Woman Refuses to Babysit Brother’s Child During Emergency After He Criticizes Her Lax Parenting Style, Family Backs Him in Sibling Spat: ‘If I’m a bad mom, I’m a bad babysitter’

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 28, 2024 11:00 PM EST

Welcome web-surfing ladies. Everyone has a different parenting style or philosophy. Some parents take a stricter approach to child rearing and attempt to control various aspects of their kids' lives, while others value independence and let their kids make their own choices — even if they lead to mistakes and consequences. No one way is better than the other, and the truth is that a balance must be struck between these two ideologies. Of course, that balance looks different for everyone. 

In our story today, our protagonist was criticized by her brother for her "unbalanced" approach to raising her daughter. Despite his disapproving comments, he deemed his sister a good enough childcare option when he found himself in a desperate state of emergency. However, his sister had taken the criticism to heart, and refused to help him in retaliation. For the full story and the result of her refusal, scroll down. 

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  • 01
    "A couple of weeks ago, my brother made a snide comment at a family dinner about how I let my daughter watch too much TV and eat “junk food.” He said it was "sad" that I wasn't trying harder to be a good mom. I let it slide at the time, but I was hurt.' "I
    via surachetkhamsuk
  • 02
    r/AITAH u/Lorenistired. 8h AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece after my brother called me a bad mom?
    via u/Lorenistired
  • 03
    I (31F) have a 5-year-old daughter, and I'm a single mom. My brother (33M) and his wife have a 3-year- old daughter. We've always had an okay relationship, but things got weird recently.
    via u/Lorenistired
  • 04
    A couple of weeks ago, my brother made a snide comment at a family dinner about how I let my daughter watch too much TV and eat "junk food." He said it was "sad" that I wasn't trying harder to be a good mom. I let it slide at the time, but I was hurt.
    via u/Lorenistired

    God forbid she let her kid relax the 21st century way.

  • 05
    Fast forward to this week, my brother calls me asking if I can babysit his daughter for a few days because he and his wife have an emergency trip they need to take. I said no. I didn't give an excuse- I just said I wasn't available. He flipped out, saying I was being selfish and holding a grudge, and that I'm punishing an innocent child.
    via u/Lorenistired
  • 06
    Our parents are now involved, and they think I should've helped out, but I feel like if I'm such a "bad mom," then maybe I'm not the right person to watch his kid. AITAH? ↑ 709 | в 162 D
    via u/Lorenistired

    We love a petty queen.

  • 07
    bossybott 8h NTA. Your brother doesn't deserve free labor from you, especially when it comes to childcare considering his feelings on your parenting. You didn't even tell him why you wouldn't/couldn't babysit but he jumped to the conclusion that you were holding a grudge. That lets you know that knew full well what he said was wrong/hurtful and he wanted a reaction out of you at the time. Your brother is clearly TA for belittling you as a parent and then turning around expecting you to drop ever
    via u/bossybott
  • 08
    EnvironmentOk5610 • 6h And it sounds like mom & dad said NOTHING when their son slammed their daughter's character and parenting abilities, so they aren't people whose opinion OP needs to value er 264
    via u/EnvironmentOk5610
  • 09
    Prairie_Crab ⚫ 5h • That's exactly what I thought! Why did he immediately assume she was mad about what he said? Because he knows perfectly well he said some lousy cr p. 55
    via u/Prairie_Crab
  • 10
    Adorable-Growth-6551 8h Invite Mom and Dad to watch the child Reply 243
    via u/Adorable-Growth-6551

    Exactly. They can step up if they're so pressed about it.

  • 11
    No_Use_9124 . 8h NTA Tell your parents to watch their grandchild. Tell your brother since you're such a "bad mom," he shouldn't ask you anymore for your free services. Also, tell him the next time he makes some remark like that, he can watch your already shaky relationship go no contact. ← Reply 143
    via u/No_Use_9124
  • 12
    content_great_gramma You said it all!! • • 2h D8 43
    via u/content_great_gramma
  • 13
    Beth21286 • 1h I'd ask why both parents need to go on the emergency trip? Surely one should be responsible and look after their child? ... 23
    via u/Beth21286
  • 14
    MarthaT001 • 8h NTA If you're a bad mom, then you're also a bad babysitter. Tell your mom that. Reply 121
    via u/MarthaT001
  • 15
    butterfly-garden Tell EVERYONE that!!! • 7h J 42
    via u/butterfly-garden
  • 16
    flynena-3.6h Surprised he all of a sudden isn't concerned about the fact that his daughter would probably watch too much TV and eat too much junk food if he left her there lol, how convenient that it's suddenly okay. 33
    via u/flynena-3
  • 17
    Quiet-Ad351 • 5h This. Why would he want a "bad mom" to watch his kid. You're just looking out for the kid by saying no if that's the case. NTA. Д ← Ĵ 6
    via u/Quiet-Ad351
  • 18
    ilnaturista ⚫ 4h NTA. It's understandable that you'd be reluctant to help someone who has recently criticized your parenting skills in a hurtful way. While helping family in times of need is important, it's also crucial that there is mutual respect. If your brother needs your help, it would be reasonable for him to apologize and address the hurtful comments he made before expecting you to babysit. It's not fair for him to dismiss your feelings and then demand a favor as if nothing happened. You
    via u/ilnaturista
  • 19
    The_Bad_Agent • 8h NTA Besides, you're a bad parent in his eyes. That means he's a bad parent for trying to leave his kid with you. His kid, his problem. Not your problem at all. ... ← Reply û 47 ♡
    via u/The_Bad_Agent
  • 20
    74Magick • 7h Since your parents feel so strongly about it the solution is simple - they can watch the kids. Problem solved. NTA Reply 39 ♡
    via u/74Magick
  • 21
    Mother Search3350 • 8h Mom and Dad can watch their grandkid NTAH ... Reply 30
    via u/Mother_Search3350
  • 22
    Ratchet_gurl24 • 7h So, you (justifiably) said 'no' to babysitting for your brother. He immediately accuses you of holding a grudge. So he knows his comments were wrong and uncalled for. Otherwise he wouldn't have jumped to that conclusion. Well, let's hope he learns the valuable lesson of not p*sing off the person he wants favours from. ... Reply ✩ 25 ♡
    via u/Ratchet_gurl24
  • 23
    AssistSignificant153 .7h Your brother pulled a move then wants a favor??? Let your parents watch his brat, you did the right thing! ← Reply 24
    via u/AssistSignificant153
  • 24
    forgetregret1day • 7h What is wrong with some people? He calls you a bad mom but when it comes to something he wants, your "bad mother" status is good enough to be a caregiver for his kids? That's hypocrisy at its purest level. He decided to run his mouth and criticize you, I'd personally give it right back to him. Tell him you don't dare risk damaging his perfectly parented children with your horrible actions. I'd also tell him to pound sand but that's just me. He's reaping what he sowed. Boo h
    via u/forgetregret1day

    Unbelievably entitled behavior.

  • 25
    canningjars 32m • If both are going perhaps they can take the kid or one stay home. You know this isnt work or they would hire a nanny to accompany them. They are going on a vacation. You gonna be the free labor. The parents should have corrected him and stuck up for her. You know he admires her way of parenting and was dissing his wife in a round about way. But stay away from him. Dr û 1 3
    via u/canningjars
  • 26
    NUredditNU • 7h Tell your parents to put up or shut up. NTA Reply 10
    via u/NUredditNU

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