After opposing daughter's destination wedding, mom comes around and pays for a luxury family trip to the location, daughter becomes suspicious: 'She's trying to upstage my wedding'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 3, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Destination weddings are a pickle, and an unnecessary one, if you ask me. They are expensive, they cause drama, and they never turn out to be this picture-perfect event like you dreamed it would be. Why can't couples suffice with a cute event that is physically close to most of their loved ones, and then go all out on a luxurious honeymoon? You don't need your entire family to travel with you to someplace fancy; save that for you and the person you intend to marry.

As I mentioned, destination weddings are messy and dramatic, for a number of reasons. First, people can barely afford to buy something out of the wedding registry. Believe me when I say they do not want to pay thousands of dollars just so they can attend a wedding. Which leads to the second reason, in which everybody's feelings get hurt when something doesn't go their way, especially the bride's feelings. Just like the bride in the story down below.

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  • The couple in this story wanted to have a destination wedding with only the people closest to them; that's fine. The bride's mother tried to convince them to do something else, but to no avail. She eventually decided to go along, and even agreed to pay for the bride's sisters' trip to the wedding, because they said they otherwise could not come.

    That did not sit well with the bride, apparently, as she saw her mother's actions as a way for her to upstage the wedding. Keep scrolling to read the rest of the story.

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for Being Upset That My Mom Paid for My Sisters’ Luxury Trip but Told Me to Just Have a Courthouse Wedding?"

    My fiancé (33M) and I (30F) are having a destination wedding in Cancun this October. We're paying for everything ourselves, including first-class flights and an upgraded two-
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  • story villa for our honeymoon after four days. We intentionally wanted a destination wedding to keep it intimate.
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  • From the start, my mom (60F) made it clear she thought we were spending too much money on this wedding (I never told her the cost) and suggested we skip the wedding
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  • altogether just do a courthouse ceremony and a honeymoon instead because that's what she did for both of her marriages. She even offered to stay home with our
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  • baby so we could go alone. We politely declined and moved forward with our plans because I want my mother AND child at my wedding.
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  • My two sisters (late-30s, early 40s) want to come but couldn't afford it. I told my mom that if they couldn't, that was okay since we weren't expecting everyone to make it and that in
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  • no way do I want her paying for them. She always runs to me and complains anytime they don't pay her back. My mom initially seemed on board with this, even trying to find ways to cut costs for herself.
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  • Then, out of nowhere, she booked first-class flights and a two-story villa for herself AND both my sisters. Not just covering their trip but giving them the same luxury experience we planned for our
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  • honeymoon. She booked our exact flights and the most expensive room at the resort. And now she says she's putting them on "payment plans" to pay her back when they can set
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  • up their own. Like I get it, she wants the luxury experience too but to foot the costs for them s.. ks. I can't shake the feeling that she's trying to upstage my
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  • wedding and honeymoon. My fiancé and I just had a baby and were stretching ourselves to afford the upgrades and the wedding just to make things special. She didn't offer to help us financially at all but
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  • suddenly has the money to upgrade herself and my sisters. It stings, especially since she acted like spending money on this trip was such a burden before.
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  • AITA for feeling some type of way about this? Or am I overthinking it? Edit: I noticed i missed some very important context. I never wanted to not include my
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  • sisters. I want them at my wedding. I took time to notify them almost a year before the wedding. Both are gainfully employed. They have adequate time to plan. I was very transparent w/how much it will
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  • cost them, ways to save money for the trip, best times to book etc. They never pay my mom back. It's usually the topic of discussion for MONTHS so much it stresses me out. I want
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  • her to have the vacation she wants, and they have what they can afford. Weddings are stressful enough and I need them for moral support instead for the whole process. This will
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  • just be another thing I have to hear about for the rest of the year and maybe the rest of our lives because it's my wedding.
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  • My fiancé and I also asked our parents if they would be willing to contribute before any wedding planning. They said no. We said "yep" haha.
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  • LSAdorees Nahhh this is wild. She went from 'you're spending too much' to 'let me drop a bag on my faves real quick.' The math ain't mathing. You're not overthinking-she just showed you where her priorities are. Enjoy your wedding and let them flex on their 'payment plans'.
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  • Both-Buffalo9490 She's undermining you. Don't spend your honeymoon with them around. Leave to a different hotel.
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  • Sparklingwine23 Nta, please tell me they aren't staying after your wedding?
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  • Jokester 316 NTA, but it's her money. She can do as she pleases. Just don't let her vent to you when your sisters don't pay her back in a timely manner.
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  • spencers_mom1 It's her money and she wants them there obviously. So she can do what she wants. Years later you may need glad your sister's were present at your wedding. Be happy mom is going.
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  • Lycaenini YTA. You don't care that your sisters cannot afford coming to your wedding. Now that your mom pays for them you are jealous and worried that your mom wants to upstage you?
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  • Your mom spends a lot of money so she and your sisters can be at your destination wedding. She would not take this trip if it wasn't for your wedding. You should do some deep dive into your mind why you are this jealous of your sisters.
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  • Big_lt Going with YTA Why do you care if your mother bought first class and a villa? Just ignore her complaining when they aren't paying back.
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  • It's her money she can do with it what she wants. You seem overly invested in her financials
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  • drosen32 Control what you can control, which is your trip and your wedding. Whatever your mom and sisters do or don't do is beyond your control. You can control if you hear about your
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  • sisters not paying your mom back, so control that when the time comes. Enjoy your wedding.
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family drama aita baby destination wedding mother siblings reddit story parenting babysitting wedding family sister trip daughter Reddit women parents children
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