“You're not a teenager begging mommy to go to a sleepover”: 24-year-old claims that boyfriend is crossing her boundaries by going on an overnight trip with his childhood friends, internet begs him to see the red flags

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    AITAH? Girlfriend will not let me take overnight guys trip

    "What's next, a curfew and a GPS tracker?"
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    I've been dating this girl for 6 years. (23M, 24F) 3 of my buddies are taking a trip to St. Louis Friday night, and coming back Saturday afternoon. I wanted to go because these are my best friends and they are moving back to Oregon pretty soon.
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    My girlfriend is telling me one of her boundaries is that I don't take overnight trips with friends. I explained to her it makes no sense for me to drive 5 hours just to turn around and come back the same
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    day. She also told me I shouldn't have any friends that are single anyways.AITAH for insisting on going?
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    Lambsenglish That's not what a boundary is. A boundary is something we set around ourselves. A control is something we set around someone else.
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    This is a control. Now that you understand this, you have only to decide if you're going to let her control you in this way.
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    Stock Garage_672 | That's not what a boundary is. Thank you!
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    trvllvr I can't stand when people use "boundaries" to control other people. The issue isn't she "has a boundary," it's that she wants to control what OP does. She's making excuses to stop him from doing something she doesn't like.
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    OP, go on the trip. If she can't or doesn't trust you then that is on her, and the relationship is doomed anyway. My husband and I each do separate weekend getaways with friends a
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    couple times a year been married 22 years. Never an issue, because we don't try to control each other and we trust one another.
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    Communication Glad299 It's shocking how few people understand this. I've had people argue with me over it.
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    bucketofnope42 Because lots of people, like OPS girlfriend, think that adopting and grossly misusing therapeutic language somehow legitimizes their behavior. Like all the time someone says "narcissist" when they're actually just looking for a stronger word than "ahle"
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    whoisaname It's amazing how many people don't understand what a boundary is and think it is them getting to control others.
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    bigdave41 You're right, but you could technically say that she's setting a boundary of "I don't want to date people who ever go away anywhere overnight without me" at which point he's perfectly entitled
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    to say he's setting a boundary of "I don't want to date people who are insecure about me going anywhere without them" and call time of d the relationship. on
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    Co
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    Mother-Chipmunk-2452 "Grilfriend...LET me..." Bruh nooooooo0000. That's not how relationships work for anyone.
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    Crickettb Yep...."let me go" shouldn't be in relationship vocabulary unless it's... "let me go get that for you, you relax."
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    NTA GlitchyAl You're 23, not a grounded teenager begging mommy to go to a sleepover. If your girlfriend's 'boundary' is that you can't take an overnight trip
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    with your friends - ask yourself if you're in a relationship or a hostage situation - that's control. 'No single friends'? Are you supposed to submit a friend application for approval? Maybe a ch belt comes with it? ty
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    What's next, a curfew and a GPS tracker? Look, either grow a spine and live your life like an adult, or accept that you're slowly being molded into a pet who only leaves the house on a leash or just go all in ―sit, stay, and wait for your next set of approved activities.
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    Naerie96 Also, what if a friend that was is a long-term relationship suddenly separates? Are they automatically demoted from being your friend in this time of need? Can they reapply if they find someone again? This is absolutely crazy
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    Lmao45454 When your best friend of 12 years breaks up with his girlfriend so you have to cease all communication with him too
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    Nta emryldmyst Guess you're going to stomp all over her ridiculous, controlling boundaries. If you give in it'll just get worse.
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    Ok-Investment4742 Nta, this isn't a boundary. A boundary is something you have for yourself. If your partner crosses it, you break up. She has rules for you and is horribly controlling and appears to be isolating. Having lived this horrible toxic, ab ive life, i never want another person to live this way. Break up.

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