Employee books non-refundable vacation, entitled coworker flips out when he refuses switch vacation days with her at the last minute: 'Since I don't have kids, my plans aren't as important'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 14, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Your vacation days are a precious resource when you work a full-time job. When you are committed to a 9 to 5, the amount of free time you have to enjoy life at your leisure is limited, and usually, you want to plan the handful of nonworking days that you have with a precision that allows you to enjoy them to the fullest.

There are also other factors to take into consideration when you are planning a vacation under these circumstances, such as whether your employer will allow you this small amount of freedom and how your job will fit around the disruption in routine. There is often very little room for error, and the last thing that you need is unexpected circumstances cropping up and ruining a much-anticipated break. 

However, sometimes you have to expect the unexpected and, where appropriate, stand your ground when it comes to protecting your vacation time.

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    Cheezburger Image 10479744000
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is exactly what one employee did when they had a long-awaited vacation from work coming up. They had planned it months in advance and had it all approved by management, but one of their coworkers decided at the last minute that they wanted to take a school holiday trip with their kids. 

    The mom asked if her fellow employee could forego their vacation so she could take time off, and he refused, citing a non-refundable holiday. She was annoyed, and he wondered if he had been in the wrong.

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    AITAH for refusing to switch my vacation dates because my coworker has kids?

    I (30M) put in my vacation request months ago for a specific week. I made plans, booked flights, and was looking forward to it. Everything was approved by our manager with no issues. Last week, my coworker "Lisa" (35F) found out that her kids' school break falls during the same week. She came to me and asked if I'd be willing to swap my vacation for a different time so she could take her kids on a trip. I told her I was sorry, but I had already made non-refundable bookings and didn't want to cha
    via ZooterBobSquareCck
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    She got frustrated and said, "It must be nice to have so much flexibility," implying that since I don't have kids, my plans aren't as important. I told her that just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my time off is any less valuable. Now she's giving me the cold shoulder at work, and another coworker mentioned that I "could've been more understanding." But I don't think it's fair to expect me to give up my plans just because she has kids. AITAH?
    via ZooterBobSquareCck
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    Unsurprisingly, outsiders were not impressed by the mom's entitled behavior.

    H rnyRespectfully NTA. She's delusional. Even if you show her receipts and show her how much it would cost you to reschedule she's still gonna dislike you. Just make sure to document everything in case she starts creating a hostile work environment
    via HrnyRespectfully
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    Bellatrix_dog This and am saying this as a mother, she had her kids school schedule since Aug 2024 at the latest. Her failure to plan isn't your problem...NTA
    via Bellatrix_dog
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    Practical-Bird633 This!!! Spring break is never casually decided the month before. Shes known or she doesnt pay attention enough to have known.
    via Practical-Bird633
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    Dr_StrangeloveGA She just didn't get her vacation request in in time and is ped OP beat her to it.
    via Dr_StrangeloveVA
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    meanderingwanderlost She's had the kids' schedule since the beginning of the school year and ample time to plan. The fact that she didn't is on her. NTA.
    via meanderingwanderlost
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    Complete Goose667 Actually, it's published at least a year in advance. She had time to plan, but chose not to.
    via Complete_Goose667
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    Shadow4summer And now she wants you to lose money. No sorry. Should have planned better.
    via Shadow4summer
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    LostinLies1 What flexibility? You booked your holiday and it is non refundable. If anything, this is completely non flexible.
    via LostinLies1
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    rosebudny Even if the tickets were refundable - still zero obligation for OP to give up the time. Perhaps they are traveling with someone else who would then have to deal with switching around their own time off. "No" is a complete sentence; OP doesn't owe Lisa an explanation. Her poor planning is not OP's problem.
    via rosebudny
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    Herdnerfer NTA, schools put out the calendar at the beginning of the school year. She's had months to take off at that time, not your fault she didn't bother until now.
    via Herdnerfer
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    Constant-Ad9390 You can be understanding if she is willing to pay your out of pocket costs. No, I thought not. Seriously school book holidays a year in advance her poor planing is not an emergency on your part. NTA (she is defo!)
    via Constant-Ad9390
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    jesusalejandro 18 NTA. Your vacation plans are just as important as hers, kids or no kids. You booked everything in advance, and it's not your fault her kids' break overlaps with your time off. It's unfair for her to expect you to rearrange your life because she has kids. You were polite but firm, and that's totally reasonable. She's being petty by giving you the cold shoulder, and your coworker's comment is out of line. Don't feel guilty for prioritizing your plans.
    via jesusalejandro18
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    SeaworthinessLow9705 Say to her "sure no problem, you refund me the costs of the flights, accommodation etc"?
    via SeaworthinessLow9705
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    PeonyGloww NTA Like, she knew about the school break, right? It's not ur fault she didn't plan ahead. It's not ur job to rearrange ur life bec she has kids. Ppl without kids have lives too, y'know? She's tryin' to guilt trip u, and that's not fair. I'd just ignore the cold shoulder, she'll get over it, or not, idc lol.
    via PeonyGloww
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    Well-Done22 NTA. Lisa was responsible for knowing when her kids have off school and request vacation days. She probably wasn't paying any attention but made all the promises to her kids, then found herself rushing last minute to pull it off. I'd tell her if she wants to refund you for the entire trip since you'd lose that money, she's welcome to the week. Otherwise, she can off.
    via Well-Done22
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    glimmerseeker Petty me would have answered, "Yes, it is nice to have so much flexibility - I don't have kids." Screw Lisa and the other coworker. You being "more understanding" translates to give her what she wants cause KIDS. No one is more important or more special just because they have kids. HER problem of not planning her vacation time properly is not YOUR responsibility. NTA.
    via glimmerseeker
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    Still_Condition8669 NTA. I'm so sick of people with kids acting like those of us that don't have them, are supposed to cater to their needs. We also have family, friends, and social lives outside of work. She should have been more proactive about knowing when her kids would be off for Spring Break so she could have asked off before you. I'm afraid the same thing will happen to me. I put my request in back in January for vacation in April. I'm expecting my coworker with kids to expect off that sa
    via Still_Condition8669
  • 21
    PennyProjects NTA. Her poor planning shouldn't mean you need to change your plans. I know my kids spring break week for 2026 already. At the very latest she has known since August. This isn't a kids vs no kids issue, this is a planning issue...if she wanted a spring break trip she should have asked for the time off a long time ago.
    via PennyProjects
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    Tianwen2023 Ask co-workers if they're willing to pay you twice the amount of your non-refundable trip alongside the expenses of the other people you're supposed to meet during vacation. "Well, if you can't pay for us to do these things on a different date without extra cost to us and with compensation for the hassle, we don't have a deal."
    via Tianwen2023

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