Woman gets into spat with step-siblings over their parent’s past drama, accusing her mother of ruining their family, she refuses to take the blame

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 2, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When one's parents get divorced, it can cause havoc to reign down on everyone around if the parents aren't mature and careful. Getting a divorce takes requires a lot of communication and respect, as backwards as it may sound. If both parents handle things privately in a mature fashion, and don't include the children or reveal secrets that should remain veiled, then the children can grow up more easily having healthy relationships of their own, while maintaining a normal family life. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who's just reconnected with her step-siblings. As they're in the midst of fun talks, memories, nostalgic conversations, parent shaming suddenly becomes a part of it. They accuse her mother of homewrecking their family. OP denies such accusations, but she doesn't have the last word.

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  • 01
    We were talking about random childhood memories, (mostly vague and things to do with school life, childhood teasing, and things excluding our home lives) when they casually mentioned feeling bad for me because my mom is a
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 15 hr. ago HalfSibMess AITA for refusing to apologize for my mom and not sympathizing with my siblings?
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 03
    I (24F) have very recently reconnected with my half-siblings (30M and 27F) after years of not being close. Things have been going well, and we've been getting to know each other better. But a few days ago, a conversation completely threw me for a loop, and now I'm furious and refusing to talk to either of them.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 04
    For context, we've only recently began to meet up after I ended up moving into the same city as them and found out I worked at the same company my half-sister did. Before this point, we'd been avoiding bringing up the topic of our childhoods and upbringings.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 05
    We were talking about random childhood memories, (mostly vague and things to do with school life, childhood teasing, and things excluding our home lives) when they casually mentioned feeling bad for me because my mom is a " and I had to grow up with "two parents." I was obviously shocked but tried to
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 06
    brush it off. Then my brother joked about how karma must have hit their dad hard when my mom cheated on him with my stepdad.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 07
    That's when I couldn't stay quiet anymore. I asked them what the holl they were talking about, and they explained how their mom had given our dad an ultimatum when she first found out about his infidelity: she'd forgive his cheating if he completely cut off contact with me and my mom (except for what was legally required). And my father had chosen us.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 08
    They also added how lucky I was to grow up with both parents while they had to deal with the fallout of their dad's choices. At this point, I was completely gobsmacked.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 09
    So apparently, my siblings have been under the impression I've been living this fairytale, magical life with both parents living happily and raising me together like a perfect family. That is pure bulls
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 10
    As soon as my mom found out he had an entire second family, she kicked him out and threw his stuff onto the lawn. She raised me by herself for ten years, working multiple jobs to keep us afloat, until she met my now-stepdad, Mike. He didn't even enter the picture until I was almost a teenager.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 11
    When I explained all this, they still wouldn't let it go. They kept insisting that my mom had to have known she was sleeping with a married man. I told them flat-out that my mom would never knowingly do that. She's not perfect, but she's not a homewrecker. The few times my sperm-donor had ever tried to get
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 12
    back together with her, she threatened to call the police and have him arrested for stalking.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 13
    Even after that, they doubled down. They started saying that I should feel bad for the pain my mom caused their mom and their family. They even said she should be apologizing to them.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 14
    I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Apologize for what? For the fact that our dad lied and destroyed multiple lives? For the fact that she chose to raise me alone rather than play happy family with a cheater?
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 15
    When I tried to point this out, they called me defensive and said I wasn't being fair or empathetic to their pain. They're upset with me now for refusing to acknowledge their side and admit how my mom ruined their family.
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 16
    But I feel like I've done nothing wrong here. My mother is being blamed for things outside of her control, and I refuse to give in
    via u/HalfSibMess
  • 17
    b.. 15h ago • Edited 12h ago Wait, they feel bad for you because they think your mom's a " " and you had to grow up with "two parents."
    via u/bulbophylum
  • 18
    But they're also jealous of you because that's what they consider a "magical, fairytale, perfect family" and wish they'd had the same? Edited later to add: Putting phrasing aside, I'd guess that the siblings have lived their entire lives only
    via u/bulbophylum
  • 19
    hearing their dad's version of the truth, and never had any real reason to doubt it. Since it's established that dad is a sleazy lying I think it's safe to infer that truth was heavily expurgated and enhanced.
    via u/bulbophylum
  • 20
    Example narrative: dad had an affair with some chick and got her pregnant. Oops but it happens. Then dad's wife demands no contact, but dad can't bear to let OP just grow up fatherless. That would be tragic! So mean wife kicks him out.
    via u/bulbophylum
  • 21
    Is he really going to come back and admit he was dumped the second OP's mom found out? So the things OP told them are contradicting a core paradigm of the siblings life. Shock, disbelief, and anger are common reactions to a challenge like that. On top of
    via u/bulbophylum
  • 22
    that, it's likely that both of their parents normalized talking about OP's mom in that derogatory way and they just didn't think anything of it. This doesn't mean it's okay to act like an a h le, which these siblings did. Just a muse on where they might be coming from.
    via u/bulbophylum
  • 23
    Tishers 15h ago ΝΤΑ Top 1% Commenter They refuse to recognize that all of the children, on either side of the sperm-donor's arrangement, were victims in this.
    via u/Tishers

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