25-year-old mom-to-be refuses to let estranged parents be grandparents after they favored her childhood enemy over her: 'They said we were going to make her feel wanted and welcome'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 28, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

As a general rule, most people do not do something as drastic as going no contact with close family members unless they have a very good reason for it. To leave behind those who you grew up with or who raised you is often no easy decision, even when you have the worst kind of relationship with them. Nonetheless, it often proves to be the right thing to do for many individuals whose family causes them a high level of stress. Sometimes, it feels like the only option.

One of the downsides of making such a move is that it opens up the risk of those family members trying to make their way back into your life. This is most likely during momentous events like marriages, births, or inheritances, and it can make times that already require a lot of work seem extra overwhelming. Unfortunately, it is just something that those who are no contact have to be prepared for.


 

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    Cheezburger Image 10486977792
    via Zhivko Minkov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is what one expecting mom found herself dealing with after her estranged parents found out about her pregnancy and asked to be let back into her life. The 25-year-old had stopped speaking to them as a teenager, when she moved in with her grandparents. 

    The reason for this was that she had faced a childhood of being tormented by her older sister's best friend, Luna, which her parents justified because of this friend's difficult home life. After allowing Luna more and more access to her family and eventually moving in with her, the girl could not take any more.

    Due to their ignoring what she went through as a child, she refused to let them be active grandparents to her unborn child. They were upset, and she wanted reassurance that she was doing the right thing.

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    Cheezburger Image 10486978560
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for not letting my parents to be involved grandparents because they chose my sister's friend over me?

    I'm (25f) pregnant with my first child and only a few weeks ago my estranged parents found out about my pregnancy from someone I know back in my home town. They reached out so excited to find out they were going to be grandparents and wanting to be involved but I ignored them and continued ignoring them until two days ago when I replied one time and made it clear they will never know my child or be in our lives and that I wanted them to stop contacting me. This was all via email btw.
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    Let me get into some background. I have an older sister Sam (28) and she had a best friend Luna. Sam and Luna met in pre-k and became fast friends. Luna was over at our house all the time and eventually she started saying really awful things to me and b ying me. She called me names, mocked me whenever I asked if I could spend time with her and Sam, threw stuff at me when she'd see me and even made a game out of spitting at me and seeing how many times she could hit me. My parents knew and they d
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    She used to come along to extended family parties and dinners. I remember one time mom's side was all meeting up and because my parents didn't say Luna was coming we were a chair short for a bit. Luna took the chair and then said there was no room for me at the table just like there wasn't room for me anywhere and I should cry in a corner somewhere. Mom's family were horrified and I started to cry. I was like 9 by then. My grandparents ended up leaving the table and getting one for just the thre
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    When they had enough of that my parents told Sam that Luna needed to come over less or she needed to be nicer. They sorta stuck to that for a while. My grandparents checked in on me weekly to see if my parents were "letting that spoiled little madam into the house to ab se me" and I think that was the deterrent for my parents. But then when I was 12 my parents let Luna move in with us. They said her home situation was worse and she was going to apologize and we were going to make sure she felt w
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    I think you can see whose side Sam was always on. I lived like that for a little over a year before it got to be too much and I told my grandparents Luna was living with us. They went ballistic on my parents and after weeks or months of fighting about it my grandparents insisted I was going to move in with them. My parents protested against it but my grandparents said they couldn't be trusted to take care of me. My parents wouldn't kick out Luna for me so yeah. I lived with my grandparents the r
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    I actually had zero contact once I moved in with my grandparents. These emails were the first contact in more than a decade. My parents keep replying to that one email. I got like four within a few minutes about an hour after I sent it and they're telling me I'm taking this too far and they said Luna isn't even in the picture anymore. AITA?
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    People commended her decision.

    Ok-Preference-712 Well well well the consequence train is right on time isn't it. Guess Sam took the kicking after you left. What is the saying f around and find out. Your parents have and you get to live a happy life without them
    via Ok-Preference-712
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    Eastern_Condition863 "they said Luna isn't even in the picture anymore." This is the part that rips my heart out. Luna isn't even around anymore and they still didn't contact you? That's effed up. NC forever.
    via Eastern_Condition863
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    Jaccat25 Guess they didn't want to admit they abandoned their daughter and peeved off both sides of the family for nothing, unbelievable.
    via Jaccat25
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    FryOneFatManic I'm sorry you had to endure that. I'm glad your grandparents were on your side. NTA. Actions have consequences, and now they're finding out those consequences.
    via FryOneFatManic
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    Angelicajane72 Honestly, who wouldn't be hurt by that? Your parents seriously dropped the ball and now acting like nothing happened??? Wow
    via Angelicajane72
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    marshmallowfawns It's sad she had to go through that and I'm very glad she has strict boundaries
    via marshmallowfawns
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    Dependent Pilot1031 It took them 10 years to contact their daughter. What did they expect? They are not family anymore. NTA.
    via Dependent_Pilot1031
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    MelodicThunderButt Wait, why would anyone expect you to suddenly talk to these people just because you have a child. I'm so sick of this "grandparents rights" sh. Just no.
    via MelodicThunderBtt
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    EfficientSociety 73 NTA Your parents showed you who their priority was when you were a child. They have made no effort to contact you until it would be to their benefit. They want to be the grandparents because grandparents. That is something you earn by being a truly loving parent. If Luna has been out of their lives this long, why have they not tried to reach out? What makes them deserving of a place in your life now because you're pregnant?? The answer to that is NOTHING. You owe them exactly
    via EfficientSociety73
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    Educational_Bar_1809 NTA. Your parents pretty much tossed you aside for your tormentor. F them. They chose not to communicate with their daughter for over a decade. They don't deserve to play happy grandparents when they couldn't even step up to be your proper parents. Congratulations!!!! I'm curious though, what happened to Luna and why isn't she in the picture anymore? Your parents had time to contact you before now.
    via Educational_Bar_1809
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    Glittering Bag_3055 OP I have no idea what happened to her. I'm not even sure if they still talk to my sister or not.
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    ubottles65 Your grandparents are legends!
    via ubottles65
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    Glittering Bag_3055 OP Yes they are. My extended family are all good people. But my grandparents are the best.
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    trythisoutchiki NTA your child deserves to be in an environment without hostility. Your older sister sat there and went right along with the ab was giving you. Same with your parents. None of your immediate family is owed time with your child. Keep documentation of everything they try to do or say. Sounds like restraining orders may be needed in the future. Won't lie they will likely try and get your sister or other family involved. I'd make it abundantly clear to other family members that you d
    via trythisoutchiki
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    Glittering Bag 3055 OP I have no contact with my sister either. And my extended family would never side with them on this after everything my parents let me go through. My friends know the deal. So does my partner and his family. Everyone who knows me knows my parents let my bu y live with us and that they expected me to sk it up.
    via Glittering_Bag_3055
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    Fire_or_water_kai NTA I wonder what else went wrong for them that they think your child will be some sort of do over or consolidation prize? They went more than a decade without contacting you, they are garbage parents, and they deserve the same amount of consideration they gave you these 10+ years, which is zero. If Luna pops back in, they'd abandon your child too, so don't even give them the opportunity.
    via Fire_or_water_kai

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family pregnant enemy friendship aita childhood grandchildren grandparents sister reddit thread estranged no contact Reddit parents
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