“I don’t want to risk anything”: 23-year-old woman refuses to let her friend borrow her sacred dress for a wedding, friend accuses her of being selfish

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 15, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

We all have that one piece of clothing that's special to us. There may not be a strong rhyme or reason to it, but it's the one thing we would never lend out to someone. It could be for sentimental reasons, and maybe it belonged to your grandmother at some point, or maybe the one that got away bought it for you and you don't want to let go of the memories. Maybe it costs a lot of money, and the material price is driving you to want to keep it in tact. Maybe it's just perfect and beautiful, fits you immensely and the compliments never stop coming when you're wearing it. No matter what the reason is, it's special to you, and at the end of the day you're the one who owns it. 

In the story below, the protagonist has a clothing item that's special to her like that. She has a dress that she's been saving to wear at a special occasion. Her friend is going to a wedding soon, and asks to use the dress. Feeling uncomfortable to lend it out, the protagonist says no to her, but that's not without a fight from her friend. What do you think? Should she lend out the dress instead of having it just sit in her closet, or should she stick to her boundaries and put her foot down? Read the full story below for all the juicy details.

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to let my friend borrow my dress for a wedding because I wanted to wear it later?

    "It's just sitting in your closet"
    via Serhii Yevdokymov / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (23F) have a dress that I love. It's one of those pieces I splurged on, and I've been saving it for a special occasion. I haven't worn it yet, but I've been planning to wear it to a big event I have coming up next month.
    via u/RadiantWhisperChark

  • The friend is acting incredibly entitled. There's no reason that the protagonist should be obligated to lend her dress if she doesn't want to. If she says no then the friend needs to accept it. It's not the only dress in the world, and she can go shopping or use another one that she owns. 

  • 03
    My friend, Amber (24F), is going to a wedding this weekend and asked if she could borrow the dress. She said she didn't have time to find something new and that my dress would be perfect. I told her I'd rather not lend it out since I haven't even worn it yet, and I don't want it to get stained or damaged before my event.
    via u/RadiantWhisperChark
  • 04
    She got really annoyed and said I was being selfish because "it's just sitting in my closet" and I wouldn't even be using it that night. She also made a comment about how real friends share things. I told her I don't mind sharing some things, but this dress is special to me, and I don't want to risk anything happening to it.
    via u/RadiantWhisperChark
  • 05
    Now she's acting distant and told a mutual friend that I "value a piece of fabric more than our friendship." Some of our friends think I should've just let her borrow it to be nice, but I feel like I have a right to say no. AITAH?
    via u/RadiantWhisperChark
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10479788544
    via Orbon Alija from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    ThePhilV 16h ago • Sounds like this girl has never been told "no" before. She was probably always given whatever she wanted as a kid, other kids were always forced to share with her, and she never had to learn how to respect other people's boundaries.
    via u/ThePhilV
  • 08
    Everything she has said about you could be turned. around and said about her. She said you were being selfish? She's being selfish by demanding you just hand over something that doesn't belong to her. She said "real friends share things"? Real friends respect each other enough to accept a "no".
    via u/ThePhilV
  • 09
    She said you value a piece of fabric more than a friendship? Who is the one tossing a sh fit over the dress and badmouthing you to everyone else? She's just trying to manipulate you into doing what she demands.
    via u/ThePhilV
  • 10
    You're NTA, but this situation would have me rethinking this friendship
    via u/ThePhilV
  • 11
    lookingformiles 16h ago With the way she's acting it sounds like SHE values a piece of fabric more than your friendship. NTA.
    via u/lookingformiles
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10479798784
    via TUBARONES PHOTOGRAPHY from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    StrangledInMoon... 16h ago NTA. And next time, just say no. Not I'd rather not lend it out since I haven't even worn it yet, and I don't want it to get
    via u/StrangledInMoonlight
  • 14
    stained or damaged before my event. Your answer gives them room to try to negotiate and convince. "No" is a slippery round thing with few handholds to argue against.
    via u/StrangledInMoonlight
  • 15
    [deleted] • 16h ago NTA. She's lazy and chances are she will ruin the dress. Plus its your money and your closet.
    via Reddit
  • 16
    • Kathryn 15h ago NTA. she knew she had a wedding to go to and she didn't plan ahead of time. you gave a very valid and reasonable explanation as to why you didn't want to lend it out. plus, how does she even know if it fits her properly? she should be
    via u/Kathryn
  • 17
    more responsible and plan accordingly when big events are upcoming...there's no way she didn't know this wedding was happening at least week or so in advance.
    via u/Kathryn
  • 18
    nvashops 16h ago NTA. No, don't lend it. What if she ruins it; what's her plan to replace or fix it in time for your event next month?
    via u/nvashops
  • 19
    Bonnm42 • 15h ago NTA Honestly this is a ridiculous request. A true friend would have respected your answer and that would have been the end of it. Do the friends know you never wore this dress and were intending on wearing it to an upcoming event? If so,
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 20
    and they still said to let her borrow it, you need some new friends.
    via u/Bonnm42
  • 21
    celticmusebooks • 15h ago Now she's acting distant and told a mutual friend that I "value a piece of fabric more than our friendship."
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 22
    Ironic since if this is a true story that's EXACTLY what Amber is doing. She's valuing using your dress more than her friendship with you. PRO TIP: I have a hard and fast rule that has served me well. Once you get your flying monkeys to buy me I am morally obligated to NOT let you
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 23
    have what you want even if I change my mind. To do so would be teaching you that buying is an acceptable method for getting your way--and morally I won't do that.
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 24
    Mykona-1967 • 15h ago NTA why did she wait until the week before the wedding to realize she needed a dress? The reason is she planned on wearing OP's dress the entire time.
    via u/Mykona-1967

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friendship drama friends relationships wedding lol love dress reddit thread Reddit funny women dating
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