Father disconnects from daughter after she refused to let him walk her down the aisle at her wedding, she begs him for forgiveness in light of her first child being born: “She’s been calling a lot and crying”

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    AITAH for not wanting to maintain a bond with my granddaughter after my daughter asked her uncle to walk her down the aisle at her wedding

    "She asked her uncle to walk her down the aisle instead❞
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    For context, a month before my daughter married her husband, I filed for divorce from my wife. My wife had emotionally cheated on me for a couple of months, and I couldn't really get over it.
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    Now while the timing wasn't great, I just did not want to be with my wife anymore, and I did not want to pretend to be happy with her. My wife and I informed our daughter, and we were honest about what happened since our daughter was an adult.
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    However, my daughter was devastated, and asked how could I do this to her just a month before her wedding. She said her mom clearly regretted what happened, and was desperately trying hard to save the marriage. But my daughter said regardless, she understood my decision to divorce, but why would
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    I do it just a month before her wedding and the happiest day of her life.
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    The whole thing was a mess, but my daughter did get over the shock after a week or so. But my daughter was really angry with me, and even though I was invited to the wedding, she withdrew the invitation for walking her down the aisle, and she asked her uncle to walk her down the aisle instead. It
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    did really hurt me, but it was also my daughter's special day so I didn't throw any fuss, and at the end of the day, I was happy for my daughter. She atleast did the father daughter dance with me.
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    Cheezburger Image 10464767744
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    However, after the wedding, I gradually distanced myself from my daughter. My daughter understood the reason for it. A year later, my daughter apologized for not asking me to walk her down the aisle. I told her it was ok, and there was no reason to apologize, but there was also no reason for us to have a bond anymore. My daughter thankfully understood my decision.
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    It hurt me telling all these things, because my daughter looked really sad. But it was time I put myself first.
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    A few months ago, my daughter gave birth to her first baby. And over the past couple of months, my daughter has been calling a lot and apologizing and crying, because she really wants her daughter to have a bond with me. But the truth is I just don't care. I feel emotionally detached, and at this
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    stage in my life, I don't want to put effort into someone who betrayed me so badly. AITAH?
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    reddit-just-now ⚫4h ago I lost my Mum two years ago. Now, your ex-wife is (thankfully!) still alive, but your daughter's behaviour, and yours, remind me of my own behavior and my father's following the loss of my Mum.
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    Just....pain, everywhere. I couldn't talk to my Dad, because I couldn't handle his pain, as well as my own. My Dad now feels emotionally distant from all his children, even those who've been in constant contact, (and by extension, from his grandchildren) because he's
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    numb with grief and (understandably!) resentful because his later years aren't going as he planned. What you (and your daughter) are experiencing sounds like anger masking grief. It is totally understandable, but my best advice is to talk to
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    your daughter and enjoy your grandchild. Let the child heal the rift between you. There's a whole new vista of love and adventure wrapped up in that kid for you, right there. It's not really a matter of "who's the AH?" It's a matter of what's going to make the rest of your life happiest. I'm an
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    internet stranger, so disregard if you like, but...I'd be grabbing the new opportunity. for joy and love with both hands if I were you! All the best.
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    Trraumatized • 4h ago "There was no reason for us to have a bond anymore" What the absolute.. what? I can't follow that at all.. that's so far out...
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    themcp 3h ago NTA for feeling that way. YTA for telling your daughter that everything is fine and she did nothing wrong and all is forgiven, while getting increasingly angry about it.
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    This gave her no chance to mend fences with you because she didn't know anything is wrong.
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    You need to get some therapy, for yourself. This won't necessarily make you forgive her and have a relationship with your grandchild, but it may help you deal with what happened, and may help you to understand if you do or don't want to have a relationship
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    with either your child or your grandchild going forward. It may also help you understand if you do or don't want to ask your daughter to attend family therapy with you.

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