Employee tells boss he needs to take off work to take his sick wife to the emergency room, boss insists he needs him at work: 'I get you may need to take her. But I do need you there today.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 1, 2025 4:00 PM EST

How many of us have been in the situation of explaining in detail why we can't go to work? If you have a job with no guaranteed PTO, it can feel like you need to tell the entire life story to get your boss to approve of you missing a shift. In many hourly positions, you have to get one of your fellow employees to take your shift, or else you aren't allowed to miss it: hence the soliloquies about your misfortunes. When I worked at a dog bakery, my dog was literally in the process of passing away, and even that wasn't enough to get one of my fellow employees to cover my shift. In hindsight, I should've been able to tell my managers about this misfortune and take off without anyone covering my shift because forcing someone to work at a dog bakery while their dog is dying is cruel and unusual, but I digress.

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  • The husband in this story is fully in that habit. He texted his boss early in the morning to tell him that he had to take his wife to the ER because of chronic headaches. Instead of wishing him well, his boss insisted that he had to come in today. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10474123776
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    I took my wife to the ER and this was my boss's reaction. Trying to formulate a reply but I'm just too angry at his utter lack of empathy.

    7:28 AM Good morning. Emergency- I need to go in a woke up few hours late today. violently ill with a worse migraine than I've ever seen her have before. She is throwing up and crying and I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone. I need to take school but want to come back and to reevaluate if I should take her to the ER. Her family has a history of aneurysms and I'm worried that this could be a warning sign... New plan, I'm taking her to ER now Remember I'm already off. I get you may need to
    via u/Maybeiliketheabuse
  • 03
    sweadle 2h ago In the future give less information. "I'm in the ER with a medical emergency. I won't be in today." I have to go to the ER occasionally with migraines. The amount of people who don't understand how that would necesitate an ER visit is a lot. They're like "I get headaches all the time, I just take a tynenol."
    via u/sweadle
  • 04
    PokeyDiesFirst • 1h ago I don't think anyone can truly appreciate/understand the severity of a migraine until they experience one. For years I thought they were just really bad headaches, and then I started getting them. It's like comparing getting shot with a BB g in to getting shot by a tank. They shouldn't even really be called headaches, it's a serious condition that can leave you partially or fully for a long period.
    via u/PokeyDiesFirst
  • 05
    SeveralPhysics9362 • 40m ago I'll honestly say that I have never had a migraine. But when my girlfriend first had one around me I was immediately ready to drive her to ER if it was my call. Not being able to speak coherently and gong half blind? That sounds very serious. But according to her it's nbd. That's normal. As an outsider: that's bonkers.
    via u/SeveralPhysics9362
  • 06
    SuzCoffee Bean • 2h ago Top 1% Commenter That's ridiculous. I hope your wife gets better soon. Start looking for another job honestly.
    via u/SuzCoffeeBean
  • 07
    OkSun5094 • 1h ago definitely do this, my husband got fired for taking one day off to bring me to the ER in an emergency.
    via u/OkSun5094
  • 08
    • guzzijason ⚫ 1h ago Yep. Whenever something like this comes up, my mgmt is like, “no problem - family first! Do whatever you need to do, we got you covered!" And that's a big reason why I'm about to have my 20th anniversary with this company.
    via u/guzzijason
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    Cheezburger Image 10474124288
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    FrostGamezzTV • 2h ago I would simply reiterate "I'm at the ER with my WIFE, I won't be in today" and if he can't comprehend that and makes a deal over it, it sounds like a talk with higher ups is in order, or, easier said than done I know, get a new job and be vocal as to why you're leaving.
    via u/FrostGamezzTV
  • 11
    Jessacakesss ⚫1h ago This. People need to stop over-sharing details of their lives with their bosses. Just give the bare minimum and they can't try and turn it against you.
    via u/Jessacakesss
  • 12
    jwlmkr • 1h ago Seriously be in today." . "I have a medical emergency, I won't
    via u/jwlmkr
  • 13
    r-rb 1h ago Yes. The more details you share, the more it sounds like a negotiation or a bunch of made up excuses. You say "I am at the Emergency Room and I will not be in today." End of story. Mute them.
    via u/r-rb
  • 14
    LilPonyBoy69 • 1h ago Yeah this reads like a trauma response or something, there's no need to give private medical details of your spouse to your boss.
    via u/LilPonyBoy69
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    Cheezburger Image 10474124544
    via Kristina Flour

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    MaritimeMartian • 1h ago I actually wouldn't respond to the bosses text at all. Op informed them of the situation, and that's all Op needs to do. Continuing the conversation at this point wont do any good.
    via u/MaritimeMartian
  • 17
    I understand it's frustrating as h I to get a response like this from your boss, but a reply to their response isn't necessary and only escalates the situation. Boss knows what's up regarding work today, and that's all they need to know and all that matters.
    via u/MaritimeMartian
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    ShadowofAshe ⚫ 1h ago I would also screenshot and immediately send to HR, I know they are mostly there for the company, but this is borderline grounds for a plethora of things. Also get a note direct from the ER and submit it as well. This is completely inhuman. As a boss, it's his responsibility to figure it out regardless of if he is already off.
    via u/ShadowofAshe
  • 19
    Tier_One_Meatball • 1h ago As a reminder, FMLA covers cronic illnesses that can incapacitate spouses, or overnight hospital stays. Migranes are covered under those chronic illnesses.
    via u/Tier_One_Meatball
  • 20
    A_Nice_Shrubbery777 • 2h ago Top 1% Commenter Just a word of advice: Keep emergency texts short and to the point. You don't need to explain everything and it undercuts the seriousness of the communication. "Boss, I am going to be a little late today, I am dealing with a family emergency." If they ask for more information?
    via u/A_Nice_Shrubbery777
  • 21
    "My wife is ill and I may/am taking her to the emergency room." Most bosses don't need, or want, details; They just want to know how it will affect production. Remember: Work is about you making them money; They are not your family. They do not care about you as an individual. You are replaceable. -- Keep this in mind and you won't be disappointed or hurt when this fact of life is thrown in your face.
    via u/A_Nice_Shrubbery777
  • 22
    skoltroll ⚫1h ago "My wife is having a medical emergency. I need to help her." The second he mentioned migraine, this thought, "Just a headache." Don't tell your employer ANYTHING that may allow them to rationalize their behavior.
    via u/skoltroll
  • 23
    Remarkable_Term631 • 2h ago I wouldn't even mention wife. "I have an emergency today and am going to the ER" Vague but true.
    via u/Remarkable_Term631
  • 24
    ffxivthrowaway03 • 1h ago As a boss who does care about his people... still this. I dont need or want details, its none of my business what your issue is unless there was a formal HR request made for an ADA accommodation I need to be mindful of, and you dont have to justify shoto me. I'm not your friend, I'm your boss. "Family emergency, wont be in today" is all I want/need from a workforce management perspective. Hope everything is ok and I'll figure out the "business sh" because thats my job t
    via u/ffxivthrowaway03
  • 25
    CanRova • 2h ago I had to go to the ER recently. My boss took it upon himself to cancel all my meetings, told everyone not to email me for a month and to send all problems to him instead, told me to stay home for the week, and told me not to take any PTO for it. Your boss s_ks, man, I'm sorry. A little humanity goes a long way.
    via u/CanRova
  • 26
    fearofbears 1h ago My boss always rejects my PTO for things like that too. It wasn't always that way in my career, but when you have good leadership it shows in the loyalty, production and morality of your employees. Keep in mind, dumba corporations.
    via u/fearofbears
  • 27
    • CanRova 2h ago 100%. Even if a boss is just self-interested, things like this are short-term investments which pay off for them long-term (I'll work much harder for this boss than others). It's so short-sighted to treat your employees poorly.
    via u/CanRova
  • 28
    BWebCat ⚫2h ago "Gee, I'm sorry, I'll try to plan medical emergencies more conveniently for you."
    via u/BWebCat

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boss emergency text message emergency room terrible-bosses text messages text texts horrible boss Horrible Bosses sick texting bad bosses mildly infuriating
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