Brother and new sister-in-law get mad when sister gets engaged at the Grand Canyon 3 days after their wedding: '[They] said the timing and location were hurtful and that we shouldn’t planned around the wedding'

For some reason, there's a particularly common and troubling thing that happens at important events and celebrations when guests—often those closest to the celebrants, try to make the day about themselves by announcing their own important thing at that event, taking attention away from the hosts and guests of honor and turning it towards themselves instead.

This is dreadfully common, and you can chalk it up to sheer incompetence, egotism, and immersion in the event, resulting in a loss of oneself in the excitement of the celebration. Usually, it will be a combination of all these things and more. Still, as with anything, there are limits as to what actually constitutes "thunder stealing," which mainly has to do with the relatedness of said thing to said event.

Certainly, getting engaged at your brother's wedding is disrespectful to your brother and his bride and generally out of bounds—but how about getting married after your brother's wedding? How long after? How far away from the event?

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  • I think we can all generally accept that getting engaged three days after the wedding and far away from the venue at a massive public landmark (the literal Grand Canyon) is probably a safe bet. The day is yours, but two things you don't have claim to are distant locations and time itself, and the nuance of the timing of the supposed offense is key.

    Still, this didn't stop this brother and sister-in-law from getting upset when his sister and her fiancé got engaged at the Grand Canyon days after her brother's wedding.

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    Cheezburger Image 10447575296
    via Gantas Vaičiulėnas

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for getting engaged after my brother's wedding? Not the A-he EDIT: paraphrased some direct quotes and removed some potentially identifiable info. My brother and his now wife got married three days ago. A very small destination ceremony under 15 people total. My now fiancé and I extended our trip after everyone went home and spent a couple of days exploring
    via andthatsfine
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    the Grand Canyon, a couple hours north of the wedding, where he proposed. When I shared the news with my brother and now SIL, he responded with hostility saying that it looked like we were competing.
    via andthatsfine
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    I apologized, quickly realizing that he was advocating for my SIL and that she felt hurt (although I'm truly failing to understand why). I also texted her a separate apology and explained that it was not our intent to encroach and just wanted to share the news with family and that it's my belief that there's room for happiness for everyone. She did not respond.
    via andthatsfine
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    In response to my apology, my brother doubled down and said the timing and location were hurtful and that we shouldn't planned around the wedding.
    via andthatsfine
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a h le: We got engaged 3 days after my brothers wedding and in a location 2 hours north of their wedding. Is this too soon / too close to their wedding?
    via andthatsfine
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    abalone55 NTA! And I can see you're trying valiantly to understand, but I'm not sure your brother or his wife will be able to give you a good reason for their reaction. Cause their reaction is WILD! Sure, it's r de to propose at someone else's wedding.....but that's not what happened. The fact that you and your fiancé
    via andthatsfine
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  • 08
    got engaged a few days. after their wedding, before you flew home....is a totally different thing. Also, the level of hostility in that message from your brother is nasty and definitely not normal. I'm so sorry that he treats you like that.
    via andthatsfine
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    eowynsheiress NTA. Your brother needs to calm down. The bride gets. a day, her one wedding day. She does not get a location, a week, or anything else. She gets her wedding. That is all. You did not encroach.
    via andthatsfine
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    fallingintopolk... NTA. You were proposed to days after the wedding while exploring the state the wedding was in, and several hours away from the wedding site, and also this wedding was an "elopement". I get that eloping has changed definitions from essentially marrying in secret and private, to a generally a small planned wedding....
    via andthatsfine
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    but she's throwing a tantrum as if this were an all-expense-paid luxury wedding in a rented locale and that you were proposed to the same evening as the wedding steps away from said wedding and announced it in front of everyone.
    via andthatsfine
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    RedneckDebut... They owner neither the weekend nor the state. NTA at all. I'm petty, so I'd tell them I'm sorry their joy at wedding the love of their life is overpowered by jealousy of your engagement. Like, shouldn't they have more important sh going on?
    via andthatsfine
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    No_Conflict31... NTA. People need to get over themselves. I personally have never understood this wedding insecurity. Truly, what is the big deal if someone gets engaged if it's not changing the tone of the celebration. But frankly everyone should be able to celebrate happiness together when they have it.
    via andthatsfine
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  • 14
    Winteraine78 NTA! You didn't do it at the wedding or during any after ceremony festivities. You extended your trip and it happened after when everyone had left. Your SIL and brother had their day. Life does not pause for everyone else after their SINGLE DAY! That's the craziest reason to be p ed at someone. Congratulations on your engagement!
    via andthatsfine

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