Woman Refuses to Let Her Best Friend Bring Boyfriend to Her Wedding, Best Friend Demands She Makes an Exception: 'Now she might not come to the wedding'

Author image for Shelly Pearl
Shelly Pearl
Dec 22, 2024 8:00 PM EST

A bride's big day is a big deal. Getting married to the love of your life is as momentous of a milestone as it gets and it should definitely be treated accordingly. You should be able to have exactly what you want and how you want it, from the wedding dress to the guest list and everything in between. It does only happen once after all…well, usually. Special cases aside, as someone who is getting married for the first time your desires and budget restrictions should be met and respected, especially by your loved ones. 

For this bride-to-be, things took a turn for the worst when her bestie requested a plus one for someone she had only dating for two months, despite her bride-bestie making it clear that she was not able to budget for anyone bringing a plus one, let alone someone who she was only dating a few months. Talk about unnecessary rifts between friends, what's a bride and bestie to do? Is missing your best friend's wedding for a guy really the answer? 

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  • 01
    I reiterated that we're not budging on the guest list, and she got visibly upset. She said it's "unfair" and that as my best friend, she should be allowed
    via NADINNE MOGOL's Images / Canva Pro
  • 02
    r/Am/TheJerk hot_sofiaa Am I the jerk for not letting my best friend bring her new boyfriend to my wedding?
    via u/hot_sofiaa

    Things are about to get heated. It looks like the bride is blushing for all the wrong reasons.

  • 03
    I (28F) am getting married in a few months, and my fiancé (30M) and I are keeping the guest list small—just close family and friends. We've explained this to everyone, and most people have been understanding about it.
    via u/hot_sofiaa

    If anyone is going to be understanding it should be your loved ones, is that too much to ask?

  • 04
    My best friend Rachel (27F) recently started dating a new guy, Ethan. They've been together for about two months, and while I've met him briefly, I don't know him well. A couple of weeks ago,
    via u/hot_sofiaa

    Good for Rachel, but I'm not sure I like where this is going. I'm with the bride, who even is Ethan? 

  • 05
    Rachel asked if Ethan could come to the wedding as her plus-one. I felt awkward but explained that we're not giving plus-ones to people who aren't in long-term relationships, especially since space is limited.
    via u/hot_sofiaa

    The punch we were waiting for and it isn't a comedic one. Talk about a tone-deaf request. 

  • 06
    Rachel seemed okay with it at first, but a few days later, she brought it up again. She said Ethan is "different" and that she really wants him there because she thinks he could be "the one."
    via u/hot_sofiaa

    Why would you even use your best friend's wedding as an opportunity to declare your love? Seems like there may be some ulterior motives.  

  • 07
    I reiterated that we're not budging on the guest list, and she got visibly upset. She said it's "unfair" and that as my best friend, she should be allowed to bring the person she's currently dating.
    via u/hot_sofiaa
  • 08
    Now she's been distant and even hinted that she might not come to the wedding if Ethan isn't invited. She's told a few mutual friends, and they're split-some
    via u/hot_sofiaa
  • 09
    think I'm being reasonable because it's my wedding, while others think I'm being too rigid and should just let her bring him.
    via u/hot_sofiaa
  • 10
    I don't want to strain our friendship, but I also don't think it's fair to make an exception when we've already told other friends in similar situations no.
    via u/hot_sofiaa
  • 11
    So, am I the jerk for not letting my best friend bring her new boyfriend to my wedding?
    via u/hot_sofiaa
  • 12
    passionxxdeesire You're not the jerk, your wedding, your rules, you're already being fair by applying the same rule to everyone, not just rachel, a wedding is about celebrating your relationship not accomodating everyone else's dating life,
    via u/passionxxdeesire
  • 13
    if ethan is truly "the one" there will be plenty of future events where you can all bond rachel should respect your boundaries instead of making this about her
    via u/passionxxdeesire
  • 14
    Corfe-Castle Ethan most probably doesn't even want to go to the wedding. This is all on Rachel wanting to give him subtle hints about getting hitched
    via u/Corfe-Castle
  • 15
    JJC02466 You're not the jerk. Weddings are one of the few days in your life that should be exactly what you and your spouse-to-be want. Everyone else should get on board or pound sand.
    via u/JJC02466
  • 16
    PumpkinEscobar2 You both are kinda being jerks
    via u/PumpkinEscobar2
  • 17
    911siren NTJ. She wasn't even offered plus one. She can come solo or she can stay home. There is no magical third option of making you feel like sh for your decision.
    via u/911siren
  • 18
    Xnavygunner Your friend is the jerk. Your boundaries are more than reasonable and understandable. Seems like she wants to bring him hoping it'll make him want to marry her.
    via u/Xnavygunner
  • 19
    izobelllle You're definitely not the jerk. friendships come and go. If this is what makes her cut you off, then so be it It's your wedding, your rules.
    via u/izobelllle
  • 20
    Skippitini You aren't putting a strain on your friendship. She is by trying to make you alter your plans to suit her feelings. NTJ.
    via u/Skippitini

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marriage best friends plus one askreddit reddit story relationships wedding reddit thread Reddit dating
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