Woman plans wedding as her fiancé plots financial exclusion, pushing her to rethink their relationship’s future:; ‘I feel like we aren’t on the same page about our future goals’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Apr 7, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Okay, listen, I'm the last person to consult about finances, real estate, or long-term planning. I've accidentally paid the same bill twice in one week and still don't know what equity really means. Thankfully, you don't need a degree in wealth management to spot the giant, flaming red flag this woman's fiancé is waving like he's at a Fourth of July parade.  

The woman in today's story is planning her dream wedding, blissfully envisioning a future of shared love, laughter, and property investments. But then her fiancé casually drops the bombshell: their first "joint" investment will be on his property, property that's conveniently reserved for one of his kids after he kicks the bucket. Romantic, right? Apparently, his idea of "I do" includes splitting vows, toasts, and every expense but not, you know, actual assets.  

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  • Some people just baffle me. This guy is fully on board with sharing a life with this woman but somehow thinks finances are sacred, untouchable territory. What does he think marriage is? Roommates with slightly more commitment? If he's already prioritizing his property over their partnership.

    So, should she cancel the wedding? If he can’t even pretend to include her in financial decisions before they’ve said "I do," she should probably say "I won’t”. Love is great and all, but you can’t deposit blind devotion in a joint bank account.

  • Pridema Pridesma Merisa Sine Raderma B
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • IF(43) am engaged to my fiancé M(43) have been together a year and half and have been planning our wedding that's is set in 5 months. We have known each other since we were high school.
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  • I won't get into much detail as to as to not give myself away (this is a burner account), but we both experienced something tragic in our previous relationships, which lead us together as adults.
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  • I absolutely LOVE this man! He is great with my kids and I adore his adult children. And he makes me happier than I have ever been. So being in this place of confusion has me so severely torn that I don't know who to trust... my heart or my mind!
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  • Not jow most of us see marriage

    Cheezburger Image 10490651392
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • While we have been planning our wedding, we have also been planning our future together as all couples do. We have been considering looking into real
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  • estate to invest together. We both own our own homes and are looking into purchasing properties together once married!
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  • Here's my dilemma... a few nights ago while talking about some properties we want to consider, he informed me that the first investment would be adding a
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  • Just do the math

    2 x=mx+9 ax+by+ S ху x+ B f(cs) (fc>0) 2 X-1 X=2x+1 f(c=o) Х 4x-5 X-X n>232 4 == + X225 X+5X-5 f(4) du 2 a+b? た一位V1+8 t-b-4ac za 3.39 2 2 1+19 0 2=-1+3 че n D дет +1=0 ナンク
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  • modular home to his already existing property that he owns to rent out. A property that is set to go to one of his children once he dies. I made the comment I don't
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  • think it's right that the first property/home we invest in as a couple is something that will even go to me in the event of his death. The original plan was to
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  • purchase enough properties of EQUAL value to rent out until our deaths and each of our children would receive one to do as they please (keep or sale).
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  • We are using our conjoined finances/credit to make these purchases (at the moment I make more than he does and my credit is better but his property is
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  • valued more than mine). When I voiced my concerns with the issue he got angry and shut down. I will admit I was starting to feel used and in that moment of frustration
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  • I popped off with "Well maybe we should just separate our finances again and do our own thing!" This made him more frustrated.
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  • The fact he hasn't even tried to discuss this further has me feeling like we aren't on the same page about our future goals and endeavors. And THAT is making
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  • me question whether or not I am overreacting or if I should cancel or even postpone the wedding until we figure this out! So Reddit... AITAH??
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  • Ok_Satisfaction_5 It sounds like you're being valued for your... well, cash value. NTA and please don't marry him!
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  • Nani65 You two have to get on the same page before the wedding. I take it you must have talked about this before now, so why is he changing the plan?
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  • Salt-Finding9193 What sort of crazy is a man that thinks you'll pay half of an extension of his existing home so he can leave it to his children?
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  • I mean Sounds like you're being scammed. If you continue with this fool at least see a lawyer and get your will airtight, look at living wills also. Protect your children's inheritance.
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  • HotBoxButDontS NTA, keep your finances separate unless you marry. Also, at your age you should always have a prenup.
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  • ContemplatingFolly Wow. Deciding unilaterally how you as a couple are going to make a major investment? Are other aspects of the relationship like this?
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  • laksa_gei_hum It's cheaper to call off the wedding than to fight about finance later on, have him screw your kids over their inheritance, and then divorce him.
    via laksa_gei_hum

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Dating-Relationships hoa dating fails marriage wedding advice We Are Dating red flags red flag dating
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