20-year-old woman calls out her 18-year-old sister for refusing to contribute to household chores: 'I’m done picking up her slack'

The divvying up of the household duties will be an ongoing issue with the people you live with for your entire life. First with your siblings and parents, then roommates, then with your spouse or cats. Who does what, and how much and when will be a matter of constant ongoing debate, while it's important to keep in mind that everyone overestimates their own percentage of overall contribution and underestimates the contributions of others, it becomes readily apparent that some people just have a knack for not pulling their own weight.

When you're a young adult living at home with your family, things can get a bit more complicated, there's this shifting dynamic both psychologically and realistically of you now being an adult yourself and finding your own way while still being under your parents' roof and wing. It's different from simply moving out when you're 18 or 19, in which case the dynamic of the relationship changes in a moment, since you're not seeing each other every day. 

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  • In the situation where you're still living at home, the relationship must instead gradually change through the push and pull of ongoing interactions and understanding. And, well, when one party isn't understanding there is going to be conflict.

    When this young woman found herself on the hook for the brunt of the household chores, while her 18-year-old sister got away with basically nothing, putting everything onto the woman and their mother. After putting up with this behavior for a good while, enough was enough and the woman resolved not to pull her sister's weight or do anything for her any longer.

    This story strikes a balance of illuminating this difficult relationship dynamic, and of being taken for granted and standing up for herself to her family.

  • 01

    "Now that I’m home full-time, I realize just how unfair things have become."

    Cheezburger Image 10480929280
    via Olena Bohovyk

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 02
    Just a mini recap: My younger sister (18F) does nothing around the house, while I (20F) handle most of the chores despite recently graduating and waiting for a full-time job to start in April. My mom asked us to bring her pads to work, and my sister refused, even though it was just a 5-minute walk. I initially didn't want to take them either-to prove a point about her laziness-but I ended up taking them a couple of minutes after the post went up.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 03
    I heard it loud and clear. I quickly realized I shouldn't punish my mom just to make a point about my sister. Another thing I saw people mention is that, yes, I'm currently jobless, but even when I was in university, I still did my fair share of chores-washing clothes, doing the dishes, and the cooking was left for my mom since I left before anyone was awake. The only difference now is that I'm home more often, but my responsibilities haven't really changed.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 04
    Just a mini recap: My younger sister (18F) does nothing around the house, while I (20F) handle most of the chores. despite recently graduating and waiting for a full-time job to start in April. My mom asked us to bring her pads to work, and my sister refused, even though it was just a 5-minute walk. I initially didn't want to take them either-to prove a point about her laziness—but I ended up taking them a couple of minutes after the post went up.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
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  • 05
    I heard it loud and clear. I quickly realized I shouldn't punish my mom just to make a point about my sister. Another thing I saw people mention is that, yes, I'm currently jobless, but even when I was in university, I still did. my fair share of chores-washing clothes, doing the dishes, and the cooking was left for my mom since I left before anyone was awake. The only difference now is that I'm home more often, but my responsibilities haven't really changed.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 06
    I also never said anything when I was in university because all I had to do was focus on getting good grades, and I wanted to help my mom. It was never about proving anything—it was just the right thing to do. Now that I'm home full-time, I realize just how unfair things have become. So, I've decided to take your advice-l will only wash and fold clothes for my mom and myself. When it comes to food, I won't starve my sister, so I'll still cook, but I won't call her to eat. If she wants food, she
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 07
    The only thing I'm worried about is that my mom will end up doing all these things for my sister instead. I feel like I would burden her more. But I think it's best for her to see it first hand
    via thoughtsadvice5555
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  • 08

    "The only thing I’m worried about is that my mom will end up doing all these things for my sister instead."

    Cheezburger Image 10480929536
    via Caroline Hernandez

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09

    The readers shared their thoughts in the comments, here are some key responses:

    Then_Berr Your mom is a big girl and if she chooses to enable your sister that's her choice. You need to focus on yourself and you career goal so that you can leave and not get sucked back into their dynamic
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 10
    maroongrad Time to vanish for a week. You have a job coming up soon? Take a vacation while you can. Grab a friend or two and go on a trip for several days. Pack meals, share inexpensive hotel rooms (rural, outskirts of a city, or otherwise lower cost due to location), and find things to do. Go zip lining, go tour a cave, hike someplace lovely, bring a tent and camp, and just let the household fall apart while you are gone. Your mom needs the clarity that coming home-and finding out that her 18 y
    via thoughtsadvice5555
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  • 11
    13ex_G Talk to your mom about this, if she chooses to still do the things for your sister, it's to her own kids detriment.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 12
    Ok_Homework_7621 You can't rescue somebody against their will. If your mother continues to enable your sister, that's between the two of them. You still need to live your life.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
  • 13
    Careless-Image-885 NTA. If your mother does things for "Princess", she's causing the problem. She's taught your sister to be entitled. Just do as you said: only your things get taken care of. Don't loan your sister your car if you have one. Don't loan her money. Don't allow her to borrow your clean clothes when she has nothing to wear because she won't wash hers.
    via thoughtsadvice5555
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  • 14
    Adorable_Dust3799 When my kids were constantly complaining about someone didn't do the dishes well enough or the bath towels were damp i had everyone pick a color. They then got sheets, towels and dishes in that color and took care of their own. Go get a plate bowl and mug you like, wash them, and don't touch any other dishes. You might have to keep them in your room if they're the only clean ones. Worth it.
    via thoughtsadvice5555

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