconut just tastes of dust and sadness.
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 11
    Aylauria I'd text the group: I apologize to the group. I didn't realize Amy had made a cake she knew I wouldn't eat. I'm not a mind reader. Next time, Amy should just tell me up front that I'm not welcome to cake, instead of cutting and handing me a piece I didn't even ask for. Amy is a real piece of work. NTA
    via Aylauria
  • 12
    TheMrEM4N Passive aggressive texts to people not involved in the conflict just make you look bad.
    via TheMrEM4N
  • 13
    Acid_Intimacy Yep. They never improve the situation. Just message her directly, and let her know you felt r de refusing something that was offered to you, but would have gladly abstained if you, a), knew there wasn't enough for everyone, and b), knew it has desiccated coconut in it. Apologize, but ask that in future, she be more up front with you - not expect you to read her mind, and then get upset when you can't.
    via Acid_Intimacy
  • 14
    sleepingrozy Why didn't she mention the coconut being in the cake to begin with when she offered it to you? Especially since she knew you didn't like it. She really has only herself to blame for only cutting the cake into 8 pieces then not mentioning the coconut to you directly.
    via sleepingrozy
  • 15
    nuclearporg Right?? This is so bizarre! The last time someone forgot and gave me a cookie with coconut in it, they followed it up with immediately sticking a hand in front of my mouth and telling me to spit it out (which I did without thinking because my brain didn't even engage in the process, but I did appreciate later). Granted, mine is a case of "this will end in a trip to the ER" and less "I will eat two bites and toss the rest" but still. It is bananas how stealthy coconut has gotten. It's
    via nuclearporg
  • 16
    Apart-Ad-6518 Totally 100% NTA Amy spent last night crying about how she didn't get to eat any of her cake She's 30 ish?? Seriously? "Why did she even offer me any cake if she knew there was coconut inside?" Good question. I read your post twice because I thought I must be missing something. To reiterate, imho you are not the A H here. Who behaves like that/ sends a ton of aggressive messages over a slice of cake, smh. You deserve way better friends though.
    via Apart-Ad-6518
  • 17
    Unicorn_Fluffs A 30 year old who has no communication skills. When handing it out why did she not say 'hi op it has coconut inside would you like a slice as I know you're not a fan of coconut'. You were not given the full information before accepting the cake. Tell your friends baker she needs to work on her communication skills and stop crying over a situation she caused - she didn't tell you the ingredients and she failed to cut the cake for the number of people at the party. She's an idiot.
    via Unicorn_Fluffs
  • 18
    jaduhlynr And not to mention, when I bake things for a party I fully am prepared to not have any if means other guests get to try it. IMO that's the whole point of making something, it's like a gift, you don't expect to get any in return, especially when you didn't even cut a slice for yourself to begin with lol I think what happened in her mind is she thought OP knew that she knew he didn't like coconut and deliberately took cake he wouldn't eat to spite her for some reason? Only thing wrong wi
    via jaduhlynr
  • 19
    Rooney_Tuesday "Hey OP, do you want any of this cake? Just want to make sure since there's coconut in it." Or just...cut 9 slices to start with and then you don't have to worry about if he eats it all or not? Amy made the worst possible decision and now wants to cry about it. OP, nobody answered your text because that is a SUPER awkward thing to include everyone on. It only affected you three, so unless you thought they were going to talk sh_about you for this then just keep it between yourselve
    via Rooney_Tuesday
  • 20
    AdmirableCost5692 if Amy at her age is crying ALL night for a piece of cake, she needs to see a psychiatrist... urgently
    via AdmirableCost5692
  • 21
    LeoHyuuga OP Ironically, Steven is a psychiatrist.
    via LeoHyuuga
  • 22
    TheGoodJeans NTA... what an overreaction. Their response really...takes the cake...
    via TheGoodJeans
  • 23
    UteLawyer NTA. Amy should have told you everything before she cut the cake. Instead, she offered it to you and expected you to know 1) that she only had cut 8 pieces 2) she wanted you decline because you don't like coconut which 3) she didn't tell you the cake had.
    via UteLawyer
  • 24
    oliviamrow NTA, it sounds like she thinks you should have known, psychically perhaps, that it was the last of the cake and that it had coconut in it. I suppose it's possible that these things were said/announced to the group but you didn't hear it, but... ...Why didn't she just cut nine slices? There's no law that says you have to use the usual split cuts in a round cake, even if it's a little unwieldy. And if it was square or rectangle, nine is actually quite a practical number of slices, 3x3.
    via oliviamrow
  • 25
    freckledirewolf I have made birthday cakes for friends/ family before. You know what I do before I cut the cake? I say 'hey who would like some cake? It's lemon/ chocolate/ desiccated coconut/ whatever flavour' and then I serve accordingly, and don't police who in my company ate what. And I cut myself a slice too, because I'm not a martyr. NTA
    via freckledirewolf
  • 26
    boringwidow Wait, wait, wait. This boils down to your friends thinking you are petty AF to do this?? This isn't about the cake. It's about how they view you. That is not cool. NTA.
    via boringwidow
  • 27
    Walktothebrook NTA. All she had to do was mention the cake had coconut and you would not have taken it. For her childish tantrum Amy is an AH and Steven is an enormous AH for texting you.
    via Walktothebrook
  • 28
    CPSue Aha! Amy was playing the You Have to Read My Mind Game. Somehow, probably by osmosis, you were supposed to know that the cake you were offered had coconut in it, was one of only eight slices, and that by taking it, you would deprive her of having any. Obviously, she lost the game because her Jedi mind powers weren't strong enough to convey all of this apparently crucial information without her using her big girl words. This is ridiculous. On a scale of 1 to 5, this is a -2 and Amy is escal
    via CPSue

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cake friendship aita sharing birthday relationships argument reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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