21-year-old gets full custody of her 6-month-old sister after parents abandon her, parents come back 3 years later demanding her back: 'My parents did the same with me, giving me to my grandmother till I was 5'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 1, 2025 8:00 PM EST

I do not care what your family situation is: it is not okay to tell kids that the parental figure in their life is "not their real mom" or "not their real dad." We know that that's not okay when a kid is adopted, but what about when they're adopted by family members, like an aunt or an uncle? Family members can have different roles than what society expects them to have. Babies can be uncles if grandparents have babies after their kids. Older siblings can become parents to their younger siblings if their mom or dad are not fit to do so. Familial roles can be incredibly fluid, and just because society prescribes the nuclear family model of one mom and one dad as the end-all be-all, it does not mean that you shouldn't step up where you're needed and fill familial roles appropriate for your family's unique situation. 

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  • The “parents” in this story are real losers. They pawned off their 6-month-old baby to their 21-year-old daughter because they're 40 and too old to have a baby. Flash forward 3 years later, and they want the kid back, even though her sister is the only family she's ever known. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10474336000
    via Jayson Hinrichsen (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I'm currently f24 and my sister is 3 and believes me to be her mum and I haven't corrected her I do tell her she can all me anything. my parents did have us 20 years apart the had me at 20 and her at 40 they complained abt having to look after her so I babysat a lot, and they didn't give me any money for her expenses when
    via u/Human_Singer_2182
  • 03
    she was 6months old I got full custody of her and it was their idea to do so because they told me they were to old for a baby and just stopped talking to me. after a awhile when she turned 2 the wanted her back and took me to court but I refused bc I've been raising her like my own child and can't just give her up. once she
    via u/Human_Singer_2182
  • 04
    started speaking and calling me mummy my mum lost it and told our whole family I stole her because I'm infertile and my whole family is telling me to give her back but I can't just do that I've practically become her mum and we've grown really attached, they didn't care enough to visit her when she was younger and i
    via u/Human_Singer_2182
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    Cheezburger Image 10474333440
    via Jayson Hinrichsen (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    had to name her and take hervti the doctors with my own mone.but family is harassing me about giving her back but I'm trying to explain I can't just do that...My parents did the same with me giving me to my grandmother till I was 5 and from how I grew up they aren't the best parents should I just give her back?
    via u/Human_Singer_2182
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    Cheezburger Image 10474333696
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Flowerofiron "My parents didn't look after her or care for her and wanted to get rid of her. They are only trying to get her back now because they're angry that she calls me mum. I am the only mum she knows. I've raised her, not them. They are just proving how little they care about her by wanting to drag her away from the only parent she's ever known." NTAH You're an amazing human
    via u/Flowerofiron
  • 09
    Frequent_Couple5498 OP said her parents did the same thing to her. So what is it, they don't like changing Pampers and night feedings? Is that it? They don't want to deal with that. But once someone else gets the baby through all that hard stuff they want the child back because now they can feed themselves and wipe their own bt. No. That's cr p. OP's parents do not get to give their baby away till they get older and easier for them. That's bulls. NTA OP. If they signed her over to you, I would s
    via u/Frequent_Couple5498
  • 10
    GothicPearl They gave up their rights, and now they're only upset because of their own ego. You're the only real parent she's ever known, and ripping her away now would only hurt her. Keep doing what's best for her.
    via u/GothicPearl
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    kingxmufasalion They must have missed the memo that you can't just return a kid like a faulty toaster! Keep being the amazing mum she knows-you're clearly the one who's actually plugged in!
    via u/kingxmufasalion
  • 12
    Jealous_Radish_2728 Can you afford to move away? The best thing, when and if you can afford it, is to change jobs, cities, phone number, etc. Just disappear with your sister/daughter and ghost your awful family. You are a wonderful mother, sister.
    via u/Jealous_Radish_2728
  • 13
    geminicookiesncream So basically, your parents want a Netflix subscription to your sister's life without having to pay the monthly fee? I say you keep the remote control and binge- watch those precious moments together
    via u/geminicookiesncream
  • 14
    HeyPrettyLadyMaam I absolutely love this analogy, it fits this situation to a T. What absolute sh parents. I'm sorry your having to fight your "family"....cough, cough, not family....over this. Considering your parents track record you would think the rest would be thrilled this little girl has a fighting chance at a positive childhood instead of being with fly by night parents that done even do basic parenting. Keep protecting your DAUGHTER, because that what
    via u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam
  • 15
    she is at this point. Your egg donor forfeited the right to be called mom the second she gave you her baby and didn't look back. Block everyone, change your number and if you can eventually relocate to a new area and don't let anyone know where you moved. You got this op, and I'm so proud of you for giving a child a chance at a loving family. Your amazing!!! And your NTA
    via u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam
  • 16
    geminicookiesncream Your parents must think they can just hit 'undo' on their parenting decisions like it's a video game. Sorry, but once you hit 'start' on raising a kid, there's no pause button
    via u/geminicookiesncream
  • 17
    sbg-sbg NTA. DO NOT GIVE HER BACK. Your parents are bad parents and don't deserve her. You are her mommy no matter what the biology says.
    via u/sbg-sbg
  • 18
    Cozy Beanszx I mean, if they didn't want to play the parenting game anymore, they shouldn't have signed up for it in the first place! You're basically the main character in this family drama, and I'm here for it!
    via u/CozyBeanszx
  • 19
    Becalmandkind NTA and please be in touch with your lawyer in case they go to court to try to get her back. Be proactive legally.
    via u/Becalmandkind
  • 20
    isla_glowing They treated you like free childcare and then full-on re- gifted a whole baby. Now they wanna act like you kidnapped her?? Lmao, no. You stepped up when they dipped out. The family can "give her back" if they care so much.
    via u/isla_glowing
  • 21
    Angellslington your little girl/sister calls you mum, because you are her mum and your bio, egg doner is pathetic, loads of people have children in their 40s, and let's face it. even in her 20s, since she had no problem with dumping you on your grandparents, she's not exactly mother of the year here. ignore them, but save any ab ive messages, you may need them in the future
    via u/Angellslington
  • 22
    starsofreality NTA They only want her back because she is easier to take care of now. You did the hard early years and now they want the cute toddler. I'd move.
    via u/starsofreality
  • 23
    TheYankcunian NTAH - I have a 17 year old I had at 23 and a 6 month old. I'm 40. My son chooses to spend time with his sister. He's never been asked to change a nappy or babysit. I am not too old for her. I was made to raise my brother and had no childhood. What your parents did is terrible. They don't deserve. her, or you. Hold firm. I'm proud of you for stepping up and protecting her.
    via u/TheYankcunian
  • 24
    tigerz0973 NTA Never give her back! Please ensure that you are legally protected in all aspects of taking responsibility for her. Any backlash from the birth givers flying monkeys just remind them of how poor their parenting skills are and in what world is it acceptable to subject a 3 year old to their indifference?
    via u/tigerz0973

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toddler mother sisters abandoned bad parenting bad parents parenting dad little kids sister mom Parenting Fail parents Father custody Parenting FAILS
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