"Stop making your whale daughter my problem.": 6-year-old grows out of flower girl dress before wedding, mom exposes angry bride's nasty comments

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 10, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

We all know that kids grow like weeds. No one knows this better than the parents that have to buy their rapidly-growing children a new wardrobe seemingly every couple of months. There do exist brands of adjustable clothing that are meant to expand as the child grows, but the way kids play will usually wear clothes down to the point that they need to be replaced quickly anyway. I certainly do not envy my parents for having to keep me clothed during my middle school years when I was both getting taller and desperate to be on trend.

In our story today, a bride must contend with no longer having a flower girl for her wedding. Her friend's daughter unfortunately grew out of her dress in the year that transpired between the initial agreement and the rescheduled wedding date. Instead of reacting normally, the bride takes a terrible jab at her friend's daughter, potentially ending the friendship. Scroll down below for the full story.

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  • 01

    AITA for telling people the real reason why I skipped my friend's wedding?

    "By the time the actual wedding date came around, the dress did not fit my daughter anymore."
    via capecodculture

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (35F) am still friends with some of the people I went to college with. One of them, Debbie (fake name, 36F) got married this past January, after being engaged for two years.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 03
    Early in the planning process, Debbie had asked my 6-year-old daughter (who was 5 at the time) to be the flower girl. We agreed, and she had the dress sent to us right away. We barely spoke about the subject for a while.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10478140160
    via Comstock

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Then the wedding was delayed by almost a year (the original date was in March '24). I'm still not sure why, I've heard 3 or 4 different reasons. By the time the actual wedding date came around, the flower girl dress did not fit my daughter anymore.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 06
    We didn't find out until roughly 10 days before the wedding (admittedly my fault), and I texted Debbie right away to ask what I should do about it. Her first reply was "Figure it out."
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 07
    I tried to ask her where she'd bought the dress, where I could get a similar one or whether it would be okay for my daughter to wear a different dress. I basically gave her a list of ways I could fix this and asked her what she preferred. Debbie responded with "I don't have time for this. Stop making your whale daughter my problem."
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10478140416
    via pixelshot

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Obviously, I decided against attending the wedding after that. As far as I'm concerned, we're no longer friends. And to be clear, I know that up until this point, I was not the AH.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607

  • Good! Don't be friends with someone that disparages your children like that!

  • 10
    I didn't tell anyone about it at first, but our absence was obvious (my friends missed me, and my daughter was supposed to be the only flower girl). Whenever Debbie was asked about it, she apparently just said we'd had an argument, but it wasn't a big deal.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 11
    When our mutual friends and acquaintances asked me, I told them the truth, without sugarcoating it or trying to defend Debbie. I even showed my friends the text messages that proved everything. Everyone took my side.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 12
    About a week ago, Debbie called me. She apologized for what she said about my daughter, but told me I have no idea how stressed she was at the time. She said it wasn't fair for her to lose friends over a mistake she'd made when she was under so much pressure.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607

  • Yeah, if she really just had a “moment” where the ugliest version of her inner bridezilla slipped out, she probably would have acknowledged it and apologized sooner, not after the social consequences start to set in.

  • 13
    Again, I don't think I was in the wrong for skipping the wedding, but I'm wondering whether I took it too far by telling our mutuals why.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 14
    EDIT: Yes, I know I should have made sure the dress still fit sooner. I already know that was my mistake, and I'm not blaming Debbie for it. That's not what I'm asking about.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 15
    alwayshungry47 Nta, she had no reason to talk about your daughter that way.
    via u/alwayshungry47
  • 16
    Gnd_flpd She referred to her as a "whale daughter" NTA !!!
    via u/Gnd_flpd
  • 17
    Talvikavat Right. Kids grow, they can't stay the same size
    via u/Talvikavat
  • 18
    butterfly-garden My oldest had the audacity to change three sizes in six months. Such a "difficult" child!
    via u/butterfly-garden
  • 19
    Far-Juggernaut8880 NTA- doesn't matter how stressed and overwhelmed you are, you never talk about a child or adult in that way.
    via u/Far-Juggernaut8880
  • 20
    Complex_Anteater_607 OP That's part of the reason why I believe I might have been the AH. I don't believe she would have talked about my daughter that way if she wasn't extremely stressed out. Obviously not an excuse, but certainly something I have to take into consideration.
    via u/Complex_Anteater_607
  • 21
    Electronic Ladder398 NTA, you're a much better person than I am. I would have let everyone know what happened BEFORE the wedding.
    via u/Electronic_Ladder398
  • 22
    Dependent-Union4802 No she only apologized because the consequences I came her way
    via u/Dependent-Union4802
  • 23
    Shot-Pomelo8442 Yes! My first thought if it was really a stress induced snap she would have been apologizing, immediately upset that she said that but she didn't until after the wedding and other people knew.
    via u/Shot-Pomelo8442
  • 24
    hobbes543 She is not sorry for what she did. She is sorry she is facing consequences for her behavior.
    via u/hobbes543
  • 25
    watchtower 5960 Nta, there's no amnesty for being a bridezilla .
    via u/watchtower
  • 26
    alv 269 NTA. It's not that difficult to not refer to a 6 yo child as a whale, even when stressed. Little kids can grow a lot in a year and her response was totally uncalled for. Stress is no excuse for that kind of nastiness and I think she does deserve to lose friends over it.
    via u/alv269
  • 27
    joeswindell NTA - you should have dressed your daughter like a whale and played orca sounds as she tossed flowers.
    via u/joeswindell
  • 28
    throwaway798319 NTA. Debbie is delusional if she thinks a child wouldn't grow at all in a whole year, and calling anyone a whale is disgusting
    via u/throwaway798319

Tags

flower girl friendship bride entitled parents wedding drama motherhood relationships parenting wedding love red flag bridezilla Reddit raising kids daughter Female Empowerment
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