'If you don't want me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best': 20+ unprofessional comments job applicants wrote on their resumes

It's not easy to make yourself stand out on paper. That's what 99% of job candidates have to deal with every time they submit an application. The remaining 1%, of course, are the folks who likely bypass this step because of a prior connection, but that's a whole separate issue.

Today, we're going to take a look at all the times people tried to stand out in all the wrong ways on their resumes and cover letters. Recruiters are used to seeing the same mistakes over and over again, from typos to embellished employment histories to strange details that should never have been shared in the first place. Here's what these recruiters believed to be the most memorable resume flops they have come across throughout their careers.

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  • 01
    Resume Proficiel Pre

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

    Via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)
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  • 02
    curiouspursuit People who tie themselves in knots to fit exactly into whatever resume template they are using. Combining jobs because you want to list 4 but the template has space for 3.
    Via khlose
  • 03
    Using a template with like 8 bullet points for "awards" and digging so deep you're listing "second grader of the month May 1992" I usually point to the offending section and ask "what are you trying to tell the person reading this?" And if you cant answe that question it doesn't need to be there.
    Via khlose

  • Ok, this is fair, but what if the thing you are trying to communicate is that you were named Best Second Grader of the month? All jokes aside, it's true that so many folks cram way too much information into their resume rather than thinking of their CV as a pitch—a narrative you are trying to create about yourself and your journey.

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  • 04
    [deleted] Typos, irrelevant information especially, recently a resume came in that had the person's name, contact info, high school info, and 1 job experience: McDonalds. The whole resume was 1/3rd sheet of paper.
    Via khlose
  • 05
    We loved it, its all we needed to know, compared to mr. I like to take long walks on the beach. We really don't have time to read even the page you submit, so if it has to be a page, it better be good.
    Via khlose
  • 06
    Also we had a guy send a 5 page resume, which is extreme but it was for a higher position, still 5 pages. The kicker is that one of the pages was a full blown headshot selfie. He didn't get a call back
    Via khlose
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  • Brevity is the soul of wit, as they say! Sometimes, you don't need to reveal everything you've ever done to prove that you're qualified for one job.

  • 07
    neibegafig I had a resume once state for work experience being "Hacker - The Internet" Other gems included in the resume were:
    Via khlose
  • 08
    "I've been both fired and hired for hacking various things" "I've never been. convicted of a computer crime" I will admit it gave me a chuckle but certainly was a deterrant for the job.
    Via khlose
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  • 09
    [deleted]. They have just stacks and stacks of pages. Like 40 page resumes.
    Via khlose

  • 40 pages?! Were they in the CIA?!

  • 10
    Zhaelthas not using something as simple as capital letters at the start of sentences. and capitalizing Words that do not need to be capitalized.
    Via khlose
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  • What if that's their ~writerly voice~ though? Just kidding! Proofread your work before rage-applying to jobs, people!

  • 11
    Tim Not common but a couple months ago, this kid applied to my clinic for assistant stuff. The thing was in Comic Sans. Yuck. I actually felt bad so I sent him an email with small pointers and improvements he could do on his resume. Doing my civic duty yippee!
    Via khlose
  • 12
    CreampuffOfLove How has no one mentioned the Bible verse quotes?! Or do I just get all the nutjobs who think that's appropriate for a resume?
    Via khlose
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  • 13
    sixesand7s. 2 My friend had someone come into his work with a resume a few years back, one of the "achievements" he had listed was, "Able to walk extremely long distances without getting tired" EDIT: I feel I should add, he was applying at a millwork finishing shop
    Via khlose

  • The long-distance thing is impressive and could never be me! I'd hire that person…

  • 14
    RESUME

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

    Via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)
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  • 15
    Vergils_Lost Former recruiter. The only thing I don't already see mentioned here already is a mission statement for a totally different industry. "Looking for an exciting career in zookeeping" while applying to an office job is a great way to see that you're going to leave as soon as you get the job you ACTUALLY wanted.
    Via khlose
  • 16
    To a lesser extent, also really vague mission statements. That shows you have no idea what you want, which can be fine in some contexts, but is going to lose out to someone who knows they want the job in question. If you're trying to create a generic resume, just leave that bit out. If you know what type of career you're looking for, it's maybe worth including.
    Via khlose
  • 17
    [deleted] ⚫ A cover letter or objective that is all about what the job can do for you: "I am a recent graduate seeking a role where I can apply my knowledge and grow my career. I am looking to learn new skills and be challenged and to enjoy the work I do."
    Via khlose
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  • 18
    I'm so pleased to hear what you want. What can you offer me? Ask not what your employer can do for you, ask what you can do for your employer.
    Via khlose

  • To play devil's advocate for a moment, this does feel like a backward mentality. Employment is, in fact, a two-way street, and both parties should present what they can offer to each other prior to an interview. Just our two cents!

  • 19
    Skinny Testaverde. I'm not a recruiter but I have been in charge of hiring, and I hate objectives. They're useless and waste space, in my opinion. Also I don't like repetitive bullet points; if you did the same thing at a bunch of different jobs, mix it up and show me what OTHER things you did at the jobs. They're not dealbreakers of course, just annoyances.
    Via khlose
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  • 20
    DeepFriedPlumbus. The other day I had someone list "Pre- School" along with the name of the school under their education section
    Via khlose
  • 21
    techtchotchke I hire a lot of front-end developers and UI/UX designers. About a quarter of the resumes I consider have a portfolio or personal site link that is de d. Make sure your site is live before you send out your resume!
    Via khlose
  • 22
    Woodcharles ⚫ I've spent years eyeballs- deep in a couple of much-beloved MMOs - I've been there, pulled the all-nighters, rolled on the loot, I get it - so I can almost understand the temptation, but please for the love of God don't start banging on about how leading your guild and planning raid strategies is remotely connected to the job you're applying for.
    Via khlose
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  • 23
    mannyrmz123 Photos. I don't care how you look, you just need to get stuff done.
    Via khlose
  • 24
    ABOUT ME consecedented de Resume Lorem Ipsum EXPERIENCE SENIOR DESIGNER (2011-present) CREATIVE BEE Loremumur samet consecteturadipisicingelit, sed do ASSISTANT DESIGNER GRAVITY DESIGNS ad minim veniam quand EDUCATION SKILLS BACHELOR OF ART GREEN ELEPHANT ARTS WORK PERSONAL COMMUNICATION CHATY (2005-2013 (1988-1989) COOL DESIGN TRAINING BLUE BEE ART Loremmdoor stamet, consecteturadeicingeit, sed do modlepoincididuntabore et dolore magna aliqua AWARDS Best Designer of 2010 Winner of Euro Design 2

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    HauteGarbage. Generic qualities like "self-starter" or "go- getter". Yeah man, you're trying to get a job, those things are super obvious.
    Via khlose
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  • 26
    SaltYourPopcorn Typos in any part of the resume. If you didn't take time to carefully proofread, you won't take the time to do the job well.
    Via khlose
  • 27
    Tracyannk28 Adding Facebook, Twitter and Instagram under "technical skills".
    Via khlose
  • 28
    [deleted] My brother works at camping world and told me someone wrote on their resume "If you don't want me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". Who the puts that on a resume? What does that have to do with camping world? She was 29 years old for gods sake.
    Via khlose
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  • 29
    Shoofro Ridiculous corporate jargon "In my last position, I leveraged synergies between business units to create value and a win-win scenario which empowered other business units to think outside the box and take a deep dive into core competencies to create buy-in and game changing results." Next.
    Via khlose
  • 30
    mazimaxi This isnt common nor should be, but im gonna share it anyway. A guy turned in a resume for a sales job with a picture of his face and a pie chart breaking down his "amazing" traits like listening and dedication.
    Via khlose
  • 31
    50Shades Of Vader. I have seen a few people mention their hobbies and interests on their resume, it's actually not needed. That's something the recruiter will ask in an in-person interview to see how you will fit within the company environment.
    Via khlose
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  • 32
    xDommy. I worked in a college career development office for a few years and what may not be the biggest mistake, but the most common was improper formatting, almost half of students that came to us for help seemed like they had never seen a resume before. We had students not even have their name on their own resume.
    Via khlose
  • 33
    enolic2000. As a recruiter/hiring manager, I can say that there is no right or wrong way to do a resume. It all depends upon who is looking at it and what they are looking for. it might be perfect for someone, while someone else might hate it. You just never know.
    Via khlose
  • 34
    Do what you think is right and don't sweat it. You could be the perfect candidate, but they picked someones kid instead.
    Via khlose

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