33-year-old wife pressures husband to become stay-at-home dad, he demands to have a share of her real estate business in return: 'I want some security'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 20, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Adjusting to the realities of parenthood is a difficult transitionary period in and of itself, so it's not exactly productive or helpful when partners apply extra pressure onto one another during that time.

In an ideal world, couples remain a united front well throughout the process of starting a family, but this step is so world-shifting that new feelings and obstacles may change the perspectives of both parties. That's why checking in with one another at every turn is necessary. Sure, you may think everything was discussed beforehand, but people are likely to change their minds about certain details when the reality of what these decisions might actually look and feel like sinks in. 

Keep scrolling below for this tale of relationship tension between a thirty-something couple on the brink of starting a family.

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Let this story serve as yet another reminder that stay-at-home parenting is WORK, and that work to uphold a family unit needs to be recognized and supported however both parties see fit. Here, we have a 34-year-old husband who has been pressured by his wife to become a stay-at-home parent because her real estate business is more successful. While that decision might make sense from a financial standpoint, it's quite a lot to pressure your partner to give up their career when that wasn't the initial plan. His decision to demand a share of her business in return is not only smart but it is also fair. Here's the full story!

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    "AITAH for telling my wife I want part of her property if she wants me to quit my job?"

    My wife (33F) and I (34M) have been married for five years. She owns a successful real estate business that she started before we met, and I work as a project manager. We don't have kids yet,
    via ViniciusFromBcn
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    but she recently told me she wants to start a family soon, and that when we do, she thinks it would be best if I quit my job to manage the household and future children. She told me while handing me this, saying it would help me, assuming I would accept it instantly.
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    For your reference, here is the cover of the book this guy's wife handed him

    The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad Your Essential Manual for Being an Awesome Full-Time Shannon Carpenter Father
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    I was surprised because we've always been a dual-income household, and I enjoy my job.
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    She argued that since her business brings in significantly more money, it makes sense for me to stay home while she focuses on expanding it. She also
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    said she'd feel more comfortable knowing that when we have kids, I'm the one raising them instead of relying on daycare or a nanny.
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    I told her I'd consider it, but if I give up my career, I want to be legally entitled to a share of her business. If our marriage lasts forever, it wouldn't matter, but if
    via ViniciusFromBcn
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    we ever divorce, I'd be giving up my career advancement while her business keeps growing. She was shocked and said I should trust her and that this felt "transactional."
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    Cheezburger Image 10482526208
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I tried to explain that this isn't about not trusting her, I love her, but if I leave the workforce, I'd lose earning potential while her wealth increases. I'm fine with making sacrifices for our family, but I want some security in return.
    via ViniciusFromBcn
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    When I mentioned this to a couple of friends, they said I was being greedy and acting like I was planning for the marriage to fail. One even said I should be grateful she's offering to support me at all.
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    I'm starting to wonder... am I being too cold or calculating about this? AITAH?
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    ZookeepergameW... 4h ago NTA. Reddit is full of people telling women NOT to become SAHMs, because of the lack of financial security it causes.
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    Cool_Dot_4367 • 4h ago NTA, not at all for thinking ahead. I wish more SAHM/D had the foresight to think this way, me included. No one wants to think they marriage will fail, but you never know.
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    angelmakr9 • 4h ago Post nuptial agreement is in order. Would your friends be saying you're the ah if you were a woman?
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    Ot... 4h ago Edited 3h ago . NTA. This is how most women end up single mothers without a career or financial security. People
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    shaming them for not being home with the children and people shaming them for wanting a plan in case the marriage doesn't work. Don't quit your job
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    You don't plan on getting in a car accident every time you get into a car but you always put your seatbelt on.
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    DriftingHermit • 4h ago . NTA if the roles were reversed your friends would be telling your wife not to give up her job with zero security and that this is how
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    financially abive relationship start, what you're asking is more than reasonable considering the situation
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    xtnh • 4h ago If you are being greedy, what is she being? She wants her business, her kids, her free time, and you on the hook.
    via ViniciusFromBcn

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family drama AITAH stay at home family feud dad family mom entitled people
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