16 and 19-year-old siblings team up against Mom who insists they stop "lying in bed all day": 'It is unrealistic'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 20, 2025 11:00 AM EST

Those teen years of our lives are formative. As kids transition from that tween stage to their actual teenage years, they have tons of growing to do. Since their bodies are growing and changing rapidly, teens sleep a lot. It seems totally normal for a teen to come home from a long day of school and extracurricular activities and be totally wiped out. If you didn't take a 3-hour nap after school every day as a teen, what were you even doing? 

Once you begin working in life, you don't really stop. If you get a retail job at 17, you get used to having money in your pocket, and you'll probably stick with that gig. The years fly by, and soon your teen years are in the rearview mirror. There are only so many years in your youth that you get to just be a kid, so don't waste your best teen years working a minimum-wage job (if you can help it). Instead, spend your time with friends, pursuing new interests, going for long drives, attending concerts, or visiting new places. Of course, a lot of parents want their kids to start working ASAP for their own personal reasons, like this 43-year-old mom. 

Up next, read about this startling break-up that happened over a $3 ice cream tip: "This tipping stuff is getting out of hand." 

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    Cheezburger Image 10455824384
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for making my 16 year old daughter get a job?"

    I (43f) have 5 kids, but only Rachel (19f), Rose (16f) are important to this story. My kids are homeschooled, Rachel finished her A levels at 18 like normal school but Rose finished her A levels at 16, she is unable to go to university straight away like Rachel as they only accept 18+.
    via u/InevitableCricket901
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    So instead of letting my daughter lie in bed all day, watching TV like she started off with (I let her have a month break because she's worked hard) I got tired of it, and told her it was time to get a job, it would look good for university, and she can start saving up some money for the future. She said she doesn't want a job, she knows the university will want her as she has perfect grades (A or A* in all four of her a levels).
    via u/InevitableCricket901
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    I let her choose by herself for a month, but now I cannot deal with her lying in bed all day. I sat down with her and we made her university application together, I pointed out she has no work experience (gently might I add) and then she started telling me to get off her back and she will get a job soon.
    via u/InevitableCricket901
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    Rachel messaged me telling me that Rose is annoyed at me for always telling her to get a job, and how it is unrealistic to expect a 16 year old to get a job. I am concerned I am TA because she is 16, but I don't think I am because she cannot expect to get into uni just because of her grades, she needs some kind of work experience aswell.
    via u/InevitableCricket901

  • It's not the most straightforward dilema! Some commenters sided with the mom here, telling her that getting her teen up and out into the world was a good idea. Others sided with the kid, telling the mom that she shouldn't be pushing her to get a job. Instead, they suggested she should pursue her interests and hobbies. 

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    [deleted] Aren't 16 year olds meant to do one of the following until they turn 18? stay in full-time education, for example at a college start an apprenticeship or traineeship spend 20 hours or more a week working or volunteering, while in part- time education or training
    via u/[deleted]
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    ston... NAH But part-time, minimum wage jobs are a total waste of time, especially if the financial necessity is not there. She should look for internships in her desired field, or creating her own small business or similar venture.
    via u/ stoneyguruchick
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    [deleted] YTA. You should have allowed her to have the normal trajectory of a teenager... instead she was not only homeschooled but ended 2 years early. What social life does she have? What impetus to have spending money of her own? Independence of her own? 16 is young to think about every move being about college. She needs more.
    via u/[deleted]
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    ETA: I don't think you're an AH for wanting her to have a job... I had one at that age. But I was motivated by the fact I wanted spending money and independence for my robust social life. If she's sitting around all day, doesn't sound like she really has one.
    via u/[deleted]
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    Cheezburger Image 10455824896
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    A few commenters came to the parent's defense, saying she was within her rights to ask her teen to get a part-time job at the very least

    NoTransportation8... NTA. She's literally not doing anything else and 16 year olds getting a job is totally normal. Doesn't have to be full-time or anything, a couple shifts a week won't hurt anyone that is otherwise doing nothing though.
    via u/NoTransportation888
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    jljwc NAH I understand each side. What if she looked for a part-time internship in her area of interest?
    via u/jljwc
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    Akuno_Gaijin Don't want to pass judgement on this one because this is the most gray shaded post in a while. - That said why does it need to be a job? Tell her she has to do something, anything, that isn't sitting around the house all day. Tell her you expect 20 hours (or something around there, but not more than 20) a week to
    via u/Akuno_Gaijin
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    be dedicated to something out of the house, even if it's just going to the park and being there. She is obviously a gifted and smart child and you want the best for her, but just because she accelerated her own graduation, it doesn't mean she should be punished with a job.
    via u/Akuno_Gaijin

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teens job mother teenagers work parenting raising teens daughter money
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