11-year-old daughter gets rejected by stepdad when she asks to start calling him Dad, strangers on the internet come to her defense and reprimand him: ‘Listen to her’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 26, 2025 7:00 PM EST

While family dynamics can be complicated, they can also be really simple, we just tend to complicate them by overthinking and overanalyzing situations for no apparent reason. In the situation below, what could have been a beautiful moment between a brave young kid and her father, turned out to be an unnecessary family drama, and we feel for the daughter who had to deal with her stepdad's uncertainty. 

It takes a lot of courage to step up and tell someone how you feel, and ask something of them in the process, especially as a kid.

When I was 11, I was so shy I could barely order my own food. I wish I had the courage to tell people what I really think or want, and be true to myself and my feelings. I was afraid of rejection, and stories like these sadly remind me why. I don't know how I would have handled the situation if I were in this daughter's shoes, but I hope the stepdad won't take long before he makes things right by her.

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  • 01
    "I'm not her biological dad, I don't want to take that title away from her real dad"
    via Comstock

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITAH for refusing to let my stepdaughter call me Dad?"

    I, (35M) married my wife (34F) 5 years ago. She has a daughter (now 11) from a previous relationship. Her biological dad has been mostly absent, and
    via leodub_
  • 03
    I've been the one raising her like my child since we got married. Recently, she asked if she could start calling me Dad. While I love her and
    via leodub_
  • 04
    think of her as my own, I told her no. I explained that I'm not her biological dad, and I don't want to take that title away from her real dad, even if he
    via leodub_
  • 05
    isn't very present. She got upset, my wife said I should reconsider, and now I feel like I've messed up. I thought I was being
    via leodub_
  • 06
    respectful, but now I'm second-guessing myself. AITAH?
    via leodub_

  • People had a lot to say about how the stepdad handled the situation and how he made his poor stepdaughter feel. Below are some of the most important responses to the stepdad's question. They felt the need to explain to the dad that while his intentions were in the right place, he was putting them towards the wrong people, and I couldn't have agreed more.

    Let's just hope that he finds it in himself to apologise to his daughter, and not give her another reason to not trust the men in her life…

  • 07
    mindfulwonders Her working up the courage to ask this of you took a lot. It's an honorable thing and speaks to her connection to you, I'd reconsider if you plan on being in her life for the long haul.
    via mindfulwonders
  • 08
    Less Thought9864 In her eyes....she probably feels like now she was rejected by not just one, but two fathers. I reallllllly hope you reconsider this. I can only imagine how
    via Less_Thought9864
  • 09
    unwanted she feels and I can guarantee that was absolutely not your intention. Go give her a hug and talk to her in depth about how you feel and LISTEN TO HER FEELINGS
    via Less_Thought9864
  • 10
    please. If this isn't handled properly, she will forever seek out validation from a man. Speaking from experience. Good luck, Dad
    via Less_Thought9864
  • 11
    TheRealRedParadox Dude, most step dads dream of the situation you have. She wants YOU to be her dad, why force her to call the guy who abandoned her dad when you have been her dad for most of her life? Listen to what she wants cause all you've done is tell that 11 year old girl that neither of her dads want her. Edit: YTA
    via TheRealRedParadox
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10458573056
    via Yuganov Konstantin

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    ShaHocks Why would you "raise her as your own" but then not allow her to call you Dad? That doesn't make any sense. And you've made her feel rejected
    via ShaHocks
  • 14
    when she's already been abandoned by her biological father. You need to talk to her and explain your intentions.
    via ShaHocks
  • 15
    Only End9228 I think a person can have 2 dads. If she asks you and you would like it, maybe reconsider :)
    via Only_End9228
  • 16
    leodub OP Fair point, I hadn't thought of it that way. Maybe I'm overthinking it......... thanks for giving me a new perspective!
    via leodub_
  • 17
    Majestic Daikon_1494 Respectfull to who? The wife whose family you live with and the daughter you're meant to be a father figure to? or respectfull to some random
    via Majestic_Daikon_1494
  • 18
    dude you havent probably even met but he knocked a woman up and now has life rights over a girl?
    via Majestic_Daikon_1494
  • 19
    T9Para It's time to Right this Wrong IMMEDIATELY. Set up a special time. The 3 of you should go to a "dress-up" restaurant. (Something she'll never want to forget)
    via T9Para
  • 20
    While there, give her a "To my daughter" card, and sign it. Love DAD I've never had any kids of my own, but later in my life, I gained 2 adult children. I'm up to 4 grands and 1 Greatgrand children.
    via T9Para
  • 21
    mness1201 Yta for prioritising the feelings of an absent man over an actual present girl that you raise as your own child. Heart beaking to think about how brave that girl was to ask,
    via mness1201
  • 22
    and how crushed she must have been when you turn her down. If you were really rasing of her as your child you would have said yes. And dealt with bio-dad when he actually shows up.
    via mness1201
  • 23
    Ok Faithlessness9241 In a situation like this where the father isn't very present, and the daughter wants to call you dad then just let her!
    via Ok_Faithlessness9241
  • 24
    omrmajeed YTA. Sorry dude, you werent being respectful, you were being stupid.
    via omrmajeed

Tags

family drama aita kids mother reddit story parenting stepdaughter dad family stepdad daughter Reddit mom mistake weird parents children Father
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