Adopted 16-year-old refuses to change his first name despite pressure from new family, they cite possible teasing but he stands his ground: "People will expect a more serious name from a grown man"

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for not requesting a first name change to make my parents and family happy?

    "My parents and extended family always hated my name."
  • 02
    I (16m) met my parents when I was 5. They adopted me 11 months after I came to live with them. Before that I was bounced around a bunch of different foster homes. I don't remember them. But I know
  • 03
    there was lots of talks between my parents, birth parents and case worker about how difficult I had been to place because my birth parents saw me occasionally and how people didn't want to invite
  • 04
    that into their lives but my parents didn't mind and how it would be better if they could be my parents. Not just foster parents. After some of those talks I was adopted and joined a family that loved me.
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10472758784
  • 06
    I have some vague memories of my parents petitioning to change my first name when they adopted me. But that was against the protocol for
  • 07
    adopting a kid from foster care or something. Our last names can change but our first names have to stay the same, especially since I was old enough to know and be familiar with my name.
  • 08
    But my parents and extended family always hated my name. Some of them used my middle name but I never liked it and so they used my first name and I could see they hated it.
  • 09
    A few months ago my parents brought up my name and how they feel like I'm old enough to hear that my name could hold me back and cause me to not be taken seriously. They brought up the comments
  • 10
    that I have overheard others making about my name and they told me that won't stop when I'm an adult. And it might actually be worse then because people will expect a more serious name from a grown man
  • 11
    HELLO my name is MIKE
  • 12
    or at least a more official legal name. They wanted me to request a first name change and say it's a choice I made. They said they had some ideas and we could work together. Extended family were in favor of it and encouraged me to go for it.
  • 13
    I told them I didn't want to change my name and I liked my first name at least. They asked me to think on it some more. But I didn't need to because I don't really care if people hate it or treat me differently for it. My name is just my name. People can hate it or love it.
  • 14
    It was suggested a few times that I switch my first and middle names around so I could at least have a normal legal name for paperwork and stuff.
  • 15
    chael Oliver than Liam William
  • 16
    They did give me time to think it over but still bring it up and I still don't want to and I said that. But I can see everyone's getting frustrated with me. My dad
  • 17
    told me to think about my working life and how I would get a lot of sh from other men for my name and it's hard to have them forget if I don't change jobs a lot.
  • 18
    I hate that they're unhappy with me. I haven't talked to anyone about it and I don't want to make more drama out of this. But I hate feeling like they'll be mad if I won't change my name.
  • 19
    For those who'll ask my name is Wolfie. That's not short for anything. It's my actual first name. Chosen by my birth parents. AITA?
  • 20
    Nta Many-Pirate2712 Just tell them it's the one thing that has been with you your whole life and you like it
  • 21
    this!!!! rockingcrochet Out of the perspective of a child that was pushed around from "home" to "home" for a time during childhood (the phase where a lot of shaping/ imprinting happens to a childs memory/ self identification/ etc) is one thing stable: the name.
  • 22
    Everything changed. For some former foster children a lot of times. Surroundings, people, places to stay, safety, .... imagine to be pressured to loose the last stable bit too.
  • 23
    Wynter Young As someone who was in foster care and had my last name changed 3 times, you are so right. We want to keep a part of ourselves.
  • 24
    ElleSmith3000 These adoptive parents are making a terrible mistake, OP you have a right to your name of choice and you've been so displaced during your life you especially deserve whatever identity you choose. BTW I find nothing off putting or weird about your name—so what it's a bit unusual? Many people have unique names.
  • 25
    CrazyCatMerms I agree, I've ran into a lot of people with different names ranging from hippie style - Moon, Stormy, to traditional names from their culture. Only one I ever thought that the poor guy saddled with it should change was Romeo. He said the jokes were incessant, more so as he became an adult
  • 26
    Indiml Exactly. I thought it's gonna be way worse but Wolfie isn't a bad name. Kind of ridiculous that parents think it will affect OPS professional life cause coworkers won't care and in formal settings, when OP has clients etc, they will probably call him by his last name.
  • 27
    I think these parents are just too conservative or something because it's not that uncommon name these days. For example, Dara Huang (famous Harvard educated architect) & Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi (Italian aristocrat / RE developer / UK Princess Beatrice's husband) named their son Wolfie.
  • 28
    Beth21286 In the time of 'Tragedeigh', Wolfie is way better than I was expecting. It's unique, not obscene and sounds like it's spelt. Very few people will care. If anything it's a bit eccentric British aristocracy.
  • 29
    Zandonah Could shorten to Wolf if needed too
  • 30
    Sleepygirl57 I know a kid named wolf. You could just drop the ie part to make it sound more mature. If you don't want to change it then don't. It's your identity.
  • 31
    MaryKath55 I went to school with several boys name 'Wolf', never thought anything of it. All had German heritage. It's a fine name.
  • 32
    BellaDing Dong Yep! Wolf Blitzer (CNN) seems to have done just fine for himself, so the argument about the name not being taken seriously as an adult is kind of weak.
  • 33
    Inevitable-Cress1372 Wolf is a popular name in European countries like the Netherlands, Germany and Poland. It can be short for Wolfgang (Amadeus Mozart!) or a full name.
  • 34
    DrawingTypical5804 I mean, if they want him to change his name, Wolfgang or Wolfe would be my suggestions. Malicious compliance in its finest. He chooses a "more mature" name and keeps Wolfie as a nickname.
  • 35
    gobsmacked247 Eddie Van Halen's son is Wolfgang and he goes by Wolf/Wolfie. It's your badge of honor. Also, there was Wolf Blitzer, a famous newsman. In fact OP, the more unique the name the more your awesomeness stands out in a crowd. I applaud you wanting to keep it.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article