24-year-old son storms out on 40-year-old mom who just had a baby when she calls herself a first-time mom: 'You really went overboard huh?'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 12, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Life can contain many distinct chapters. You may even feel like you've lived multiple lives in the span of a couple of years, if you've moved a lot, changed jobs, changed relationships, or just changed perspectives. It's rare, if not impossible, that everyone lives their lives in a straight line from birth til the end. Odds are, there are countless twists and turns, unexpected life events, tragedies, and successes that shape the rollercoaster that is your life. It's part of what makes us human. 

Sometimes, though, there can be pressure points where chapters start to overlap and meld into one another. Maybe an old friend came out of the woodwork and now you have to figure out how they fit into your present life. Maybe something from your past comes back to haunt you in ways you could have never expected. Or maybe you're too focused on the future to remember who you were in the past. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10478748928
    via Unsplash+ (Anita Austvika)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened to one mom whose life was so filled with regret about how she was forced to bring up her child, that when a new one came along she forgot all about the first. Of course, that left the first child feeling pretty upset about what she said. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my mother she's not a "first-time mom" now that she had a new baby?

    I (24M) have a good relationship with my mother (40F) even though, as you can tell from our age, she had me when she was very young and obviously lacked the maturity to raise me, so I lived my grandparents, who were then below poverty line, for most of my childhood while my mother moved away to get her college education.
    via u/Quiet-Vermicelli7444
  • 03
    I don't blame her for her choices, I know she worked hard to improve herself and to get to a place where she would have the means to raise me right, but it wasn't until I was 11 or 12 that she was stable enough to get me to live with her (bio dad was never in the picture).
    via u/Quiet-Vermicelli7444
  • 04
    Anyway, now, my mother is financially comfortable and happily married. She gave birth to her second son a couple of weeks ago. I don't live with her anymore (we're not in the same city, it's a 2-hour drive), so it wasn't until yesterday that I managed to visit her and see my half-brother for the first time.
    via u/Quiet-Vermicelli7444
  • 05
    I noticed she was surrounded by a lot of fancy accessories, so I was like "What are those?", and she was like "That's the baby's Lexus stroller and Louis Vuitton diaper bag of course". So I said something like "You really went overboard huh?".
    via u/Quiet-Vermicelli7444
  • 06
    And then she said something that really hurt me. She said she now had the chance to experience motherhood for the first time, and that she was feeling like a first time mom because, when she had me, she was so young and unprepared and financially vulnerable. So I told her she was not a first time mom,
    via u/Quiet-Vermicelli7444
  • 07
    and I couldn't understand why she'd say something like that to me. She tried to argue that she didn't mean it like that, but I was still upset, I just didn't push it because my stepfather arrived. She texted me after I left, but I didn't reply yet. I also didn't pick up when she tried to call me. AITA for holding on to this?
    via u/Quiet-Vermicelli7444
  • 08

    Commenters were quick to understand why the son might be hurt by these comments.

    Realistic-Active7... NTA and this is a very tricky situation and I understand why you are upset, I'm sorry that you didn't get the same response when you were born as your mum was so young. It's an insensitive thing to say to you and I hope your mother can try to understand why you are upset.
    via u/Realistic-Active7230
  • 09
    Tattedtail NAH I understand why her words hurt you. Yes, she was already a mum before her second child.
    via u/Tattedtail
  • 10
    But it sounds like she wasn't your primary caretaker until you were over a decade old. I'm extrapolating here, and I apologise if I'm wrong, but she wasn't able to spend the amount of time with you as a baby that most mum's do. She didn't get the experience of buying baby stuff, making the decisions, controlling the environment, being responsible for a new, little life.
    via u/Tattedtail
  • 11
    I don't think she's wrong for being happy that she can now have that experience. I also don't think her comments mean that you don't matter to her, or that she doesn't consider you to be her child.
    via u/Tattedtail
  • 12
    It sounds like seeing the financial stability and comfort your half-sibling has been born into made you feel some things, and your mum's comments pushed you over the line into being ped off.
    via u/Tattedtail
  • 13
    Miserable_Jellyfi... My mom had me when she was 16 so I kind of feel you on this. She'd been thrown out of her house at 14 and this made her go no contact with almost every family member because no one took her side or helped her. So she struggled quite a bit after my birth and
    via u/Miserable_Jellyfish0
  • 14
    over the years. She didn't have another baby like your story but I kinda felt the same way because after a moved out she started having this new "fancy life". I didn't say nothing at first but told her, one time tipsy on wine, that she was living good since I was not a weight on her shoulder anymore. After
    via u/Miserable_Jellyfish0
  • 15
    having a talk with her I understood so much about what she had endure during a time she was supposed to live her teen experiences. I didn't lack anything when I was a child and now that I'm "spreading my wings" it's like she reward herself for the years of efforts she had put. I
    via u/Miserable_Jellyfish0
  • 16
    understand that's it's a bit tricky with the fact that you know you and your sibling is not gonna have the same life especially with that age gap. If you take the time to have a conversation with her I'm sure you will understand so much more than just that thing she said (which it's pretty hurtful i give it to you). You're NTA but I suggest you to try to understand her side also.
    via u/Miserable_Jellyfish0
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10478750208
    via Unsplash+ (Anita Austvika)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    katbelleinthedark NAH. Your feelings are valid. But to be fair, in your own words, you mother said she was FEELING like a first time mum, not that she WAS. Your own post states that she spoke about how the experience makes her FEEL
    via u/katbelleinthedark
  • 19
    like she's experiencing motherhood for the first time and let's be real, that is what is happening, kind of. She was young when she had you, left you at your grandparents and didn't actually raise you. By her own choice, she didn't get the mum of a newborn/infant experience with you.
    via u/katbelleinthedark
  • 20
    I think she knows that her phrasing hurt you and is trying to talk to you and apologise. I don't think she was trying to be mean or to imply that you are any less her child.
    via u/katbelleinthedark
  • 21
    kifflington NTA. Your mother failed to engage that vital filter between brain and mouth. Anyone with half a brain would have known that comment would hurt you and make you feel like she thinks you don't really count as *her* child. It's the sort of comment that tickles those psychological abandonment places and she needs to apologise to you.
    via u/kifflington
  • 22
    JJQuantum NTA. It was a very insensitive thing to say. She may have been 16 when she had you but she's 40 now and should absolutely know better.
    via u/JJQuantum
  • 23
    ButtonTemporary... NTA. that's incredibly hurtful. Like incredibly. She should be lucky you don't blame her for living in poverty the first decade of your life while she was off living her best life in college
    via u/ButtonTemporary8623
  • 24
    Lonely_Second_55 NTA. That must have been an incredibly painful thing to hear and it's okay that it hurt you. You can't be TA for having your feelings hurt. However, I can understand what your mum probably meant here, but phrased awfully. It sounds like your mum wishes that she was in
    via u/Lonely_Second_55
  • 25
    the position she is in now when she had you. She wishes she gave you more than what she could but becuase she was so young and unprepared, she did not do as good of a job as she felt she should have. Noting as well that your grandparents raised you, she probably
    via u/Lonely_Second_55
  • 26
    really regrets missing out on that time with you and just said it so poorly. It's something that I don't think is worth ruining the relationship for. I think you should, when you are ready, have a chat with your mum about what she meant and what kind of regrets/fears she has about parenting you. I did that with
    via u/Lonely_Second_55
  • 27
    was at the time, it was also very healing. I heard a lot of thoughts I had about my mum being validated at the same time understanding the trauma that came before. Good luck.
    via u/Lonely_Second_55
  • 28
    Cute-Profession9... • 7mo ago NTA. The sad truth is you are going to have latent internal jealousy bubble up every time you see that your brother gets the mother and lifestyle you were deprived of. Take it from me! Been there...
    via u/Cute-Profession9983

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