"That's future me's problem": 59-year-old mother sells everything to live her "dream life" traveling Europe, rejected by 29-year-old son years later when she attempts to move in with him after running out of money to fund lifestyle

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 18, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Do you ever leave a big, old mess for someone else to deal with? And by "someone else," I mean you, but in the future? This tends to happen to me personally on Friday nights; I like to cook a big meal with an entree, a main dish, some sides, and a dessert. Consequently, I end up with a pile of dishes in the sink at the end of the evening which I never have the strength to deal with in the moment – especially since I am usually quite stuffed with food. The Saturday morning version of me that just wants a cup of coffee is not usually grateful for my choices. 

In our story today, our protagonist's mother has a similar philosophy of letting the future version of herself deal with the consequences of her present actions. She sells all her belongings to live her dream life in Europe, and when the funds run out, comes crawling to her son and is surprised when their wants and needs are not aligned. Scroll down for more. 

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  • 01

    AITA Refusing Let My Mom Move After She Sold Her House Travel?

    "I can't keep saving her from herself.”
    via MStudioImages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (29M) mom (54F) has always been a free spirit. She had me young and raised me mostly on her own, and while I love her, she's never been the most responsible person. She always followed her heart,
    via u/The_Maven999
  • 03
    even when it made no financial sense. Growing up, we struggled because she quit jobs impulsively or spent money she didn't have. I learned early to be independent because I never felt like I could fully rely on her.
    via u/The_Maven999
  • 04
    Five years ago, when I was finishing college, she decided to sell her house, quit her job, and travel. She said she'd spent her whole life being "tied down" and now deserved to "live" I asked what she'd do when the money ran out, and she just
    via u/The_Maven999

  • Haven't we all dreamed of dropping it all and traveling the world? I usually get the urge while binge-watching Anthony Bourdain reruns. 

  • 05
    laughed, saying, "That's future me's problem." Family tried to talk her out of it, but she was determined. She sold the house, got rid of most of her belongings, and spent the next few years hopping from country to country, posting about her "dream life" on social media.
    via u/The_Maven999
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    Cheezburger Image 10469668096
    via LuckyImages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Well, "future her's problem" has arrived. A few months ago, she called me, sounding anxious. She admitted she was broke and had no place to go. She asked to stay with me and my fiancée (28F) for
    via u/The_Maven999
  • 08
    "a little while" until she figured things out. The problem? We just bought our first home. a small two bed house that we barely have space in. We're also planning our wedding and looking forward to finally building our own life.
    via u/The_Maven999
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    Cheezburger Image 10469668352
    via Gpoint Studio

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I told her I was sorry, but she couldn't move in. I offered to help financially for a bit, maybe cover rent for a cheap apartment but she got really upset. She
    via u/The_Maven999
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    said I was selfish and ungrateful, that she "sacrificed everything" to raise me, and now I was abandoning her. She told me that family helps family and I was acting like a stranger.
    via u/The_Maven999

  • It's quite entitled of Mom to not even be open to compromise. Her son offered to pay for an apartment – a very generous offer – yet she insists on having it her way.

  • 12
    I reminded her that she ignored everyone's warnings and that I shouldn't have to put my life on hold for her choices. She started crying, saying I didn't
    via u/The_Maven999
  • 13
    understand how hard it was to be alone and broke at her age. That part made me feel guilty because I do get that she's scared and struggling. But at the same time, I can't keep saving her from herself.
    via u/The_Maven999
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    H B N DOLLAR 0 CL/C
    via Alexander's Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Now, family members are reaching out, saying she's my mother and I owe it to her. My fiancée supports my decision but feels bad too. AITA for refusing to let my mom move in after she gambled her entire future away?
    via u/The_Maven999
  • 16
    starrytwinkleglow NTA your mom made her choices knowing full well that they could lead to this. She even laughed off concerns about what would happen when the money ran out. Now that reality has hit, she expects you to clean up the mess.
    via u/starrytwinkleglow
  • 17
    The Maven999 OP Exactly. She made those choices knowing the risks, and now expects me to clean up the mess. I want to help, but I can't sacrifice my own future for her mistakes.
    via u/The_Maven999
  • 18
    anon_notanon You were "future me's" backup plan from the beginning.
    via u/anon_notanon
  • 19
    uwu-2006 NTA Your mom made a series of reckless decisions, fully aware of the risks, and now expects you to clean up the mess. It's not like she
    via u/uwu-2006
  • 20
    fell on hard times due to bad luck she chose to blow through her money with zero plan for the future. Offering financial help was already generous, and she had no right to guilt-trip you.
    via u/uwu-2006
  • 21
    definitelytheA And apparently, she clung to her fantasy, even after she started getting low on funds. Which is when she could have/would have had enough reserves to get herself set up in an apartment and a job.
    via u/definitelytheA
  • 22
    Instead, she rode that fantasy until she was too broke to obtain her own housing. 54 is not to old to work or get a job. She may have to rent a room share or get a roommate, and that's a result of the choice she made.
    via u/definitelytheA
  • 23
    Valley OakPaper NTA Do not allow her to move in. She will never leave. The tell is that she refused your reasonable offer of helping her secure an apartment.
    via u/ValleyOakPaper
  • 24
    Do not let her manipulate you into taking her in. At 54 she really should be financially supporting herself.
    via u/ValleyOakPaper
  • 25
    zenFieryrooster Agree. She is mad because OP frustrated her plans of squatting, which would have destroyed OP's relationship with her fiancé. And relatives are mad because they don't want to have to keep saying no when they get hit up for help because they are also aware of her intentions to squat. NTA
    via u/zenFieryrooster
  • 26
    GruffPastures Those family members who are reaching out to you can let your mother live with them.
    via u/GruffPastures
  • 27
    Sure-Acadia-4376 The perfect answer. They'll shut up pretty quick when they're the ones who need to house her or loan money.
    via u/Sure-Acadia-4376
  • 28
    sschlott72 She sold her house and your "home base" before you were even out of college. She was willing to cast aside your safety net with nary a thought, you don't owe her anything. You didn't just get born on your
    via u/sschlott72
  • 29
    own. You owe her nothing and your offer of financial support is more than generous. If she doesn't accept it it's because she doesn't want to work and instead wants you to fully support her.
    via u/sschlott72
  • 30
    Mental-Paramedic9790 If she still has the travel trailer, you could very easily pay the rent for her to park at someplace. Or let me guess... She got rid of it already.
    via u/Mental-Paramedic9790

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