‘Got a kick in the face knowing they could’ve had a 50% tip’: 20+ People share why they didn't tip their server

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jan 15, 2025 7:00 AM EST

If you have ever worked in the service industry, then you know how important tipping is (at least, in the U.S.). For some, tipping is how they make the bulk of their income. Tipping used to be about giving a little extra to the server because they did such an excellent job. However, it has no transformed into a way a person makes their living. It's pretty whack, but that's just how it works in America right now. So it's difficult to traverse when or even if there is an actually appropriate time to not leave a tip. If you are unaware how restaurant dynamics work and you don't tip your server on an obviously very busy and stressful night, then you're probably entitled and lack the ability to have empathy. 

 

However, what if you actually get poor service for really no good reason? Like, the place was basically empty, and yet you can never find your server. And when you do, they're just in the corner texting or yapping with their coworkers, with no regards to do their job. Perhaps, that is an appropriate time to express your disappointment by not tipping. In fact, many employees in the service industry would even agree! 

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  • It's not easy working in the service industry. You're running around on your feet for hours non-stop, you have to deal with a lot of entitled and often drvnk customers, and getting tipped is not even guaranteed. It's not only exhausting physically, but also mentally. So, when in doubt, tip, over tip, tip all you can afford! However, if you get a blatantly disrespectful and lazy server, well… I think everyone would agree, including that person's service industry co-workers, that they don't deserve a tip. 

     

    In fact, many here on this Reddit thread suggest going straight to the manager and handing them the tip so that it ensures that the back of house still gets tipped, but that your server doesn't—AND now the manager knows about your server's fireable offenses. What would you do?

  • Cheezburger Image 10454760448
    via Unsplash+ (and Sandra Seitamaa)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Staff forgot about us, I didn’t tip"

    Wife and I went to a nice place for a celebratory dinner. The bill was ~$200. The hostess showed us to our table, then the server brought us water and took our drink order. The place was pretty quiet, with may 8-10 other patrons. 15 minutes went by, so I went to try to find our server. I didn't see her but mentioned to the hostess that we were ready to order if she could find our server. Fast
    via RoseKaKe
  • forward 10 more minutes, I went back up to the front desk and found our server and the hostess both scrolling on their phones in silence. I said "Excuse me, we are ready to order when you're ready." They both jumped out of their skin and tucked their phones away. The server came and took our order and the night proceeded normally after that. Given that we waited 25 minutes to order our food (also didn't get our drinks until after we ordered food), and I know what the server was actually doing in
    via RoseKaKe
  • VerdMont1 Someone else had a similar experience. They called the restaurant from their table and placed their order. The manager became their loyal waiter!! featherdog_enl I did this once and could hear their phone ring and hear them complaining that the phone was ringing. They finally answered and when I asked for service and was told to come up and get my own menu. My friends and I left the restaurant and I left a bad review. My friends and I were teenagers at the time and I think the employee
    via VerdMont1
  • Where2Next4MeNow NTA: as a bartender and as someone who this has happened to before, I completely understand your frustration. My story is I work in the service industry. I went to a restaurant where I'm my girlfriend and I were regulars. Now I kind of don't dress the part because I hate putting on clothes to go out to eat, but that shouldn't stop me from getting good service. I watched my server flirt with these two women for 20 minutes while my drink sat empty. He never checked on us. He never
    via Where2Next4MeNow
  • said hello to us said great to see you guys again and refilled my drinks. Another server who we knew came by and refilled my drinks again. When the check came, I paid I left him Nothing, my girlfriend decided to leave him money. As we were walking out the door, I felt him staring at me and glaring, but I overheard him say they didn't tip me but one of his coworkers who knows us said you must've done something wrong because they normally leave 50Percent. Servers assume just because someone sits a
    via Where2Next4MeNow
  • montrerai This is completely justified. Glad they kind of got a kick in the face knowing they could have had a 50% tip
    via montrerai
  • Competitive-Bat-43 NTA - I see nothing wrong with not tipping in this situation ender42y if they were slammed, and the wait staff has a hard time getting to everyone because they are busy, that's one thing. being caught on their phones after being asked to come take OP's order. they made their beds right then and there.
    via Competitive-Bat-43
  • No_Aspect805 I have a once and done policy w/ service based establishments. Don't tip, don't return. Plenty of people in the world are happy to work for your $, find them and tell all your friends about them.
    via No_Aspect805
  • mollydgr When service is that bad, we leave 2 pennies on the table. It is our way of putting our two cents in. By not leaving a tip. The server just assumes you are cheap or may have forgotten. 2 pennies (in our opinion) makes a point.
    via mollydgr
  • ConsequenceVisual825 NTA! Industry professional here. Tips is an acronym for: To Insure Prompt Service Which you clearly did not get. So yes I would absolutely say something to the manager about this.
    via ConsequenceVisual825
  • HowCanBeLoungeLizard NTA I'm all for tipping well most of the time, but it's also a form of immediate feedback. You practically did their job for them, so you get (to keep) the tip.
    via HowCanBeLoungeLizard
  • 7776
    via Unsplash+ (and Jessie McCall)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Swimming_Passion621 As someone who strongly advocates for tipping and has worked in restaurants, NTA. I get it if it's busy but being caught going in your phone is bad. I hate not tipping but I have done it at restaurants before due to their service. I watched customers who came after me order and get their food first and we still had to wait another 25 minutes.
    via Swimming_Passion621
  • Senator_Bink We were once seated and forgotten. The menu had the restaurant's phone number, so we called them and said, "Yeah, we're at table number (whatever) and we're ready to order." The manager and server both came over and were all apologies. We told them we weren't mad, just hungry. They comped us part of the meal, so we tipped. If they hadn't comped us, we probably wouldn't have. You're NTA.
    via Senator_Bink
  • Minimum-Chest-7691 NTA When something like this happened to me, I tipped only 10% and then went to the front and asked for a manager. I then explained my experience to them and why their employee only received 10% from me. I did it calmly and matter of factly. Luckily I've only done it once.
    via Minimum-Chest-7691
  • joshhupp This happened to me a long time ago in college. We had a big group of church kids (maybe 12 of us) and all ordered the hot wings special. Our waiter never came around to refill our water so I went to the bar and asked for a pitcher or two. I did see him occasionally across the restaurant flirting with other waitresses, but he never came back.
    via joshhupp
  • When we were all done, everyone started panicking because we had a timed event to be at and we weren't getting the bill. Everyone looked to me and I said we're leaving. This being a bunch of church kids, they were upset, but I said if they stop us, we'll pay. We're not being dishonest, but we have to go. The hostess at the door did ask us how our dinner was, which was enough for me to explain that we never saw our waiter all night and we were currently walking out without paying. You should have
    via joshhupp
  • Pining4Michigan When something like this happened to us, my husband--who had worked in the food industry--went to the manager. He told him that he couldn't find our server, the he handed over the tip and told him, "This is for the back staff not our server. They shouldn't miss out because of her." The manager was tongue tied but I bet he couldn't find her either.
    via Pining4Michigan
  • PrincessSnarkicorn NTA. The only time I've ever not tipped was when this happened. I ended up giving the manager 10% in cash and asked him to tip out to the back of house staff who made the food and who shouldn't have to get screwed over because the server ignored us.
    via PrincessSnakicorn
  • Cheezburger Image 10454785024
    via Unsplash+ (and Mika Baumeister)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Killer_Kass NTA. This happened to me once. When we did finally get to order, our plates came out and my partner's food was wrong (his burger was missing bacon we were upcharged for). I mentioned it to the server, although she didn't come back to check on us until we were halfway done the meal. When I mentioned it, she didn't say anything to me just kind of sneered and came back in 10 or so minutes with a single piece of bacon on a plate. Again, she didn't say anything just kind of tossed it on t
    via Killer_Kass
  • The thing is - By that age I was already 2 years into a tech career and had plenty of disposable income. Back then I always tipped 20% min. at restaurants but this time I left nothing. She was pointing at us and loudly complaining to another server when we got up to leave. I think that's one of the last time I went to one of those low/mid-range franchise family restaurants. You get way better service at small pubs and nicer restaurants I've found (as long as you don't look too young then everyon
    via Killer_Kass
  • katarh NTA. I'm almost always a generous tipper. I don't expect the wait staff to be at my beck and call; there are other customers and they've got a lot of juggling to do. But the one time I've ever left a miserly tip was when I was in high school, with a group of other high school students, at a pizza place in the city I've lived in for the last 27 years (but I was from out of town at the time.) We were there for a band camp thing at the local university.
    via katarh
  • We had to wait 15 minutes to place an order. Okay fine, they were busy. Then we had to wait OVER AN HOUR for our pizza. Other patrons came in, ordered, got their food, and left before we had our single large pizza brought out to us. The waitress never gave us an explanation; we had to flag her down twice for drink refills because she never bothered to stop by of her own accord. We felt very neglected the whole time and it was an unpleasant experience all around - and we were almost late to retur
    via katarh
  • Since there were 7 of us, we got auto charged the 6+ group gratuity, but I think we left a penny tip as the additional amount. Almost always I go above and beyond the recommended tip amount, but that p ed us all off to the point that we felt any more money was not earned by that waitress or the restaurant itself. We all then vowed that any of us who moved to that city in the future would never eat there. I boycotted it for over 10 years after I moved here, until the restaurant moved locations.
    via katarh

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