27-year-old woman reveals to 17-year-old half-sister that their parents forced her to move out at 18, leading sister to confront their mom: ‘She said I should’ve let the past go’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 17, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Anyone with siblings who are much younger understands what it feels like to watch your parents become completely different people around your younger siblings. Generally, it could go one or two ways – either they learn from the mistakes they made while raising you, and become the perfect parents you never got to have. Or they completely check out while raising your younger siblings, half expecting you to pick up their slack and do the job for them.

While the first might sound like the better outcome, for some kids, it is actually a lot more difficult to deal with. It's not easy to know your parents had it in them to be great parents, they just never did so for you. It might even be harder than them just being bad parents for all siblings equally because then you wouldn't have to ask yourself what made them make the change.

The one thing you should remember, is that however your parents behaved with you compared to your younger siblings, it is not the siblings' fault. This is what the sisters in the story below should remind each other every single day of their lives.

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  • The mother in the story below, unfortunately, matches the description of the parents above–she wasn't a great parent to her eldest daughter, but she managed to improve herself when her second daughter came along.

    Now when her eldest daughter is an adult, she told her younger sister a little bit of what it was like for her as a teen, but their mother did not like that.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story…

  • "Now mom is upset, saying I made it sound like she "abandoned me"
    via Carolin Voelker

  • "AITA for Telling My Sister the Truth About Why I Moved Out So Young?"

    I (27F) have a younger half- sister, "Emma" (17F). We share the same mom, but different dads. Our mom had me when she was really young and struggled a lot.
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • By the time Emma was born, she was in a much more stable marriage, so Emma had a totally different upbringing than I did.
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • I moved out at 18 and was pretty much on my own from that point. I worked multiple jobs to pay for school and rent, while Emma has always had my
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • mom and her dad's full support-paid extracurriculars, a car at 16, and they're even covering her college tuition. I don't resent her for it, but it does
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • make it hard for her to understand my perspective sometimes. A few days ago, I was at my mom's house visiting, and Emma made a comment
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • about how I "chose to move out early" and how she didn't get why I wasn't around more often. She said it like I just wanted to leave and be distant. I told
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • her that it wasn't exactly a choice that once I turned 18, I was pretty much expected to figure things out on my own. Our mom and her husband were
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • focused on their own lives and supporting her, and I had to become independent a lot sooner. Emma got really quiet and later told my mom what I
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • said. Now my mom is upset, saying I made it sound like she "abandoned" me, when in reality she was just young and struggling. She said I should've let the past go
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • instead of making Emma feel guilty over things she had no control over. I wasn't trying to make Emma feel bad, just explain
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • why our experiences were different. But now I'm wondering―AITA for saying anything at all?
    via MagnoliaMystice
  • Cheezburger Image 10468646656
    via camacho9999

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Bella Trix4Change Nta, she asked and you answered truthfully. Your mother's feelings are not your problem just like yours were not hers when you were 18.
    via BellaTrix4Change
  • saintandvillian NTA. You had a rough childhood and you don't owe anyone silence about that fact. In addition, your mom was married with a husband and
    via saintandvillian
  • a child by the time you left so, no, her being young is no excuse for continuing to be a bad mother to you. By the time you left Emma was 8 years old. Is your mom's argument that she was still a "young mom" then? Nope.
    via saintandvillian
  • The truth is she made no effort to be there for you and she's still leaning on the excuses she had when you were born. And lastly, you did nothing to make Emma feel guilty.
    via saintandvillian
  • It's just that she cares more about you and empathizes with you more than your mom ever will. Look at the evidence, even now she's trying to protect Emma
    via saintandvillian
  • rather than addressing how she's failed you. Let this woman and her opinions pass right past you. Match her energy.
    via saintandvillian
  • Ok Homework_7621 That's cute, your mother was young and struggling so she put her child in the same position, and now wants to lie to her other child about
    via Ok_Homework_7621
  • it. She's not sorry about how she treated you, she's upset about her reputation. ΝΤΑ
    via Ok_Homework_7621
  • SugarSprinkless You didn't do anything wrong Emma deserved an honest answer and it's not your fault if the truth makes your mom uncomfortable...
    via SugarSprinkless
  • Alice_Da_Cat NTA. Your mum just doesn't like the truth or facing reality and that isn't your fault <3
    via Alice_Da_Cat
  • saltyvet10 By the time you were 18 she wasn't young and struggling. Her refusal to support you was a choice. Mom needs to check a mirror for the villain here. NTA.
    via saltyvet10

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teens family drama aita mother sisters teenagers siblings reddit story parenting dad family sister Reddit mom parents guilty Father moving out
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