Jealous stepmom throws away VHS tapes documenting her 17-year-old stepdaughter's late mother's pregnancy: 'We made a promise to show Eleanore the tapes on her 18th birthday'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 6, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Grief is a terrible thing, and it affects everyone very differently. Some people can move on from the loss of a loved one surprisingly quickly, while others never get over it as long as they live. Even for a person as important as your life partner, the grieving process looks different for every individual. Some people can remarry within a couple of years of their husband or wife passing, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. Those relationships can thrive, even with the knowledge that the widow/widower fully loved their lost partner and very well might still be with them if they were around. A lot of complicated feelings can arise from being the partner of a widower, but that doesn't mean those feelings are correct. Feeling jealous of a past spouse who is six feet under does not mean you should try to erase their memory because you both can't and shouldn't do that. 

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  • The stepmom in this story did one of the worst things a step-parent or the wife of a widower could do. She threw away video tapes of her husband's late wife that he was going to give to his daughter on her 18th birthday. Her remorse seems phony at best. 

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    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife video tapes?

    I am writing this because I don't know what to do. I have a daughter with my late wife and her name is Eleanore. Her birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and she's turning 18. Background, me and my late wife, Cloé has been dating since college. We got older and ended up getting married, and after our wedding, she shared news to me that she was pregnant and I was excited
    via u/Much_Bed_2383
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    that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy. Wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch, or talking to our unborn child through the camera. We made a promise to only show Eleanore the tapes until her 18 birthday. Fast forward 2 years after her
    via u/Much_Bed_2383
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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    birth, Cloé passed away due to a dr_nk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother's house. I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depre s on and having to raise our two year old daughter by my self. My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back dating, but every time I did I felt like I was betraying her.
    via u/Much_Bed_2383
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    Years later when Eleanore was 13, I met Wendy. We met at a gathering for my sister's birthday. and we instantly hit it off. She didn't mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce. Two years after we got married, now back to the present. Eleanore 18 birthday is coming up and I kept all the tapes for me to show her. Mind you her
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    mother did when she was just two, so Eleanore doesn't remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes and a week ago I was talking to Wendy about it and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable. Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talk about my late wife. I don't say things like "why can't you be
    via u/Much_Bed_2383
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    like Cloé" or "Cloé was only supposed to be my first love" but I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of how her mother was like. Wendy has always talked to me about Cloé and how it made her sad that "She can never be like her". Cloé was a model then started working on her fashion career, and don't get me wrong she was a really beautiful woman, while
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    Wendy had two kids in college and "not in the best shape" due to her words. I love both woman how they are and I've never had a preference but I feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Cloé. I told Wendy that I love her just the way she was and she broke down crying.
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    The next day after that incident she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it's good that she felt comfortable to share her feelings, and I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her forehead. She asked to see where the tapes were at and I showed her the box of video tapes of my late wife in my closet. Things were going fine
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    until yesterday morning. I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter and when I went to go find them, the box wasn't in my closet. I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching tv. I asked her about the box and she told me she threw it away with a neutral expression. My heart
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    dropped and I asked her what did she mean, and she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life so she threw them away as a "head start". I was fuming with anger because not only she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter big surprise. We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was so she started apologizing. It got
    via u/Much_Bed_2383
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    to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom. It's the morning and I'm writing this in my office going through my computer finding old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to "meet" her
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    mother and I really thought it would bring her closer to her. I've been ignoring my wife for the past day and she's been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is but I really just can't look at her right now. It's getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Cloé di d over 10 years ago but I'm trying to ignore them all because they never had
    via u/Much_Bed_2383
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    someone so close to them died. I am working on finding these files and I'm starting to think I was overreacting. I don't know what to do and I really need help.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Altruistic_You737 • 2d ago Dear Lord - I'm honestly not one to advocate for divorce but I do not think I could continue a relationship with someone who did something so wildly despicable. That isn't jealousy - that's a mental disorder. She stole the only vestiges of your wife that your daughter will have. This is not something you come back from or she can apologise for. This is a line in the sand
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    Western_Fuzzy I doubt she's even sorry, just sorry for herself that OP is ignoring her. It was all premeditated. Wendy needs a doctor and divorce papers.
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    justmedoubleb • 2d ago I believe this was premeditated given her asking where the box was. She, in essence, just k lled your daughters mother for a second time. Truly nasty and she needs serious mental health.
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    BasicRabbit4 She robbed a daughter of the only small piece of her mother she had. That she never even got to see. Divorce is too kind.
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    Original-Stretch-464 • 2d ago this isn't even a mental disorder. this is cruelty. her terrible behavior doesn't even deserve an excuse. she threw away the only physical memories that this girl would ever have of her mother. ever. because she's jealous of a ghost. OP, get divorced. leave. for your daughter. because this will never stop. she isn't sorry. she's sorry you're upset and that you're mad at her. leave her
    via u/Original-Stretch-464
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    Foolish-Pleasure99 Frankly, I'm with you. I think OP should tell his current wife to do whatever she can to recover those tapes before daughter's 18th bday or you are done. That act was completely unconscionable and there is only one way to make it right.
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    phisigtheduck My mom did when I was 18 and my dad re- married about five years later. My dad had told me that everything of hers was left to me to decide what I wanted to do with them. He had also told me that out of respect for his new wife, he placed all of my mom's things down in the basement, which was fine with me, because I didn't have my own place yet or a way to safely move them from the house to a storage unit/wherever I ended up living. A few years later, when I finally had the space a
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    new wife had thrown everything away because she no longer wanted anything from his "old life" in her house. Items she threw away included many collectible (and priceless) items that my mom absolutely loved, anything related to myself or my siblings, hl, even toys she had collected when we were younger to eventually give to her grandkids. She did not want anything trace of any life my dad had before she entered the picture. It was all gone and my dad not only didn't tell me/my siblings this fact,
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    ped at ME for me saying I wanted to take them and keep them safe with me. De d serious, we did not speak for four months and he didn't even apologize, just pretended the fight never happened (this is reason #2,694 of why he is kept very, very low-contact). This happened to me after I had already had 18 years with my mom, I honestly can't even imagine how it would feel if you lost your mom before being able to have any real memories of her.
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    Reasonable-Rush-6979 This is beyond jealousy, it's outright cruelty. She didn't just cross a line; she destroyed something irreplaceable. Some things can't be undone or forgiven, and this feels like one of them.
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    Square-Minimum-6042 Your nosy friends can F right off. What your current wife (soon to be ex, I hope) did was despicable. I am so sorry OP. Devastating.
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    Much_Bed_2383 OP Not really my "friends" but two of my wife best friends that I'm cool with. I see why they are the first to text me knowing my wife probably said something to them
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family drama stepmother marriage marriage drama VHS mother fatherhood stepmom tapes widower dad family mom toxic relationship Father
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