Cheap bride charges her sister a $150 bridesmaid fee, despite already making her pay $300 for a bridesmaid dress: 'I told her I couldn’t afford it and that it felt wrong to charge me to be a part of her wedding.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 24, 2025 8:00 PM EST

It ain't cheap to be a bridesmaid. This autumn I had my very first bachelorette experience, and while I didn't go into debt for it, it certainly cost more than I initially expected. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to go on a nice trip with all of your besties and party for one big weekend celebrating your upcoming wedding. I also don't think there's anything wrong with declining going on a bachelorette trip, but still wanting to be a bridesmaid. The expected cost for a bridesmaids dress is way less than going on a fancy vacation where you're eating out three meals a day and partying all night. I understand that some people are willing to spend a ton of money for something like that, but not having those funds doesn't make you any less of a friend and shouldn't disqualify you from serving as a bridesmaid on the big day. 

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  • The bride in this story knew how expensive her bachelorette party would be, so instead of splitting the costs among the attendees like a normal person would, she charged $150 upfront as a “bridesmaid fee.” No matter how you swing it, the optics of charging a fee to be a bridesmaid is less than optimal. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10472518656
    via Valerie Elash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to attend my sister’s wedding after she tried to charge me for being a bridesmaid

    I have always been close to my sister, Lily, but our relationship has been rocky lately. A couple of months ago, Lily asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, which I was excited about. I've always supported her, and I thought this would be a special moment.
    via u/sleepy-apple12
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    But then, she gave me the list of 'requirements' for the bridesmaids. The dress was over $300, and she said we needed to pay for our own hair, makeup, and even accessories. I wasn't thrilled about the price but thought it was part of the deal, and I'd find a way to make it work.
    via u/sleepy-apple12
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    dermaid eamaididcoman
    via Christina Victoria Craft

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    However, a few weeks ago, she called me and said I also needed to pay for a 'bridesmaid fee'- $150 to cover her costs for the bachelorette party, decorations, and 'just to help out.' I was shocked. I asked if that was really a thing, and she said, 'Well, everyone else is chipping in.'
    via u/sleepy-apple12
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    I told her I couldn't afford it and that it felt wrong to charge me to be a part of her wedding. She got angry, saying I was being 'selfish' and 'ruining her special day.'
    via u/sleepy-apple12
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    via Emil Kalibradov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    After thinking about it, I realized I just couldn't do it. I told her I wouldn't be attending the wedding if that was the case. She went silent, and now the rest of the family is mad at me, calling me petty and saying I should just 's k it up.' AITA for refusing to attend and be charged to be a bridesmaid?
    via u/sleepy-apple12
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    sleepy-kiwi12 charging for bridesmaid duties? whats next? an invoice for attending the wedding?
    via u/sleepy-kiwi12
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    StarsBear75063 Don't laugh. I've seen it from a friend who was invited and charged "admission".
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    ISmokeWinstons What the f ! I've attended multiple weddings that took place in museums that charge admission except the admission was free for the wedding. I cannot imagine a single universe where that would be okay :/ Did your friend end up paying the admission?
    via u/ISmokeWinstons
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    No-Witness-4082 There was a couple that charged their guests $450 to attend their wedding. Needless to say, attendance was sparse. The couple took to social media to "callout their cheap invitees," and ended up getting dragged!
    via u/No-Witness-4082
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    DefNotVoldemort Tell me you can't afford your wedding without saying you can't afford your wedding
    via u/DefNotVoldemort
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    BowtiedGypsy Isn't this all sort of normal? Typically the bridesmaids split the cost of the bachelorette, no? It doesn't sound like she's being charged to be a bridesmaid, and surely in 2025 most people understand there's a cost associated with being a bridesmaid. Dress/hair/makeup could be debated I guess, but if it's optional I don't really see an issue with it.
    via u/BowtiedGypsy
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    Waste-Philosophy-458 Yeah I feel that it wasn't so much the cost but they way it was presented. But I have never been in a wedding thar asked me to pay $600 for a dress simply because people in the wedding party came from all different incomes and that was accounted for in the plans. $150 for an overnight or multi day bachelorette is pretty reasonable though.
    via u/Waste-Philosophy-458
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    Wakemeup3000 NTA. When someone tells you that you are being selfish and ruining something in their life its the adult version of a toddler temper tantrum for not getting their way. The $150 fee will turn into something more since everyone else is going along with it. Why contribute to her wedding slush fund?
    via u/Wakemeup3000
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    ellierobinsonz NTA. Being a bridesmaid is already a big commitment and expecting you to pay extra just to be included is unreasonable. If she values your presence, she wouldn't be charging you for it.
    via u/ellierobinsonz
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    Petefriend86 NTA. I'm at the point in my life where if things cost money, sometimes they just don't happen. I'll attend a wedding, but I can't just drop a grand (or even half that) for anyone else's special day.
    via u/Petefriend86
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    sleepy-apple12 OP yes i agree, i need to save some money to build my own things too :/
    via u/sleepy-apple12
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    Deep_Rig_1820 this Btw.,........There is no bridesmaid fee. She is making up, and her excuse about everyone shipping in, is because no one else questioned this stupid made up fee. Just don't go. Let the family say what they want. She knows she is wrong, but she tries for others to pay for things that are her issue.
    via u/Deep_Rig_1820
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    SockMaster9273 Even if I had a grand, would rather put that in savings or spend that money on myself rather than a wedding for someone I have a rocky relationship with. NTA
    via u/SockMaster9273
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    LindonLilBlueBalls Tell the family that says you are being selfish, "Thank you for covering the bridesmaid fee for me!" Then before they respond, send a text to your sister letting her know which family member is covering the fee for you. Watch as "but they're family" turns into, "but why do I have to pay?"
    via u/LindonLilBlueBalls
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    ocean_lei NTA. It is common for the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses, but so nice if the bride covers that (esp if she wants something really expensive) as well as makeup and hair (if bride not paying, I think the bridesmaids should be able to choose to do their own. It seems to have become a thing for bridesmaids to absorb the bachelorette costs to the bride, but at the same time those have become more and more outrageous, and I think declining to participate in the bachelorette if you cant
    via u/ocean_lei
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    RivSilver I remember when bachelorette parties was a sleepover at someone's house, drinking fizzy things and giving the bride lingerie, and the bachelor party was going to someone's cabin, grilling a bunch of meat and drinking beer and whisky. I still haven't figured out how the economy got worse and weddings still got more expensive
    via u/RivSilver
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    Desperate Fly3430 Bridesmaid fee Imfao
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    bubblyfairykiss Fr like it's some kind of high-end amusement park ride lol. sister out there doing Pay-to-Play scheme like she's launching the latest wedding DLC.
    via u/bubblyfairykiss

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bachelorette bride wedding party bridesmaids Crazy Brides sisters siblings bachelorette party wedding brides sibling sister bridezilla money bridesmaid dresses
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