38-year-old entrepreneur calls out wife for belittling his business as just a hobby: 'I pay for 75% of expenses!'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 31, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Most people's little hobbies do not support nearly the entire family. This entrepreneur has been consumed by the small business he started, which he has been trying to grow for the past five years. There have been a few hiccups along the way that have made balancing work with his family life especially difficult, so we can understand the feelings of both him and his wife on some level. However, when his wife belittled her husband and called his business a small hobby when that's what has been bankrolling their lifestyle for the past several years, that was a step too far.

Keep scrolling below for to see how this toxic relationship managed to get more messy!

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It's perfectly normal for couples to argue as they adjust to new expectations and commitments, especially when it comes to balancing work and family time. However, the ingratitude here signals a larger tension between the husband and wife that might put the future of their relationship in jeopardy. 

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    I've been starting/running a trades business in a major city. It's going into its fifth year, we have 8-12 employees, have won awards and grown every year.
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    The conflict: I called me wife to ask her about a paperwork problem for taxes - turned out we needed the completed 2024 for something (we hadn't yet filed).
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    She said it would give her a panic attack and she'd faint if I said she had to. I found her docs on my desk in the morning, figured I would try to fit them in during the day but couldn't. So as I was figuring out the plan for the
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    evening time wise (two kids, lots to do) I called and asked when she wanted me to do it. I meant that evening, would she prefer | work late and come back at a certain time to take over for the rest? Come home do bath and
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    dinner and then do it? None of the above? She got very angry and said I was asking her to figure out my life for me. I tried to clarify that I wasn't and what I meant, that I hadn't had a chance
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    to do it as I only had the files in the morning and she yelled at me and told me I always had some excuse because of my "hobby business."
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    I didnt yell back I just sai, "That was way over the line. Totally unnecessary and inappropriate."
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    I said that I put everything into building the business to help and support our family, and I couldn't believe how she could dismiss me and .. everything. That it felt
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    like she was calling me a loser and a failure. She angrily responded that she just called it a hobby and I was entitled to think what I want but I was a liar" for saying that she was implying a lot more than just one word. She said she was just
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    expressing frustration and I said, well no, you insulted me and you knew how much it would hurt.. that was the point. She didn't argue, just said she was entitled
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    to express her frustration and it wasn't her job to manage my feelings about what she said. Context about this: My business is in its fifth year.
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    I won't say it's been easy. It's been the hardest thing I ever did in my life. I (38M) had a desk job and was quite successful in one sector but the low pay, heavy hours and dependency on grants and funding was heavy. I couldn't
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    imagine doing it another 40 years, so I went looking for new careers. I applied to things I was over qualified for. I applied to things I was qualified for. I applied to things that, you'd think, anyone could get. Crickets.
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    It is hard to change careers. Then I found the skilled trades. I had to go back to school and get fit in one fell swoop, but I did it and toughed it out in some high production companies.
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    Eventually, a friend of mine at one and I decided to start our own. We saw many problems in our industry, for employees, for clients, for owners and opportunity in the market.
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    It's been a wild ride. Everything was progress well until a fire destroyed our service trucks in year three. In year four, my wife had a second child and experienced severe PPD which resulted in numerous hospitalizations and.. well.. rage
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    directed at me that was highly destabilizing. The worst happened almost a year to the day of the fires, which we hadn't yet climbed out of.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    It is march 2025 but it feels like marchvebbruary 2024 to me. The bad year just never ended as the build up of critical business stuff that needs to address is ..
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    haunting. It took us six months to replace the trucks after the fire but keep running somehow, and we still were dealing with early years growth pains. I thought the
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    next year would be tough but stable. It was not, it was worse. The worst year of my life, and I've had some rough ones before all this.
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    My wife has worked for us and helped, not because it was desperately needed but because she couldn't get another job. It allowed her to take a year off for both our kids and stay home. I
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    pay 75% of expenses, and the situation places extreme stress on me as if I falter or revenue is low there is nothing else coming in. On the other hand, she works from home and has flexible hours
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    and both kids are in daycare full time. When I am home late or need to work more for the money / business to survive first 5 she complains I'm not home. When I'm home she complains about money things.
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    I'm a pretty stoic person in terms of being screamed at, but this was just beyond beyond. I wish many things were different, but to call my work a hobby when it's the only support for our family and important to me? She sees no problem. I feel pointedly degraded.
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  • Several members of the online community shared similar stories and reactions to this toxic relationship drama. Some folks pointed out that 75% of the family income comes from this business, which is more than enough evidence that this “hobby” is simply not just a hobby.

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    Dlraetz1 1d ago . A hobby that pays 75% of the expenses and employs her. She is waaay out of line
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    Simple Assumpti... NTA You can tell her she is entitled to feel frustrated she is not entitled to place her frustration on you.
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    • t4thfavor 23h ago I mean, "Hobby Income" generally pays fewer taxes than "self employment"
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    eevee0000 • 1d ago Your wife is mean. Weird she would call the family's only source of income a hobby. She did it to undermine you but she should be your biggest supporter. NTA
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    • TheRealRedParadox 1d ago NTA tell her that she is in fact responsible for what she says if she says it to specifically hurt you. And no, she does not in fact,
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    have a right to express her frustration. She doesn't have that right at all Imao. When you're frustrated you deal with it like an adult you don't snap at and belittle your husband.
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family drama entrepreneur marriage job work wife relationships husband family business toxic relationship
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