Woman pressures husband’s ex to take her daughter off of her hands, claiming she prefers to live with a stranger, ex refuses to take her in: “I didn’t understand why she would be my responsibility”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 18, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back to the internet gals, guys, and anyone else. Growing up is tough for everyone. We all have our slew of sadness, sorrows, and slogans that we take from life lessons that we never wanted. Life is quite the adventure. Childhood is carefree and playful, but it's also a whole series of constant developments. The learning never stops, the battle of figuring out who you are, who your friends are, and what the meaning of everything is. 

Teenage years are even more rough. You're not young enough to be carefree and be carried around by your parents. But you're not old or mature enough to make your own decisions, live by yourself, or be self-sufficient at all. 

In the story below, it centers around the difficulty of being a child or teenager among absent parents. The protagonist is a woman who got a divorce from her husband when their son together was young. After their divorce, her ex-husband remarried, and they had a daughter of their own. The daughter grows up in an environment that she doesn't feel comfortable in. she feels unseen, unheard, ignored, and neglected. Instead of the parents showing up to treat her better, they try to give her to the protagonist. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not stepping in and taking my son's stepsister into my household?

    "I didn't believe for a second that this girl wanted to live with a stranger"
    via Ni Luh Purnamawati from PurMoon / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I have a son (15) with my ex. My relationship with ex ended when our son was 2 and my ex got married when our son was 5. Ex has a stepdaughter who is now 13 so she was 3 when my ex and her mom got married. On top of the two kids already in the household they had two together making four total between them.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 03
    There has always been mentions of my ex's stepdaughter not being treated very well in the household. Ex's mom has mentioned it to me and so have some of my son's friends who have witnessed incidents while my son was with his dad.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 04
    I didn't see any of when he was first married. But there was a time during the conferences at our son and his stepdaughter's school that I noticed she wasn't spoken to very kindly by her mom or my ex. I had asked my son if he was ever spoken to like that and he said no, they mostly don't say
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 05
    much to him when he's there unless they want him to do chores. He had his own complaints about how his dad never spent any time with him and how he wasn't really home very much so he didn't get why he had to be there. But no being spoken to in such a cruel manner.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 06
    I don't really know the stepdaughter's background or if her dad is around. And I didn't get involved.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 07
    My son was given the choice to spend more time at one parents house than the other. He just can't stop going to either house completely. He chose to spend more of his time with me. After 3- 4 months of him deciding that my ex told me his stepdaughter wanted to come and live with me
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10455674112
    via Kiattisak Lamchan from kiattisaklamchan / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    and would I take her. I said no and I told him I didn't believe for a second that the girl is asking to live with a stranger. Then my son came home from visiting his dad's house and he told me his stepsister had annoyed him all weekend and that she thought she could live with us.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 10
    Ex called a couple of days later and asked me if I believed it now and whether I wanted her or not. I said my answer was unchanged and he should be working on making her happier there. He dismissed the idea.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 11
    A week ago I saw my ex's mom and she mentioned that the girl was put in foster care. She said she knew ex had asked me to take the girl and she didn't understand why I wouldn't when she and my son have lived as siblings most of their lives. I told her she was step grandma and she should've taken her if she
    via u/SimpleLeafton

  • What an entitled couple! She's not even related to this girl and they want her to just take her in? Of course the little girl prefers anywhere other than her home. 

  • 12
    cared so much. Ex's mom and I were always on good terms so her unreasonably blaming me came as a surprise. She told me the difference is the girl wanted. to live with me and she'd been told all about that too. I walked away from her because I didn't want to fight or listen to more of her cr p.
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 13
    But it did make me wonder if I did the wrong thing. I really don't feel responsible for this girl but it doesn't mean I'm not TA either. I still could be. Especially when I knew the household wasn't good for her. AITA?
    via u/SimpleLeafton
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10455673856
    via Deepak Sethi from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This a nightmare situation. 

  • 15
    fiestafan73 • 12h ago NTA, but the fact that one of their children is in foster care should be sufficient grounds for you to petition for full custody of your son. It doesn't sound like they would fight it very hard. Your ex is garbage.
    via u/fiestafan73
  • 16
    DogTheBotHunter • 13h ago None of this makes sense. If she's in foster care, then that means child protective services were called. If they were called, they would have met with your son at least once
    via u/DogTheBotHunter
  • 17
    If she was removed due to ab e, CPS wouldn't leave all the other kids there
    via u/DogTheBotHunter
  • 18
    Kindly Delicious • 13h ago NTA You have no legal responsibility for the child. Your Ex's new wife does and her family, or the father's family. After all, it sounds like it's her kid.
    via u/Kindly Delicious
  • 19
    How much was she going to pay you to raise her kid for her? Poor girl though. Mom gets remarried and now doesn't want her now that she has kids with baby daddy #2.
    via u/Kindly Delicious
  • 20
    Maximal_gain • 12h ago NTA why wasn't the girls fathers family not involved. Sounds fishy...
    via u/Maximal_gain
  • 21
    Amazing-Wave4... • 12h ago Yeah the girl wanted to live with you because your ex put the idea in her head. He and baby momma are behind all of this.
    via u/Amazing-Wave4
  • 22
    A... 11h ago Edited 11h ago If a child in your ex- husband's household had to be placed in foster care | would be much more concerned with allowing your son to continue to reside there. It is extremely rare for an individual child
    via u/AggravatingReveal397
  • 23
    to be removed from care without at least investigating all the children in the home. You are NTA for not taking a child unrelated to you into your home but you need to get real and focus on the issue at hand which is your son's well-being and safety.
    via u/AggravatingReveal397
  • 24
    Tell Granny to mind her own business and contact child services and find out what is going on for your child's sake.
    via u/AggravatingReveal397

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