Woman uninvited from work bridal shower and told to sit at her desk for lunch break, she rats out the bride to the big boss, causing coworker tension: “I can’t go to the company breakroom on lunch hour?”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 11, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

No one likes to feel excluded. When you feel like you're part of a group, the worst thing is to feel excluded or uninvited to something. It's hard to make amends for something like this, and it's enough to ruin the potential of a budding relationship. Whether it's being excluded from a wedding, a birthday party, or just a girl's lunch with all the coworkers, it's a feeling that leaves a bad taste in the mouth. You start to get in your head about the most petulant things. "Do they like me? Did I do something to offend them? Is there something I can do to get on their good side?" It starts to feel like we're in high school when we start questioning why you were uninvited somewhere. 

I had a friend once who was new to a company, and thus when her coworker invited everyone to his wedding, he of course left her out. Even if she could recognize how silly it is to be upset at not being invited to a stranger's wedding, she was still hurt by it. This isn't exactly what happens in the story below, but you'll have to read everything for the full scoop. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for telling my boss that I wasn't invited to the party?

    BRIDAL SHOWER
    via SUNG YOON JO from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    1 (26F) just started at a new job. I quickly realized that one of my colleagues, "Marie" is engaged and is getting married within the next 2 months. It seemed like the whole office was attending the wedding. I absolutely did not expect an invite. She just met me, weddings are planned in advance, venues booked, etc. My friend
    via u/Far_Pay8487

  • It's pretty insulting that this bride invited all the coworkers except for the protagonist. When every single other person is invited it's just common courtesy to include everyone. It just makes things so uncomfortable if you don't. And truthfully this bride probably won't even notice that someone else is there or not. It's pretty petty and ridiculous. 

  • 03
    actually just got married so I saw first hand how it all worked. I could tell Marie wondered if I was expecting an invitation and was hesitant to bring up the wedding around me, but I just never made it a big deal. I don't feel left out in the slightest.
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 04
    Then, I got CC'd on an e-mail from someone that the office, Joan, throwing Marie a shower during our lunch hour in the breakroom in a couple of weeks. Joan was sending out a collection so we could give a group gift (cash) to Marie. They also suggested we make it a potluck.
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10478178048
    via Anna Ostanina from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Joan included her Venmo and also asked we e-mail back with what we planned on bringing. Even if I'm not going to the wedding, I still believe everyone deserves to be celebrated and Venmo'd the $20, as well as sent a reply saying I'd bring lasagna.
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 07
    A little later, I saw the $20 had been returned to my Venmo and Joan approached my desk. She said I didn't need to contribute. I said even if I'm not attending the wedding, I'd still like to give Marie a little something. Joan looked a little awkward and hemmed and hawed but then eventually said "You're not invited to the shower".
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 08
    I was confused. I said "I can't go in the company breakroom on lunch hour?" She said yes. I asked where am I supposed to go? I don't drive (I take public transit to/from work), we don't really work near anywhere I could go to quickly for our lunch hour. She said I could stay at my desk. I pointed out this was a little
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 09
    exclusionary. Joan said Marie didn't want me to assume I was invited to the wedding. I said I don't at all. I completely understand I haven't worked here long and we're not close enough. I'm not hurt by that. She said that's great, but I still can't come. I asked if I had done anything to offend Marie and she said no. She
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 10
    just doesn't want me "getting my hopes up". I finally let it go and just said fine, have a good party. The day of the shower, I sat at my desk during the party while everyone else went, eating my lunch alone. One kind person snuck me a piece of cake.
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 11
    Halfway through the party, the "big boss" came in. She usually doesn't work on Fridays, so it was a surprise to see her. She saw me sitting at my desk and asked why I wasn't at the party. I told her I hadn't been invited. She was clearly perturbed by this. Later on, she sent an e-mail out banning
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10478177792
    via DragonImages / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    parties of any kind during work hours. A few people, Joan and Marie included, realize I'm the one who told. They've now turned on me.
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 14
    Some friends say I'm in the wrong here and that I should've lied to the big boss and said I was busy with work to finish or something, so as not to ruin it for everyone else. AITA?
    via u/Far_Pay8487
  • 15
    Armadillo_of_doom • 13h ago ΝΤΑ They used company resources and excluded someone in the company. That's against HR policy I'm sure. They didn't "not" invite you, they deliberately *blocked* you from going and TOLD you to stay at your desk.
    via u/Armadillo_of_doom
  • 16
    They deserved what they got. Time to grey rock them. "Sorry, boss asked me a direct question and I assumed you were going to tell her the truth so I wasn't going to lie and possibly get in trouble." Marie and Joan are mean girls. Period. Document any retaliation asap.
    via u/Armadillo_of_doom
  • 17
    NYCStoryteller • 13h ago NTA. They're the ones who fed around and did an exclusionary thing. You didn't tattle on them to the big boss, the boss asked you why you were sitting at your desk/weren't at the party, you explained.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 18
    All Marie had to do was be a gracious person and include you in the office gathering. You were fine with a $20 contribution and lasagna, and she didn't have to be weird about you not going to the wedding. Joan and Marie are the AHS here.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 19
    One-Revolution-... • 13h ago Not how that works. A work shower is for everyone, not just people invited to the wedding. Joan is clueless about office etiquette.
    via u/One-Revolution-9670
  • 20
    Diligent-Ratio-46... • 13h ago NTA - they sound like high school mean girls. You were so kind to offer money and lasagna. Sorry that happened you to!
    via u/Diligent-Ratio-4654
  • 21
    zeeelfprince ⚫13h ago WHY WERE YOU CC'D ON THAT YOURG EMAIL FOR VENMO PAYMENT/ASKING FOR "WHAT ARE YA'LL BRINGING" IF YOU WEREN'T INVITED? That's enraging
    via u/zeeelfprince
  • 22
    dr_lucia 13h ago . Not only were you not invited, you were specifically told to not come! Not your fault that you told your boss a truthful story.
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 23
    boscoroni 13h ago People who advise you lie to your boss are the ones you need to report to your boss. You also need to report the two that instigated this to HR and I would resign from a company if this is the type. people they have working for it.
    via u/boscoroni

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