“It’s just an innocent little girl getting some jewelry”: 18-year-old daughter gets jealous of younger stepsister when she’s gifted jewelry from passed bio mom, father is disappointed in her behavior

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    AITA for showing my dad proof that my mom would have been disgusted with him giving my half sister any of her jewelry?

    "Why is he sharing your mums love with kids who didn't even know her?"
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    My mom did when I (18f) was 11. My dad started another relationship a year later and got remarried when I was 14 and my half sister was born a few months later. When she was two my dad made a big deal out of choosing a ring and a necklace that had been my mom's and saving them for my
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    half sister. At the time I asked dad what he was thinking and why not let me have it all. My mom had already given me the stuff she most wanted me to have. But as her only child I thought it made sense I'd get them. My dad said we were both his daughter's and he did it because he wanted to share his love for mom with my half sister.
  • 04
    We fought over his decision and I told him I'd never support it and I said if he had any more daughters I wouldn't support it then either. Right now he has my half sister (4) and my half brother (18 months).
  • 05
    Right around that time I had started reading the journals mom kept when she was sick. She was sick for like 5 months overall. Her journals showed how scared she was and stuff but it also shared how certain she was dad would marry again and have more kids and how sad it made her. The one
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  • 07
    thing that luckily didn't happen is another woman moving into the home she made perfect for us, because we moved after she did. But she wrote a few pages about hoping the new wife and any future kids wouldn't get her stuff. She wanted it all to go to me if my dad didn't want to keep some and then
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    pass it onto me. She even covered that in the page where she mentioned gifting me the jewelry she did. She just wanted me to have a memory of her sharing that with me and she didn't think giving a 10/11 year old all that jewelry in one go would have made sense. She even wrote that she talked to dad about wanting me to have all that stuff.
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    I sat on it for so long because | didn't want the fight that I knew would happen when I made him confront it. But recently I did bring it up. I moved in with my grandpa in November when I turned 18 and the space from dad helped some.
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    But when dad came to see me a couple of weeks ago he told me he wanted me to embrace the fact my half sister has some jewelry of mom's and he wanted me to show her the stuff I have when she's a little older and connect with her over it. Then I brought up what mom wrote and I even showed him.
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    He asked me where I got the journals and I said they were in a box of papers and stuff. I told him he knew mom had wanted me to have it all and I said her words and how much she brought it up shows she'd be disgusted by his decision just like I was. My dad got upset and told me it was cruel to throw this in his face.
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    We argued over it. He was hurt. He said seeing mom write so much about how much she didn't want him to find happiness with anyone else or have more children stung. That he'd have wanted it for her. And the fact I was so happily throwing all that in his face and the fact an innocent little girl getting some jewelry started all this made
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    him incredibly disappointed in me. I told him I wasn't going to let him believe mom would have wanted or supported this. My dad's wife was ped about dad's emotional state after he got home. Apparently the journals bothered him and the fact I took the stance I did angers her because she feels like I'm being selfish and cruel to my half siblings.
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    She didn't go into why. She also thinks I'm being unfair to dad who now has three kids instead of just me. And who wanted to share his love for my mom with their kids, something she struggled with but ultimately understood. She told me a few nights ago, which all of this with her is via text, that dad's losing
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    sleep over it all now and it's all my fault and I should be proud of myself. AITA?
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    O
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    Quiet-Hamster6509 I'd be asking him and her, what jewellery of mum's did he give to his new wife.
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    kimmysharma Share his love with all his kids. All of your moms belongings are yours alone
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    Only Yellow6957 NTA. it's literally written in plain proof that your mom wanted you to have it. Your dad is torn because he wants to "share" something or your moms with his kids with another woman who will have no memory of your mother.
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    Your dad and his wife are being immature. I say to continue to stand your ground and don't let up. You never even brought up you not wanting the kids to have it, it is simply your mother's wishes.
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    Mountain-Raspberr... NTA. Why is he sharing your mums love with kids who didn't even know her? All the jewellery should be yours and I hope you get the items back that he's given to your half sister.
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    Method Maven • 1d ago "the fact an innocent little girl getting some jewelry started all this made him incredibly disappointed"
  • 23
    This is an incredibly manipulative remark. 'Dad' is the one who gave the jewelry to his new kid, not anyone else. 'Dad' is the one who started this by having such poor judgement. Plus, it isn't just *some* jewelry. It is your deceased mothers jewelry.
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    The little girl in question who is about 4 yo now?) probably doesn't even understand about the jewelry, and would be happy with a reasonable substitute, OP. If your 'dad' has the finances, this would be a good compromise.

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