'I’m not contributing my hard-earned money to ease her guilt': Coworker demands everyone pitch $50 for their boss's Christmas gift, then crosses the line, offering unsolicited financial advice after someone refuses

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    Coworker actually told me how to budget for boss's Christmas gifts when I finally told her I will have a strict budget from now on.
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    Every year the contribution for boss's Christmas gifts has increased. Coworker tried to get $50 out of myself and my other coworker this year (there's only 3 of us). My other coworker obliged. I refused.
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    Today I told her what I've been needing to say for too long. I told her no more than $20 from now on. She fought it at first. "I feel bad because she spends like $300 on each of us."
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    (Side note: If she feels "bad" that's 100% on her. I'm not contributing my hard earned money to ease her guilt.) Well she's also gets paid A LOT more than us. At least way more than me.
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    "But she spends so much!" And honestly, I'd rather her not. But that's her choice. "Well, you should come up with a way to budget for it. Even if it's just $5, here, $5 there."
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    Did she hear herself?!? Asking me to budget for the boss's freaking gifts?!? I budget for necessities. This is FAR from a necessity. My own budgeting is my business! And how dare her give me financial advice for
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    something like this. I know the look on my face told her all she needed to know. She finally said "we'll just each get her something on our own." Thank you!!! That's perfect. I
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    don't want hear another word about a contribution to the boss's gift ever again. Edit: I also told her that we're not supposed to be gifting up anyway. I told her to look it up
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    herself. She reiterated again how much boss spends on us. But I didn't budge on it. I don't care what she spends. That's her business, her choice.
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    SockMaster9273 ΝΤΑ "I need $50 for the bosses gift this year" "I need the $50 to eat"
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    Old-Patience1026 OP Oh! That reminds me. I told her that too! That technically we're not supposed to be gifting up anyway. She looked at me like I had some nerve to say that. The reiterated what she spends on us. I don't care. No one is making her spend that. My statement stands firm.
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    CharismaticAlbino Not to mention, it's entirely probable the company lets your boss buy those presents on the company's account. Meaning they don't cost her a dime. My husband is in senior management and gets expense accounts for everything work related.
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    zanne54 Oh man, I'm impressed at your restraint. I probably would have snarked back "Ok then, fine, my budget is now zero, and your feelings of gifting guilt aren't my problem to fix."
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    Old Sheepherder_630 Fwiw $20 is too much. Gifts should flow down or sideways at work, never up. And you should never feel obligated. I was asked for $50 to contribute to the gift for the
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    owner of the company and when I declined they tried to guilt me by pointing out people who are contributing but make a lot less. I was so ped she was trying
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    to buy people out of their money for a guy whose watch cost more than most of the cars in the lot. Bosses are responsible for shutting this stuff down.
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    Luneowl It is so cringey to watch a toadying brown-noser at work. Had one woman who came in on her day off to give our supervisor a "#1 Boss" mug on National Boss Day. Even the boss gave her some side-eye for doing that!
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    Agniantarvastejana I would be mortified if my boss, as an individual, bought me a $300 Christmas gift. That spending level seems grossly out of alignment for an employee/boss relationship,
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    but I suppose it does depend on everybody's income level/ roles of the people that are in the department/ organization. That said. I just got a company holiday swag box that was easily worth between $300
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    and $400 (retail, but I know our buyer doesn't pay that) so I think it's the personal gifting aspect that I find uncomfortable, in contrast to employee spiffs. Maybe in the multi million dollar real estate world, it wouldn't be so weird and I'm actually just a poor. Oh noes! Existential crisis.

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