25-year-old daughter refuses mom's demands to pay rent while she lives at home, decides to quit her job so she can't afford it: ‘It's your responsibility as a mother to support me financially’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 30, 2025 7:00 PM EST

Since the cost of living becomes more and more difficult to bear with each passing year, young adults have to find creative ways to get by during the crucial years of their early 20s.

The most common way, and the least creative I would say, is by simply living in their parents' house until they feel like they can afford to move out. Which, For many young adults, that doesn't happen until they no longer are considered 'young'. Kids are moving back to their childhood rooms (or worse, not even moving out) after college, and since they don't have to pay rent, buy groceries, or sometimes even cook and clean, there is basically no reason for them to move out. As long as they don't mind the lack of independence, that is the best arrangement they can get.

The only way for them to finally spread their wings and leave the nest is if their parents push them to do so. Which many parents now find themselves to dor their 20-something-year-old kids, like the mother in the story down below.

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  • "You can't keep living at home for free"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for charging my adult children rent?"

    I 49F have 2 adult children who both still live at home, Emma 25F and lan 23M. Their father and I divorced 12 years ago so it's been the 3 of us for a while now. I had
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  • received child support until they turned 18. Their father had paid it willingly so it wasn't arranged through the courts. This is why he stopped at 18 even though
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  • they were both technically still in school. Fast forward to present day. They both work full time, don't have any debt from school, and both still live at
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  • home. I have asked them repeatedly to contribute a set amount each month towards household expenses since I can't continue supporting them forever. lan
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  • doesn't have a problem with this, but Emma thinks it's my responsibility as her mother. to support her financially until she's ready to move out. I'm not asking them for
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  • much or trying to profit from them, I just want to be able to save for my retirement and be able to retire. I'd be happy with $100 each a week to cover their share of groceries, utilities, and
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  • household supplies. I buy all the groceries, laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc. for the house. They are responsible for their cars and related expenses, cell phones, and personal toiletries.
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  • Some of my daughter's friends live at home for free, but those friends also live in a home with both parents working. My daughter has actually said she will quit her
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  • job and go on social assistance just so she can't afford to pay me rent. So internet strangers, AITA for asking my adult children to pay rent to live at home?
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  • It must be pretty hard for a parent to stand up to their kids and tell them they can't keep living at home for free. As a parent, you want to be able to give your kids everything. But it is also important to acknowledge that giving your kids everything you got is not healthy, and definitely not setting them up correctly for real life. If you keep coddling them, they will never be able to make it on their own. 

    That is the lesson the daughter in the story needs to learn.

  • Lag 1724 YTA you don't charge your kids rent.
    via Lag1724
  • New-Map-6851 OP I want them to contribute to household expenses so I'm not financially supporting them. I'm not trying to profit from them, but if they continue to live at home for free, I won't be able to afford to retire because of it.
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  • toukolou NTA, but $10k+/yr from both kids is a bit steep, imo.
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  • New-Map-6851 OP That works out to about $13/day per kid. That's not enough to cover 3 meals and utilities. They both eat breakfast at home and dinner. For lunch they either take leftovers or make a sandwich.
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  • Rich_Muffin4820 I Will go with NTA. But i Will say this to, i dont understand why Americans ask for rent to their kids, or kick them out (not you in this case about kicking them).
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  • I (31yo) come back from living out to my parents house again they never ask for rent (i help with utilities) i know its about culture, but at the same time its Strange forme
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  • New-Map-6851 OP I'm actually of Eastern European descent and live in Canada. I can't afford to support myself and 2 adult children on my income. If they want to live here, they can. But they need to contribute to household
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  • expenses. By asking $100/week, they would not be covering what it costs me for them to live here. We have to pay for water per litre used and wastewater as well. The additional showers and laundry itself, adds up very quickly!
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  • yarn_slinger NTA but what is your son contributing? Is he giving you the same grief?
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  • New-Map-6851 OP Son is contributing about $50 a week. He doesn't expect to live here for free and does what he can. He also mows the lawn and shovels the snow without me asking.
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  • thecapitalpointehole NTA. I would say it is time to tell your daughter if she can't pay you rent/shared expenses money, then it is time for her to move out. Maybe she needs to learn how living on her own
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  • costs to appreciate what you have been providing or what a great deal $100/week is. She is an adult. You shouldn't be subsidizing her to your detriment.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10459983360
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Flat_Contribution707 NTA. Tell Emma that she has 3 options: 1. Start paying a hundred a week to cover what she uses so she can still live with you
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  • 2. Convince her Dad to let her move into his place so he can 100% support her indefinately 3. Find her own place alone or with roommates. Tell her the free ride is over. You love her but you're not going to subsidize a mooch.
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  • bokatan778 NTA, but honestly I think it would be best for everyone if Emma moved out. Give her a 30 or 60 day notice. She desperately needs to experience real life.
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  • houseonpost NTA: If they were going to school I wouldn't charge rent. But given they are working there should be a nominal rent. $400 for rent and groceries etc is very reasonable.
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  • I'd be more assertive and tell, not ask. Sounds like lan will pay which will make it seem easier to get Emma to pay. I'd change the password on the internet and give it only to people who pay their rent. Time to unfeather the nest.
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  • pinkpink0430 NTA given their age. I lived at home until 25 and didn't pay rent but I don't think it's crazy for you to ask. I do however think $400 a month is pretty steep to essentially rent a room
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  • in someone's house. You'd be getting $800 total a month from them which I'm sure is way more than their portion of food and utilities
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family drama aita kids mother siblings reddit story parenting rent paying rent family sister Reddit mom money women parents children Father
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