"Cool aunt" buys 9-year-old nephew a brand new iPhone without mom's consent, sisters scuffle over gift in front of guests at birthday party: "Everyone his age has one"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 16, 2025 6:00 PM EST

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? Those who were already adults in the late 90s and early 2000s had totally cell phone-free childhoods; maybe you had a pair of walkie-talkies to communicate with your friends with for fun. I grew up in one of the first generations of child cell phone users. I got my first flip phone in the 7th grade, and by the time I was a freshman in high school, I had an iPhone 5. These still might be considered reasonable ages to give kids phones, especially basic models that are used solely for communication, but every family is different. 

In our story today, a 9-year-old boy's "cool aunt" buys him an expensive iPhone for his birthday. The issue our protagonist, his mother, has with the gift isn't so much the price; she's annoyed that the gift was bought without her approval. To read the full story, scroll down below.

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  • 01

    AITAH uninviting my sister my sons birthday party after she gave him very expensive gift didn't approve ?

    "She still went ahead and got him an iPhone 16 Pro Max with max storage. A brand new phone. He's 9."
    via Deyan Georgiev

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Okay, so I (35F) have a son, "Jake", who just turned 9. This year I decided to keep his birthday party a little smalle just close family and a few of his friends. I'm not into extravagant gifts and I made it clear to everyone that I didn't want anyone spending
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 03
    a lot of money on presents for Jake. I even suggested something simple like a nice book, or a craft kit, just something that encourages his creativity and interests since he's been spending a lot of time on video games already.
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 04
    13
    via Lazy_Bear

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    My sister, Jenna (33F), is...well. she has a very different idea of what "appropriate" gifts are. She's well off and loves going all out with her presents, which is great but it's always a bit much for me. I've told her several times in the past to keep things low-
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 06
    key, but she kinda brushes it off. This year, I thought I was clear enough about the kind of gifts I wanted, but she still went ahead and got Jake an iPhone 16 Pro Max with max storage. A brand new phone. He's 9.
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10468774144
    via Serhii Yevdokymov

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    When she showed up at the party and gave it to him, I was stunned. and then pretty angry Jake was obviously thrilled, but I was furious. An iPhone is way too much for a kid that young-especially since he's not even allowed to have a phone yet. I've been
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 09
    really strict about screen time and want to ease him into that stuff, not throw him into a whole new world of expensive gadgets that he doesn't need or even understand. Plus he already spends a decent amount of time on his playstation for video games
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123

  • The price is irrelevant; people can spend what they want on gifts. However, gifting something as contentious as a cellphone to a young boy without discussing with his parents is crossing a major line.

  • 10
    I took the phone away from Jake in front of everyone and told him we'd talk about it later. Then I pulled Jenna aside and told her that I wasn't comfortable with her giving him such an expensive gift, and that I'd rather return it than have Jake
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123

  • Maybe taking the phone away in front of everyone was the wrong move; she could've let him ride the euphoria of getting a cool gift and let him down in private.

  • 11
    receive it. She got upset and said I was being unreasonable and that I was depriving my son of something everyone else his age has. She also said I was sabotaging her relationship with him by not letting her be the "cool aunt."
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10468774400
    via oksanashufrych

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    I told her she had crossed a line and, honestly, I didn't want her at the party anymore because it felt like she was disrespecting my rules as a parent. She left early, and now I'm getting messages from other
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 14
    family members calling me controlling and harsh, escpially from my parents. They say Jenna just wanted to make Jake happy, and I overreacted. Some people even think I humiliated her in front of everyone, and that I should've just been more gracious.
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 15
    So, AITAH for uninviting my sister over her gift? AITAH if I don't apologize?
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 16
    Direct Surprise2828 I'm with you OP. I think an iPhone 16 pro is way too much for a nine-year-old! I'm just curious, though, when you tell people not to be "extravagant", are you defining that for them? Meaning, are you maybe giving them like a dollar maximum? "we're asking everyone to keep the gifts under $100." Or whatever figure you decide on.
    via u/Direct_Surprise282
  • 17
    Emotional_Fan_7011 For real! My almost 10 year old has a "phone". It is one of our old models, and it only works on wifi. It allows him to watch YouTube and play some games without having to use my phone or his father's.
    via u/Emotional_Fan_7011
  • 18
    Mountain-Taro-123 OP I didn't define it but thought it would be around $50-100 cap depending on who we told, if my sister got something that was closer to that range maybe, but of course she got a $1.5k phone
    via u/Mountain-Taro-123
  • 19
    MichaSound Doesn't even matter what she spent - getting a phone for a kid without discussing with parents first is waaayy over the line. The age at which a kid gets their first phone is a parenting decision.
    via u/MichaSound
  • 20
    jrm1102 NTA - I think she can spend what she wants on a gift BUT some gifts need parental approval. A phone is one of them, especially if its their first phone.
    via u/jrm1102
  • 21
    afk_scorpio66 NTA Oh in their right mind thinks it's appropriate to give a phone, (especially That child's first phone) to someone else's child???? And doing it without saying anything to the parents and just letting the child open that in front of everyone makes you the
    via u/afk_scorpio66
  • 22
    bad guy as you haven't discussed any type of rules or boundaries about phones with your child yet. So now you have to take his present straight away because You guys haven't gone through the correct steps of making sure the child is one ready for a phone And is ready to respect the boundaries of having a phone.
    via u/afk_scorpio66
  • 23
    I understand that in today's world phones are somewhat necessary and a child having a phone to just be able to contact their parents Whenever is a very good thing. But until they are like 16 or even 17,
    via u/afk_scorpio66
  • 24
    they don't need anything besides a flip phone. A 9- year-old does not need all of these apps and unfiltered access to the internet. They do need a communication device that can text and call but besides that they don't need anything else.
    via u/afk_scorpio66
  • 25
    RevolutionaryCow7961 I agree the sister was way out of line buying the 9 year old a phone without getting approval first. But I disagree that they only need a flip phone until 16 or 17, By age 12 smart phones are the
    via u/RevolutionaryCow7961
  • 26
    norm. If you want your kid to stick out like a sore thumb this is the way to do it. Kids stay in touch through their phones. That's the world they live in. Parents can put safeguards on the phones. They can check the phone And can see what the kid is doing.
    via u/RevolutionaryCow7961
  • 27
    ZookeepergameWise774 Irrespective of whether or not a 9 year old should have an iPhone 16, you have created a very strong, very traumatic memory for your child. He was given a gift, (admittedly, not an ideal one, given his age)
    via u/ZookeepergameWise774
  • 28
    which he was thrilled by, by his aunt, whom, presumably, he loves. He was given this gift on his birthday, in front of his family and you took it away, then started a fight with his aunt, causing her to leave. - You meant well, but your actions are quite likely to have some unintended consequences.
    via u/ZookeepergameWise774
  • 29
    Katherine610 Agreed, she could have taken it away later or talked about it later, but to do that on his birthday in front of everyone was childish it's self. Poor kid had his birthday ruined because of mum.
    via u/Katherine610
  • 30
    Healthy_Brain5354 Agree. She handled it badly. If aunt didn't want to return the phone then mom could have set boundaries about its usage (for example he only gets it for 2 hours or whatever and it stays with mom otherwise). She is jealous of aunt's money and showed that to everyone.
    via u/Healthy_Brain5354
  • 31
    Crazy_catLady_2023 ESH I'm more concerned about how humiliated your son was by his mother's and aunt's power struggle at his party in front of his friends.
    via u/Crazy_catLady_2023

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